Harassment, Stalking, Impersonation by Psycho Ex... Name Change?

[HopefulVANurse]

Situation: I had a relationship with a man for 5 years, we became engaged, but I gradually saw a different side of him. He has a history of mental illness in his family, so not all of the crazy things he did can be attributed to character flaws. I'm over it, but I am continually being harassed, stalked, and cyberstalked.

I filed for a restraining order after he stole my dog--a real, walked-into-a-police-station bona fide restraining order. This still hasn't deterred my ex. Even worse, he created surprisingly realistic social media with all of my normal pictures plus intimate pictures he convinced me to let him take while we were together. He used these pictures to add all of my friends and nursing school classmates. The police are reluctant to do anything because we live in a rural area and I feel like they don't know the first thing about what to do because it's a cyber crime.

My ex has further threatened to use my pictures and pretend like I am doing some sort of nude erotica, in order to have my nursing license revoked.

Look, I know I put myself in a vulnerable position when I let him take those pictures of me, but I fear for my life and my career. There aren't too many women in this younger generation who haven't done that, sadly.

My only idea was to file for a name change prior to nursing school and then simply get a job in a different part of this state or another state nearby. [I am shopping for a house, too, so I am terrified that he will be able to find where I live in the county auditor website.] I have already deleted all of my social media so that my ex won't be able to embarrass me in front of new people. Has anyone else dealt with this? I just don't want the online BON stuff to show him anything further about me, or for the hospital to do one of those publicity shoots and I happen to be in the picture... and then he makes a profile like he did before and adds all of the personnel listed in the picture and pretends to be me (and likely will say obscene things like he did before).

Thank you so much for hearing me out, and thank you in advance for any and all advice!!!

[elkpark]

I wonder if your state police department or SBI has a cyber crimes division that might be able to help you?

[HopefulVANurse]

elkpark,

Thank you for your response. Do you have any anecdotal or personal success with this?

I am obviously open to considering ANY course of action, but it seems like the SBI and state-level policing would have bigger fish to fry than a situation like mine.

[Emergent, RN]

This is a very dangerous situation for you. You need to obtain expert advise. Men like this can kill. They escalate after restraining orders etc. This man sounds unstable to me.

Protect yourself!

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

You need to lawyer up and take this to the hugest level possible-take CONTROL of the situation and since he is still hart adding you, you can file a violation of the restraining order and have him arrested; also for committing fraud!

You may need to contact credit bureaus and place a flag on your file and state someone is committing fraud against your name; since he knows your personal information; he is hell bent on destroying you.

DON'T back down!!!

[chare]

1. He stole your dog,

2. Violated a restraining order,

3. Cyberstalking you to the point

• a. Your considering moving,
  
• b. Changing your name,
  
• c. Fear your career's in jeopardy,
  
• d Fear for your life,
  

Did I miss anything. I don't think the fish get much bigger. You need to take this serious. Both elks ark and LadyFree28 gave you excellent advice; You really Should contact law enforcement, preferably at the state level, as well as hire an attorney.

[pixierose, BSN, RN]

elkpark,

Thank you for your response. Do you have any anecdotal or personal success with this?

I am obviously open to considering ANY course of action, but it seems like the SBI and state-level policing would have bigger fish to fry than a situation like mine.

No, get that thought out of your head right now -- state-level policing *would* see this as a big enough fish to fry. This is a very frightening situation, OP. Listen to the pp's -- they've given excellent advice.

[Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN]

Read the book " the Gift of Fear"

it has great advice about situations like yours

[JustBeachyNurse, LPN]

You are worthy. You are exactly who needs SBI stalking/cyber crimes (or federal of state lines are crossed).

Call now they will help you:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support

[ATTACH]22137[/ATTACH]

[JustBeachyNurse, LPN]

elkpark,

Thank you for your response. Do you have any anecdotal or personal success with this?

I am obviously open to considering ANY course of action, but it seems like the SBI and state-level policing would have bigger fish to fry than a situation like mine.

These scenarios are taken very seriously. They have dedicated units trained to assist and protect you. Make the call. You can call the DV hotline I posted above and they will advise you how to promote safety and move forward

[crazin01]

The others have already given you better/more advice than I would know to think of. And please forgive me if I sound horrible (but the animal lover in me absolutely must ask) how is your puppy? I hope he didn't harm him. And you of course. I hope these resources are able to give you some guidance.

And while there are new divisions and departments popping up regarding cyber crimes, I hear ya on the 'rural' are part and local PD's being very behind the times. This is where I would focus on my dorky side and document EVERY communication with police/law enforcement etc. Sergeant/captain, name, time of day etc, what was discussed, any documents to accompany and a duplicate copy of these communication logs.

Please let us know what happens.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

Yes, aside from getting what legal assistance you are able, were I in your situation, I would change my name, move to a different location, and eschew social media. Sorry you're going through this!