Story time! And the grosser, the better. Kudos to the first person who makes me throw up a bit in my mouth.
My story - I'm a burn nurse, relatively new. Anyway. I'm helping with a dressing change on a massive (90%+) burn who was also massively fluid resuscitated. Basically, that means that this guy is putting out gallons of insensible fluid loss. Plus skin sloughing. Picture this thick, partially congealed grey-brown liquid - like a poorly made Thanksgiving gravy - that is just sitting in the patient's bed.
Now, we do dressing changes in water proof gowns, hair nets, gloves (duh), and masks for a reason.
So we're turning the guy and, of course, a wave of fluid flows over the bed, coating my shoes and advancing upwards to soak through my scrub pants. I'm in the room for about an hour like that. We're almost done, turning the poor guy butt-towards me, when he starts to liquid stool everywhere. ("Burn poop.") It hits the wall behind me. I duck, manage to only get poop in my hair net. However, the turn buddy on my side who was holding up the patient's leg....drops said leg in order to get out of the way. Splat. (Splash?) I ended up getting a tidal wave of burn goo ALL OVER MY FACE. None in my mouth, thankfully.
Thank goodness for lock rooms and showers.
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I don't have a good poop one, but I got a good bloody one! When I was in nursing school I was in the pre-op for surgery helping all the patients get ready, and this one nurse couldn't stick a patient, so they called me in to see if I could get it to get experience on a hard stick. Well, I got it!!!!! But being inexperienced I didn't check to see if all the equipment was there, and so I ended up not having anything to start the iv but the needle that was already threaded. While I was trying to get the stuff, the patient was bleeding ALL OVER THE PLACE! And guess who had their ungloved hands cupped catching all the blood...the NURSE!!!!!!! They told me, "I can do that baby, I'm old school". I was totally grossed out!!!!! They were holding two hands full of blood, it was all down our scrub pants, on our shoes, on the floor, on the sheets, bed rails, top cover, call bell, I mean everywhere; even though I was pressing on the vein. The blood was okay, but the ungloved hands full of blood freaked me out for life. I left there totally baffled that day!
Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.
I once had a pt with a newly placed rectal tube on nights that had an abdominal x ray at the begining of my shift. The Md found me in report and told me the tech said it was slightly curled and to pull it out about a half inch or so to help uncurl it.
Once I'm out of report, I head to the room to fix the tube. I have a CNA on the other side who rolled the pt over. As I go to gently pull back, the ENTIRE tube came out along with exploding gas, and liquid stool. It came out like a spray bottle on steriods and hit me from mid hip to upper chest, with a few splatters on my face. I stood there stunned and the CNA was horrified.
I later found out the tech had fixed the tubing but the MD assumed it still had to be corrected.
Needless to say, the supervisor had to go to OR for some scrubs and I hit the showers. UGH..
Story time! And the grosser, the better. Kudos to the first person who makes me throw up a bit in my mouth.
My story - I'm a burn nurse, relatively new. Anyway. I'm helping with a dressing change on a massive (90%+) burn who was also massively fluid resuscitated. Basically, that means that this guy is putting out gallons of insensible fluid loss. Plus skin sloughing. Picture this thick, partially congealed grey-brown liquid - like a poorly made Thanksgiving gravy - that is just sitting in the patient's bed.
Now, we do dressing changes in water proof gowns, hair nets, gloves (duh), and masks for a reason.
So we're turning the guy and, of course, a wave of fluid flows over the bed, coating my shoes and advancing upwards to soak through my scrub pants. I'm in the room for about an hour like that. We're almost done, turning the poor guy butt-towards me, when he starts to liquid stool everywhere. ("Burn poop.") It hits the wall behind me. I duck, manage to only get poop in my hair net. However, the turn buddy on my side who was holding up the patient's leg....drops said leg in order to get out of the way. Splat. (Splash?) I ended up getting a tidal wave of burn goo ALL OVER MY FACE. None in my mouth, thankfully.
Thank goodness for lock rooms and showers.
This is still the WINNER in my book.
Everyone poops (and seeminly 90% of them play in it), but Burn Slime? Ewww.
