What is it about elderly people sometimes?? I sort of mentioned this on another thread.
Some of them are ok -- sweet, kind, and good patients. Many of them, however, I must say, are truly a MESS.
They will usually be admitted in such poor shape, and have so many co-morbidities: DM, CHF, PAD, PVD, GERD, depression, anxiety, you name it -- they've got it. Then they've got alzheimers, or some other dementia problem. So many seem neglected -- neglected by their families, their spouses, their facilities that they reside in.
They come in bruised, battered, many just filthy. Nails that haven't been trimmed in months, and odors that just almost singe your nostrils.
And many are just so absolutely demanding. Get me this, get me that. I NEED this, I need that. I need you in here every 5 minutes to do something FOR me. They behave as if they are helpless. Whatever happened to the old stoic and wise self reliant man/woman?
What is going on in this country? Have these people just neglected themselves all their lives? Does it stem from their familial relationships? Their state of health? Does it stem from our society as a whole and how we discriminate? Does it come from ageism? Does it come from the gradual breakdown of society?
I'm just trying to understand it as I work on a unit that cares mostly for them. I lately have dealt with some of the nastiest and filthiest people lately -- and I just have to wonder how they ended up like this?? And they seem to come from ok families most of the time.
It makes me truly, truly fearful of getting older.
You know I have to be honest here some geriatric patients can be terrible , and they don't take care of themselves and are neglected by families who literally just wait until they pass away . I am not saying all patients are like this but the vast majority do have major issues diabetes , smoking ,and dementia . They are difficult to cummunicate with implenting care can be very challenging. But many seniors are very healthy and active which is great and I encourage this behavior completely . It really depends on the individual person.
I have to wonder, if for some, if it's the poly-pharmacy of drugs, particularly psych drugs, that makes them worse than they were to begin with. Then there's a downward spiral of more drugs, with more side effects.
Specializes in Onco, palliative care, PCU, HH, hospice.
I hope that the nurse that cares for you when you are old has more patience than you do. I cherish the old patients I care for and I give them the respect that they deserve.
Nothing in her post indicates that she disrespects them, just that she feels frustrated at times while taking care of the more difficult patients. Sorry, I just don't understand the point of disrespecting the OP when all she's doing is expressing a very valid frustration.
I agree with leslie you have to set boundaries with patients. Every patient population has its own unique challenges and geriatrics is a prime example of one of the most challenging and rewarding patient populations to take care of. Best of luck to you, make sure you take time to relax and take care of yourself.
I agree with the OP. Not all elderly people are nice, and some are downright nasty because they know that nobody's going to arrest a little old lady (the AOx3 ones, I mean). I once had a really mean nursing home resident (she had 5 kids, only one came to visit her because she was so verbally abusive, and he'd spend most of the visiting time apologizing to the staff for the fact that she'd try to get people fired) who scratched up my arm and called me curse words. When the charge nurse came in, she put on a cute and confused act. Remember, there will be mean nasty people everywhere. Some just happen to be old. It's not uncompassionate to point our their behavior and want to learn how to deal with them.
I also think that this has to do with the times changing. When this elderly populations's parents and grandparents got old, they were more likely to just die. Many just dropped dead from the first thing that hit them, like heart attacks. Now people routinely get treated for these things. People don't know how to deal with these suddenly common geriatric years, and many treat it like a medical condition. I hope that times are better by the time I reach those years, because that is not happening to me. The concept of being trapped on this earth with a declining body or a declining mind and being forced to endure harsh futile care scares the daylights out of me.
Here's a rather crass but very good article from Cracked entitled 6 Obnoxious Old People Behaviors (Explained by Science) (NSFW language). #4 makes some really good points. Yes, many of them are frustrated with their lives and miserable existences. I don't envy them once bit.
What is it about elderly people sometimes?? I sort of mentioned this on another thread.
Some of them are ok -- sweet, kind, and good patients. Many of them, however, I must say, are truly a MESS.
They will usually be admitted in such poor shape, and have so many co-morbidities: DM, CHF, PAD, PVD, GERD, depression, anxiety, you name it -- they've got it. Then they've got alzheimers, or some other dementia problem. So many seem neglected -- neglected by their families, their spouses, their facilities that they reside in.
They come in bruised, battered, many just filthy. Nails that haven't been trimmed in months, and odors that just almost singe your nostrils.
And many are just so absolutely demanding. Get me this, get me that. I NEED this, I need that. I need you in here every 5 minutes to do something FOR me. They behave as if they are helpless. Whatever happened to the old stoic and wise self reliant man/woman?
