Handling chauvinistic male charge nurse

[pedicurn]

I work with a recently promoted male charge nurse who I would best describe as a clever 'men lead, women follow' type.

He is a second career type with a professional background ....smart and accomplished in areas outside of nursing.... but with only a couple of years of nursing experience.

He was acceptable as a junior staff nurse but loathsome to several of us who picked up upon his poor attitude. Leaving his messy bedspaces for his female coworkers to tidy was standard behaviour. Am quite upset this guy was promoted over-and-above several more experienced others with the same smarts and degree

This guy irritates me . Constant need to 'lead' me despite me having so much more experience and the same BScNursing degree....even as a staff nurse.

He has really stepped over the line a couple of times eg 'look at me when I am talking to you' .... LOL

However he usually knows how to stay within boundaries but at the same time be subtle with his expression of his perceived importance. He alters his body language to do this eg makes sure he is standing up and I'm sitting when he is telling me something.

Or he uses a slightly dismissive tone when I voice my opinion. Or he walks away immediately after saying his piece thus cutting out participation from anyone else.

He is subtle .... but he's clever with it.

He is an evangelical type and I suspect his beliefs are responsible for his offensive 'men lead and women follow' attitude.

But of course he knows he needs to keep religion out of the workplace. Because the moment he brings religion in, we will nail him.

I need to have several effective retorts up my sleeve that allow me to both maintain my self-respect and stay out of my managers office.

Any ideas ??

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

One thing you mentioned kind of troubles me. I don't know if I misunderstood it, but your comment about "religion in the workplace" and "we will nail him" makes you appear to be discriminitory and stereotyping. Maybe I misunderstood, but it does read that way. I think others may have picked up on this too, but I'm not sure that's what you meant to imply... Maybe it reveals some underlying thoughts you have though. We are free to practice religion in the workplace, and saying things like "I suspect his beliefs are responsible for his offensive 'men lead and women follow' attitude" is no different than someone saying, "I suspect he's tight with his money because he is Jewish" or "he is an alcoholic because he is an Irish Catholic." I mean this with respect, but it looks like the stereotyping might go both ways (even if his is much more blatant.)

The religion thing was only mentioned as it is a likely rationale for his thinking ie ' I'm a male and therefore the natural order is for me to lead' kinda thing.

This is my hunch. I know he is a hard core evangelical and I suspect this may be the case. However he may just be a chauvinist?

Or even just a jerk on an ego trip?

He is allowed to think it ...but never say it. He is not allowed to allow these alleged personal views determine action ... if he does, then he wanders over into things illegal.

I work in Australia and we take gender bias seriously.

What I meant by 'nailing' is that we will go after gender bias

[Katie5]

The religion thing was only mentioned as it is a likely rationale for his thinking ie ' I'm a male and therefore the natural order is for me to lead' kinda thing.

This is my hunch. I know he is a hard core evangelical and I suspect this may be the case. However he may just be a chauvinist?

Or even just a jerk on an ego trip?

He is allowed to think it ...but never say it. He is not allowed to allow these alleged personal views determine action ... if he does, then he wanders over into things illegal.

I work in Australia and we take gender bias seriously.

What I meant by 'nailing' is that we will go after gender bias

You're backtracking and not in a very nice way- you mentioned "nailing" him and religion in the same breath.Wherefrom did nailing him on gender bias come?

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

You're backtracking and not in a very nice way- you mentioned "nailing" him and religion in the same breath.Wherefrom did nailing him on gender bias come?

In my first post.

I am not backtracking .... gender bias is inappropriate and should be stopped.

'Nailing' refers to reporting him ... perhaps I should have used a different expression???

.... reporting him and hoping he is severely punished, would do.

I work in a state hospital. Religion in the workplace is not allowed. We are required to be very circumspect with any behaviour that risks an association with religion

[Cul2]

I've read this thread carefully. Frankly, I'm amazed it has remained as civil as it has. Gender is not an easy subject to discuss in society. My opinion -- DonaldJ and Mike A. Fungin RN (and some others) have it right on. Is this a gender issue? How could it not be when we're dealing with a profession that leans 95 percent toward one gender? There are a lot of gender issues, not only in nursing, but in many other professions. How would a thread go if some military men were complaining about a female army officer who got promoted over some men whom they considered as or more qualified -- and behaved as the OP is suggesting this individual is behaving? Would that be a gender issue? Don't think that doesn't happen. In situations like this, where we readers will never really know the inside information about this guy -- I think it's important that the major gender really listen to the comments of feelings of the minority gender in this profession. I'm not saying they're always right on every count. But they are expressing a frustration that you don't often hear or read about within nursing. Male nurses are trying to exist in a female dominated culture. Some do it quite successfully. Some struggle at it. Others leave. But if this guy the OP is writing about is just a jerk, not sexist, then, well...how many of us have never worked with a jerk supervisor before? Not many, if you've had any experience at all. You learn to work with him. If he crosses the line, you nail him -- but you don't create an unhealthy working culture by taking the attitude that you're out to get him, you're going to nail him one way or the other. I must say, though, that I think the discussion is very enlightening and interesting and revealing, as long as it can be kept civil.

[patriarchz]

In my first post.

I am not backtracking .... gender bias is inappropriate and should be stopped.

