Handling chauvinistic male charge nurse

regularRN · Dec 22, 2010

And everyone knows, managers (regardless of male or female) are the first to be laid off.

madwife2002, BSN, RN · Dec 22, 2010

Please remain calm and discuss things without personal insults please

rntim49 · Dec 22, 2010

I am saddened to read garbage like this on this site. men vs women? we are all a team here regardless of sex. I would think true medical professionals would be above all this. Bottom line, we are just human beings trying to get through life with our own set's of problems.Merry Christmas everyone. tim

Mike A. Fungin RN · Dec 22, 2010

At the moment he is thinking ' I'm the natural leader of you lot because I am a male and that's my religion'
The moment he says "I'm your leader because that's the natural order because I am a male' ... he will get nailed. This is would be highly inappropriate behaviour and will get him into trouble.
(however he is much too smart to actually do this)

I'm... actually at a loss for words at this statement.

His gender is an issue because he is a male nurse who has been promoted with way less credential than the several other nurses in the same role who happen to be female.

Only because you're assuming that's why he was promoted.

Honestly, if a male nurse had started a thread like this and entitled it "****** female charge nurse", do you think that everyone would be cheering me on?

No, I reckon not. If any one of us guys posted a thread about a female nurse who got promoted and filled it with the kind of vitriole that OP is spewing... I shudder at the thought of the response.

You have totally dismissed his sexist behavior, and *that* is the real issue here.

What sexist behavior? OP hasn't written anything to support that accusation, and something tells me that if she could have (i.e. he favors male staff) then she surely would've shared it with us. If he's simply a jerk, to everyone, that's not sexist. All she has is her assumption that his sex played a role in the promotion, based on her opinion that he was less qualified. And where did that come from? It doesn't sound like she's was involved in the process, so I'm guessing she's not privy to their resumes, interviews, performance evals, etc. It's a big leap for her to take and I can understand someone perceiving that leap as gender motivated itself.

And seriously? "annoying caucasian charge nurse?" That doesn't compare, unless the OP is a person of color or in a member of a historically subordinated group in some other capacity.

Oh, so it's not discrimination if the target is white and/or male? How about if the target is a male in a profession where men are underrepresented? My guess is you think not, and if so that's very telling. Wake up. As OP said, it's 2010, not 1955.It's no wonder men leave this profession at so much higher a rate then their female peers.

No, you're failing to grasp the extent of your male privilege.

I'm acutely aware of my male privilege, having worked in a male dominated profession for several years before nursing, and I can tell you that it doesn't count for a whole lot in nursing.

Male privilege in a field that is heavily dominated by women. Riiiight. With the ratio of females to males in nursing, the chances are good that a woman put him in the position that he's in. I seriously doubt that if this guy had a "me man, me bash woman over head with club" mentality, that he would be promoted by his female superior. This argument may fly in other fields, but I don't buy it in nursing.

Chauvinists, at least the ones I've had the displeasure of knowing, wouldn't be caught dead in the nursing profession. As a man in our society becoming a nurse is more or less swimming against the current, and I don't see a chauvinist putting up with the kind of sexist BS I had to endure though nursing school, and yes, occasionally in the professional arena as well.

The double standard here dismays me. When I was a firefighter, if I'd said these kinds of things about a female colleague who'd been promoted and anyone at work found out, I would've lost the respect of my peers and been out of a job so fast my head would have spun.

metal_m0nk, BSN, RN · Dec 22, 2010

Chauvinists, at least the ones I've had the displeasure of knowing, wouldn't be caught dead in the nursing profession. As a man in our society becoming a nurse is more or less swimming against the current, and I don't see a chauvinist putting up with the kind of sexist BS I had to endure though nursing school, and yes, occasionally in the professional arena as well.

That is, unless he's a chauvinist with a bit of an inferiority complex....That might explain the passive aggressive/under the radar behavior toward his female staff.

I dunno.

Chauvinist or not, based on the description, the guy sounds like he's on an ego trip.

GM2RN · Dec 22, 2010

I don't think so. There are others that have disagreed with the OP that are female. Again, gender has nothing to do with this particular issue. I'm not sure how I can make folks like you understand. Based on the information that the OP has given, the only person that appears to have gender issues is the OP, not the charge nurse.
The OP has yet to answer whether or not the charge nurse meets the minimum requirements for his position. The OP has yet to answer whether or not the charge nurse treats male nurses differently than female nurses. The OP has made the statement in a recent post that female charge nurses are held to different requirements for promotion, which is ludicrous. The OP makes abstract statements about perceived mistreatments, but does not provide concrete responses to inquiries.
I do not need personal knowledge of the person in question. I am able to form logical opinions based on the information that's been presented. I do not have to defer to the OP's very subjective observations, especially when the OP is not able to answer any questions that probe deeper into the issue at hand.
At this point, I just have to dismiss anyone that blindly agrees with the OP without investigating the issue or that accuses me of bringing gender into the equation when gender was brought into it from post #1.

YOU are the one who said the male nurse's people skills were based on subjective observation, of which the OP is the ony one here to have observed them at all...subjective, objective, or otherwise. But you now want to dismiss her observations and substitute your own speculation and claim it is logic!?!