What is going on in this country? Have these people just neglected themselves all their lives? Does it stem from their familial relationships? Their state of health? Does it stem from our society as a whole and how we discriminate? Does it come from ageism? Does it come from the gradual breakdown of society?
I'm just trying to understand it as I work on a unit that cares mostly for them. I lately have dealt with some of the nastiest and filthiest people lately -- and I just have to wonder how they ended up like this?? And they seem to come from ok families most of the time.
It makes me truly, truly fearful of getting older.
The reason they're being admitted is because they're sick. These places are where sick and old people go.
When you get old, you'll understand better. As responded to the other thread, this is the end of the road and they're not all going to be ready to die, aren't thrilled being dumped into a facility rather than with a caring family (if their family cares at all) and there's nothing more stressful than an illness that can kill them and they're sick of it.
If I were dumped in a nursing home, I'd be livid.
I hope if I get DM and other complications, I don't get a nurse who's had it with "people like me" and treat me like I'm less than a human and not someone's father, brother, grandfather, etc.
Sometimes it helps to ask them to bring in pictures of their earlier years so you can identify with them rather than alienate. It appears you need to change specialties.
Some patients may be old nurses who got sick of caring for old people.
Some people act like jerks because their disease process influences their behavior. Some people act like jerks because they feel powerless, unwanted, undervalued, etc. Some people act like jerks because they ARE jerks.
Demanding and hostile behaviors ARE trying. They are not easy to deal with day in and day out. Even the family members- the very people that love the patients the most- can and do have negative emotional reactions to these behaviors, and often feel very, very guilty.
I think some posters are being a bit hard on the OP. I think the OP had some legitimate questions. Feeling frustrated by aspects of her job does not mean she lacks empathy, patience, or compassion.
Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.
I understand and sympathize with you SoM.
Working in the hospital setting brings you all forms of dementia, neglect, sorrow and smiles from the geriatric patient.
One day you can have a sweet 96 y/o man kissing your hand for taking care of him, and then next night he is cussing you out and attempting to hit you for existing. (It happened, I cried, A LOT). It comes with the territory.
Does it make me fear getting older? Hell yeah. I see how people look at those patients, how they don't want to take care of them, how they gruffly move them around when cleaning them. I don't want to be there.
All we can do is have the strength to handle what is given to us and the grace to manage the rest.
I was lucky last week. I had a Alzheimer's patient who I lovingly called "Captain Pop-Up" because he would get up from bed every 20 minutes for 12 hours looking for his wife who had gone home for the night. He was angry sometimes, and sometimes crying, but after assuring him she was home and sleeping he would lay back down.
The bigger problem I have with the elderly are the families that breathe down your neck because now, all of a sudden, after years in the nursing home, they suddenly care about the outcome and care.
Again, thanks for all the replies. The more judgemental ones, I could do without. I mean -- honestly, if you have TRULY taken care of elderly folks, you WILL get frustrated from time to time. I feel that if you deny that, you're lying.
Again, all I'm after is insight. I have not personally lived around a lot of older folks, and it's something I'm just not familiar with.
I think it's been an interesting conversation. The polypharmacy angle is interesting.
I, too, have had the joys of taking care of these folks -- the hugs, the eyes that light up when you come into the room. I had one gentleman who followed me around the unit in his wheelchair -- he just wanted to be near me because we had become so close during his stay. He had been a B-17 bomber pilot in his day. I was so interested in hearing about his life and his family. No other nurse was able to handle him, except me.
So, don't tell me I don't have compassion, or empathy. I FEEL for these people -- and I like to know why some of them are in such bad shape. Wouldn't that count me as someone who actually CARES FOR elderly patients??
What is it about elderly people sometimes?? I sort of mentioned this on another thread......
They come in bruised, battered, many just filthy. Nails that haven't been trimmed in months, and odors that just almost singe your nostrils. .... And many are just so absolutely demanding. Get me this, get me that. I NEED this, I need that. I need you in here every 5 minutes to do something FOR me. They behave as if they are helpless. Whatever happened to the old stoic and wise self reliant man/woman? ......I lately have dealt with some of the nastiest and filthiest people lately -- and I just have to wonder how they ended up like this?? And they seem to come from ok families most of the time.
It makes me truly, truly fearful of getting older.
We're all different; based on the above was why I believe the "judgmental" comments came in. Re-read what you wrote; one could not help but have a 'tude answering a call light, don't you think (I'm not accusing; just consider...me included)!
