Have you found yourself blurring the professional boundary?

[Joe V]

We've addressed this before when the patient-Nurse boundaries are blurred. But, it is a topic that is always important. Sometimes patients can affect us so strongly that it is difficult to keep a professional distance.

Our feelings and emotions can be so difficult to handle especially when the patient reminds us of a loved one. Memories flood back as we see our loved one in them. Our emotions are stirred by their mannerisms, a smile, or even just the touch of their hand. They come into our lives for only a fleeting moment and leave us changed when they depart.

Have you found yourself blurring the professional boundary?

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[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

Working in LTC we really do get to know the people we care for as well as their families. Of course I share some aspects of my life. They all know I'm married and they know about my family and pets. That's about it though. They don't know exactly where I live, they don't have my number and unless I just happen to run into a family member or former resident somewhere I don't see them outside of work.

For that matter I don't really share any intimate details about my life with co-workers either. Maybe it's a generational thing but I just don't get why people feel the need to share every detail of their lives on social media and at work.

[Quota, BSN, RN]

I work in patient oncology and some of our patients are on the unit for 30 days stretches only to come back for another 30 days 1-2 months later. Certainly develop friendly relationships with some of those patients, they know I’m a crazy dog lady, I probably know a decent amount about their family/pets as well. I don’t think I really cross any boundaries but they certainly know more about me than the random med/surg type pts who are on our floor for a few days and leave.

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

2 minutes ago, Quota said:

I work in patient oncology and some of our patients are on the unit for 30 days stretches only to come back for another 30 days 1-2 months later. Certainly develop friendly relationships with some of those patients, they know I’m a crazy dog lady, I probably know a decent amount about their family/pets as well. I don’t think I really cross any boundaries but they certainly know more about me than the random med/surg type pts who are on our floor for a few days and leave.

I definitely don't think things like this crosses boundaries. To me, crossing boundaries is giving phone numbers, accepting FB friend requests, or sharing home addresses and the like.

We can bond over stories of our pets and kids/grandkids etc. Sometimes it humanizes our patients to us and vice versa.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

And being a male, I still make sure I always have a woman - 2 if possible - close by to chaperone. I don't need ANY trouble.

[thinbluelineRN, MSN, NP]

Working corrections for almost ten years- no I don't cross boundaries with my patients. It is a big no-no.

[amoLucia]

I read here about boundaries being crossed. I've done things that others would consider to be verboten.

What have I done? Nothing spectacular. But those times when I did so, it usually benefitted ME more than the pt. I felt GOOD doing so - like the feeling that comes with 'little random acts of kindness'. No accolades were needed. I think I remained anonymous for all intent & purposes.

Thinking back, there were a couple things I might look at a bit differently NOW. But I don't regret what I did THEN. And I think I would prob do so again TODAY

kbrn2002 - you sum it up well.

*** You know, I think this might make for another similar-type thread. Hmm.

[2BS Nurse, BSN]

I get so annoyed when coworker calls adult patients "sweetie" , "honey" and "handsome". We shouldn't have to pour on the sugar to increase satisfaction scores. We are there to do a job and that's it!

[Daisy Joyce]

I was taught that calling adult patients endearments was emotional abuse because it’s a form of belittling and infantilizing.

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

2 hours ago, Daisy Joyce said:

I was taught that calling adult patients endearments was emotional abuse because it’s a form of belittling and infantilizing.

If you do it against their will, yes. But if they ask to be called those endearment, no. But it had better be documented

[2BS Nurse, BSN]

On 3/17/2020 at 4:42 PM, Hoosier_RN said:

If you do it against their will, yes. But if they ask to be called those endearment, no. But it had better be documented

Patients don't seem to care in the outpatient setting. I'll bet a male nurse could not get away with that though!

[MarkMyWords]

It has become customary in public to be called by the first name, even though it is often inappropriate. Everyone presumes to be friendly. I prefer my last name. Mr. or Dr. But in a clinic hospital situation, I'd prefer my first name. This is age related. If the patient is much older, they might prefer their last name. All nurses I have known kept strict boundaries when I was a patient. No chitchat even when I wanted company. I gave a polite personal compliment to a O.T. once and she minimized contact with me after that...on the job.

[amoLucia]

Funny that this topic has just come up again for me, although in a reversed-type situation. Just this past Monday.

I have a companion/home aide who comes to my home twice weekly. It's a new arrangement for me and this aide is also new to me. I alerted her to the fact that I freq call many folk "Hon" just because I don't remember names well. I DID ask her if there was a problem and she was OK with it.

I've had several home CNAs/HHAs in the past year. And with my foggy memory at times, I had trouble keeping track of the Mary & Maria & Marie (and the others). They helped me with personal care, esp for bedtime. Many times, I joked with them that I felt like they were helping to tuck me in bed like a 'Mommy with a lil' one'. As they were leaving, it became a standing joke as we would be saying our goodnight/goodbye, I would quite ostensibly say, "Mom" then and my 'thank you, drive safe'. And we'd laugh. I sincerely appreciated their assist and I think the levity made for good relations.

Years earlier in the NHs, I didn't remember pts' names there either. And all the residents were LOLs or LOM with white hair & glasses!! I was a GOOD ID bracelet-checker, esp when I floated to another unit. To my knowledge no one ever objected. Sometimes with an AO, short-term resident, I would avoid names until a better bonding. I knew then & now where the line was/is.