'Nailing' refers to reporting him ... perhaps I should have used a different expression???

.... reporting him and hoping he is severely punished, would do.

I work in a state hospital. Religion in the workplace is not allowed. We are required to be very circumspect with any behaviour that risks an association with religion

I didn't realize you worked in Australia. I have no idea what is legal and illegal there, so my comments reflect what is legal in the United States. In America we are free to think/act/believe according to our religion in any setting, including the workplace.

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

I've read this thread carefully. Frankly, I'm amazed it has remained as civil as it has. Gender is not an easy subject to discuss in society. My opinion -- DonaldJ and Mike A. Fungin RN (and some others) have it right on. Is this a gender issue? How could it not be when we're dealing with a profession that leans 95 percent toward one gendert

. If he crosses the line, you nail him -- but you don't create an unhealthy working culture by taking the attitude that you're out to get him, you're going to nail him one way or the other. I must say, though, that I think the discussion is very enlightening and interesting and revealing, as long as it can be kept civil.

Males are a minority in many nursing areas ... however it doesn't mean that gender bias cannot exist

Re the remark about creating an unhealthy culture ..... you are jumping to conclusions.

Are professionals not allowed to raise the subject for fear of being criticised for creating unhealthy culture ?

At this point ... the only person who is creating unhealthy culture is him.

I do agree with you on this point though ... really an enlightening subject

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

I didn't realize you worked in Australia. I have no idea what is legal and illegal there, so my comments reflect what is legal in the United States. In America we are free to think/act/believe according to our religion in any setting, including the workplace.

Surely not if those beliefs contribute to discriminatory behaviour ???

[patriarchz]

Surely not if those beliefs contribute to discriminatory behaviour ???

Discriminatory behavior is illegal and inappropriate, your religious beliefs are not. Subtle difference, but an important one. Even if your beliefs lead you to inappropriate behavior, it is the behavior that is on trial, not the beliefs. (At least in America :) )

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

Discriminatory behavior is illegal and inappropriate, your religious beliefs are not. Subtle difference, but an important one. Even if your beliefs lead you to inappropriate behavior, it is the behavior that is on trial, not the beliefs. (At least in America :) )

Exactly ... even if the religion leads to some inappropriate thoughts and beliefs ...it's not an issue

However the moment those beliefs contribute to inappropriate behaviour .... the behaviour is the issue.

We are not free to practice our religion in the public hospital system in Australia.

Religion is considered a private matter.

An exception would be catholic hospitals where a nurse might pray with a p't, crucifixes are on the walls etc.

[greenfiremajick]

i do agree with this.

and if that doesn't work, kick him in the knees.

leslie

I say go for the ankles...................

[GHGoonette, BSN, RN]

Dear me, what happened here? You guys been carrying on hammer and tongs all through the South African night? While I was sleeping....?

I'm not going to comment on every post that caught my eye, neither will I quote or multi-quote them-I'll be here all day if I do

However, just to address the gist of the OP's original statement. If anyone, male or female, spoke to me while I was busy with my work, and had the cheek to tell me "look at me when I'm speaking to you," they would find me not only facing them but in their face. No-one addresses me as if I were a schoolchild in a classroom, and that is a lesson this charge nurse, regardless of gender, needs to learn.

If he was regarded as obnoxious by his colleagues before being promoted, this question must be asked; what the h*ll was management thinking of to promote him in the first place? Anyone placed in a position of responsibility must at least have the professional respect of his or her peers, and if they did not investigate this before promoting him, their own management skills need to be examined.

DonaldJ, I agree with you that assertiveness is not only desirable in a leader, but is an essential quality in all good managers, upper, mid and lower; however, when it crosses over into arrogance and petty tyranny, then you do end up with a "little Hitler", which is highly undesirable! Talking down to your juniors is the worst kind of management practice....respect is a two-way street. From that point of view, the OP has very good reason to criticize this guy.

OP, if there is a case for discrimination, then those who were passed over for promotion have every right to launch a grievance against management. As you were not one of those who applied, you do not fall into that category. Now, there are numerous ways this scenario could play out; those passed over could be successful in their grievance, resulting in his demotion and the appointment of another person to the post; he could overstep the boundaries and be the subject of an investigation of his management style; or neither of these might happen and you might find yourself stuck with him. It may be that he will grow into the post and become a good leader, but that will only happen if he has a lesson in humility. So don't clean up after him, call him back to the tearoom and tell him you are nurses, not housekeepers; you don't care what his mother or his wife does for him, he's not at home; he picks up after himself. Never allow him to talk to you in a condescending manner; point out to him that if he wants your respect as a professional, then he will address you with professional respect. Treat him as he treats you-I love that post about walking away when he's talking to you! Talk about highlighting his faults...!

One word about arrogant people; they can be arrogant, but they'd better make d**n sure they have something to be arrogant about! I don't tolerate that kind of attitude in an a**hole.

Finally, I have the privilege of working with some truly awesome male nurses, and I must say that I have never encountered what you describe. I have always found it a pleasure working with guys, but I suppose there have to be some bad apples out there...

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

Dear me, what happened here? You guys been carrying on hammer and tongs all through the South African night? While I was sleeping....?

Christine, have I told you lately that I love you? I just knew there would be a pot of gold at the end of this, um, rainbow, and it was your post!