I think most would be self reliant if they could. Not sure why it needed to be posted a second time (this tells me you're very frustrated and perhaps the last answers weren't enough). Please understand it's not personal at all. I'm just saying step back and take a break. It's a hard field and I commend you for working in it. I'm glad you did give some insight that you haven't cared for an elderly relative so now it makes sense. I cared for one who just died 2 months ago. He was complaining of this and that and we were going to the doctor for this and that, had multiple health problems, skin tears and autoimmune issues and became demanding and cranky. Knowing the cycle of life, I knew his time was near and told everyone to cool it because people get nasty before they go. Sure enough, 2 1/2 months later he was gone. I'm glad I held my opinions and tongue when he died last month and now that he's gone, I'm happy he didn't see as much as a sideways look from me.
It's not easy. I can empathize with you...just try to empathize with them. Another stinky patient is not just another patient but a miracle of life depending on you for care and compassion. It's not easy but separating ourselves from the situation and just doing the job we were hired to do, once mastered, prevents burnout.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I think it may be many different things for different people and any combonation of things. As far as the lack of hygiene, that could be depression, inability to get in the shower or both. Maybe in there culture or time, washing everyday was considered a luxury or unnecessary. Maybe it was not something they did ever in their lives.
As far as being demanding, I guess bossing us around makes them feel like they have control over something when everything else in their lives seems to be out of their control more and more.
I think you might have something there when you talk about ageism and discrimination. They are probably lowest on the ladder of importance in our society. We joke about them, treat them like children, call them honey or sweetie. I know I get annoyed when people call me sweetie or honey, it is very condescending. Maybe it annoys them because they dont see themselves as feeble old codgers like we do, they see themselves as adults who worked and raised kids and did important things, and now they are relegated to the nsg home like some useless old rag. They may no longer be productive members of society and I think this causes them to get depressed. They have watched many of their friends and family die and might be really lonely.
They might see the younger generation as a bunch of ireverant wippersnappers who dont have any respect. Every generation does this. I know I do and I am not even that old. I just try to keep things in perspective but I still get angry when I see some stupid kid with his underwear showing because his pants are below his a$$ cheeks :angryfire:madface::hlk:. God that infuriates me.
And lastly, they have alot of time on their hands to dwell on things, especially their numerous somatic complaints. Please be patient and kind to them. They are not long for this earth and they have been through alot.
I sort of think of them as living history books. I like to ask them about their personal experiences of some historic event ie, WW2, the 60s or whatever, depending on how old they are. I think it helps them to know you see a person with a history and not some old fart. Remember, they were someones baby once and then they came of age, fell in love, got married, had kids, etc. It is actually quite interesting if you have time to talk to them.
WONDERFUL post.......thank you!!!!!:yeah:
It also helps to remember that even the surliest, filthiest, nastiest-dispositioned person on Earth is, or at least was, loved by someone. (I could also add that he/she is loved by God, which alone makes him/her worthy of respect IMHO.) I know it's hard sometimes to be patient and kind when somebody's yanking on the call light for the tenth time in the past five minutes and screaming like a shrew if you don't fly down there at the speed of sound, but it's better than regretting a sharp word spoken in frustration or feeling guilty because the one time you ignore them, they really ARE dying.
Speaking of underwear hanging out....I have on very good authority that for some reason that ignorant trend began in prisons and it is an indication that the person wearing the low hanging pants is letting the other prisoners know he is "available"...if you catch my drift.
As soon as my youngest teen-aged son found this out he quit wearing the really baggy jeans and his friends did as well. I'm certain if these noobs knew the significance of this they would cease to keep following this trend.:lol_hitti
Specializes in acute rehab, med surg, LTC, peds, home c.
ISpeaking of underwear hanging out....I have on very good authority that for some reason that ignorant trend began in prisons and it is an indication that the person wearing the low hanging pants is letting the other prisoners know he is "available"...if you catch my drift.
As soon as my youngest teen-aged son found this out he quit wearing the really baggy jeans and his friends did as well. I'm certain if these noobs knew the significance of this they would cease to keep following this trend"
I cant explain why this trend bothers me as much as it does, I shouldn't care right? But everytime I see a kids boxers hanging out I start going off on a tangent (usually in the car with my kids) until one of them is like "Alright Mom, calm down already". I just think how "sheep-like" some kids are that they will do something as overtly stupid as this, just to be "cool". Most dumb fads I can almost understand even if I think they are dumb, (afterall I did rock a mullet back in the day) but I just cant get over how ridiculous this trend is.
:yeah:
coffee4metech
230 Posts
You know I have to be honest here some geriatric patients can be terrible , and they don't take care of themselves and are neglected by families who literally just wait until they pass away . I am not saying all patients are like this but the vast majority do have major issues diabetes , smoking ,and dementia . They are difficult to cummunicate with implenting care can be very challenging. But many seniors are very healthy and active which is great and I encourage this behavior completely . It really depends on the individual person.