Now where is that ignore button...

nycjimbo · Dec 22, 2010

thank you for showing mercy and restraint! the guy may have deserved more, but he got enough!

:jester:

Ahhhh, yeeeeeeesssss! Your height is an advantage, use it. I do.
Though I would never do this (often tempted) at work, I will tell you a bar story from years ago just for laughs, when I was in college for my first degree. I was sitting at the bar with some friends male and female. The bar served popcorn and I was also having a draft of beer. This short guy was trying to flirt but chose to be obnoxious and this was bothering me after about 30 minutes of his tossing popcorn into my beer to get my attention. I bought a new beer, and after a while he started this again. Of course I did not speak to him except to say "cut that out!" and continued enjoying my friends.
Well, with me, I will suddenly decide I've had enuf, and end things without negotiation (it's how I roll). So, I suddenly stood up from my bar stool, spun around and picked up my beer cup and raised it as high over his head as my arm could stretch. Towering over the little guy now, I said for all his buddies to hear, "You wanna try to toss popcorn in my drink now? No? I didn't think so" All red-faced and humiliated he left the bar with his pals laughing the whole time. Cruel? yup. Then as a young woman, I realized this power I will always have.

metal_m0nk, BSN, RN · Dec 22, 2010

YOU are the one who said the male nurse's people skills were based on subjective observation, of which the OP is the ony one here to have observed them at all...subjective, objective, or otherwise. But you now want to dismiss her observations and substitute your own speculation and claim it is logic!?!
Now where is that ignore button...

You're right. That is quite a far stretch...

On the topic of the subjective nature of the evaluation of "people skills" - while this guy may have been able to charm his way through the interview process, if he is not able to reconcile the way his staff perceive his people skills, he won't last long. One person is much easier to replace than many - and it sounds as though there are a few others who are more qualified for the position than he is anyhow. In reality, the subjective nature of others' impressions can hold a great deal of weight.

red2003xlt, LPN · Dec 22, 2010

The way you get rid of a chauvinistic ahole is the exact same way to get rid of a executive lazy son/daughter.

Embrassment. Have the wife of the CEO witness the chauvinism and guess what happens. Double points is the daughter of the CEO gets "talked" down too.

Works for lazy sons/daughters too.

JacknSweetpea · Dec 22, 2010

An a** is an a** no matter what's between his/her legs.

patriarchz · Dec 22, 2010

I work with a recently promoted male charge nurse who I would best describe as a clever 'men lead, women follow' type.
He is a second career type with a professional background ....smart and accomplished in areas outside of nursing.... but with only a couple of years of nursing experience.
He was acceptable as a junior staff nurse but loathsome to several of us who picked up upon his poor attitude. Leaving his messy bedspaces for his female coworkers to tidy was standard behaviour. Am quite upset this guy was promoted over-and-above several more experienced others with the same smarts and degree
This guy irritates me . Constant need to 'lead' me despite me having so much more experience and the same BScNursing degree....even as a staff nurse.
He has really stepped over the line a couple of times eg 'look at me when I am talking to you' .... LOL
However he usually knows how to stay within boundaries but at the same time be subtle with his expression of his perceived importance. He alters his body language to do this eg makes sure he is standing up and I'm sitting when he is telling me something.
Or he uses a slightly dismissive tone when I voice my opinion. Or he walks away immediately after saying his piece thus cutting out participation from anyone else.
He is subtle .... but he's clever with it.
He is an evangelical type and I suspect his beliefs are responsible for his offensive 'men lead and women follow' attitude.
But of course he knows he needs to keep religion out of the workplace. Because the moment he brings religion in, we will nail him.
I need to have several effective retorts up my sleeve that allow me to both maintain my self-respect and stay out of my managers office.
Any ideas ??

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately, none of his behavior is illegal. You are, under law, allowed to be a jerk. Now, if his behavior is threatening or somehow inhibits you from feeling safe, then you may have a case. But we all work with jerks who don't deserve their jobs. I agree with the posters who said you need to try and take the high road as much as you can. Sadly, anywhere you go you're gonna have to deal with this.

One thing you mentioned kind of troubles me. I don't know if I misunderstood it, but your comment about "religion in the workplace" and "we will nail him" makes you appear to be discriminitory and stereotyping. Maybe I misunderstood, but it does read that way. I think others may have picked up on this too, but I'm not sure that's what you meant to imply... Maybe it reveals some underlying thoughts you have though. We are free to practice religion in the workplace, and saying things like "I suspect his beliefs are responsible for his offensive 'men lead and women follow' attitude" is no different than someone saying, "I suspect he's tight with his money because he is Jewish" or "he is an alcoholic because he is an Irish Catholic." I mean this with respect, but it looks like the stereotyping might go both ways (even if his is much more blatant.)

I hope you're able to work things out with him. I bet if you pulled him aside and gently told him, "hey (insert name), I don't know if you mean to do this, but when you talk to me like that it's very demeaning. I would appreciate it if you didn't do that anymore." If a number of coworkers did that to him over time, I'm sure it'd sink in. Good luck. Take the high road!

Katie5 · Dec 22, 2010

I need to have several effective retorts up my sleeve that allow me to both maintain my self-respect and stay out of my managers office.
Any ideas ??

That's the solution?Retorts? :eek: There's got to be a better way- we should brainstorm.