I don't know why gross made me think of smells, but the Grossest thing (made me pass out) was in nsg school. Anyone who has read a few of my posts, know that OB is not or never will be my strong suit.
Wanna really throw of my ED Vibe, bring me in a fully dialated pregnant patient!
Anyway, being a "male nurse", I had really hoped I would be banned from every birth, and they would eventually let me pass this part of school without having to go through this "rite of passage!" No Such Luck, a 22 year old said, "No I don't mind, He can watch, . . .Is he a High School Student?" I nearly fainted then, so you know it wasn't going to take much.
The worst part was, the way the nurses and PCTs aranged the furniture, I got trapped in the back corner of the room, and that feeling of, No matter what I am stuck/Caged-in here, added to the lightheadedness.
I did fine throughout the birth, . . .even got all "just-saw-a-miracle, gushy."
Then it happened, . . .I don't know why after all that studying, I wasn't prepared for the afterbirth! The sound the placenta and all the other stuff made when it hit this plastic reservoir bag was all it took, I felt the room spinning like a child's top, I slid down the wall, and . . .lights out. The baby was perfectly healthy, the mother was fine, (I jumped back up real quick, and refused help (didn't want to spoil the moment), I just said, "I just need a sip of water if I can move this Chair and side table to get out."
One of the PCTs followed me out with her hand on my back, My face was red and hot to the touch from embarrassment, she was laughing so hard, she couldn't even get out, "Are you ok?" I thought everyone would find out, and I'd be escorted out of the School of Nursing by rock throwing instructors, . . but my awesome instructor gave me a pass, and never breathed a word, I only had to witness that one birth.
Now countless births later in ER, I get tickled thinking of that sheltered 18 yr old boy witnessing a birth, and passing out against the back corner of the birthing suite.
My Hats Of To All OBGYN RNs LPNs PCTs CNAs and MD/DO OBGYNs!!!! You do a great service to Mankind!
Bostonterrier - having delivered a baby and a placenta, I can say the placenta was pretty gross from that aspect too. With my second child, who was 9.5lbs and natural I dreaded the placenta more than anything else.
The eye story would have to be the one that got to me - i hate anything having to do with eyes.
My grossest story as a new grad would have to have been packing a pilonidal cyst post-surgery. I did not see what it looked like before surgery but afterwards it was cut like a jackolatern ragged smile vertically about 8" long. The cavity was HUGE - you could have easily have fit a basketball in it. I remember having to reach in and hold it open while my preceptor packed it with rolls and rolls and rolls and rolls of kerlix.
Also having to change a wound vac that went down to the intestines - I didn't know the patient, diagnosis, etc. I was just there because I knew how to change a wound vac. The pt had no abdominal skin, muscle, fascia... trying to change the vac all I remember is how she had open areas on her intestines and they kept stooling liquid green stool almost constantly and having to try to clean it off while trying to get the foam ready, the smell was horrendous and I think it took over an hour to complete the vac change.
There was this frequent flier patient who had a trach. She left our ICU and went for this long term vent unit at this nursing home that was known to be gross. Well, one night the nurse comes running out of the room panicking. Hundreds of maggots crawling out of her trach and her nose. I couldn't go in, I was ready to throw up. The house doctor went in and said he never saw a maggot infestation to that extreme. The RT just kept suctioning them out. eventually they were gone.
The guy who liked to dig the poo out of his butt and paint the walls with it too was pretty gross.
Yeah, I have to say I am pretty much on board with the "sex via stoma" story being quite possibly the foulest thing I have ever heard, and yes you need to tell us the others!
The worst ick I can think of- nasty, intimidating nurse educator, condescendingly assisting new grad to suction a trachy full of green sputum and from the sound of it, a good plug. New grad eagerly trying to please educator, encouraging pt. to cough. He had a really good hack and that bloodstained, green plug of pus/mucous/sputum came flying out of his trachy straight into the nurse educators' open mouth- karma is karma. We had to leave the room gagging, she left for the day, true story.
My most recent ick, lady who weighs 250 odd kilograms- respiratory failure, a bit of APO. This woman has a stick with a plastic gripper on the end to wipe herself with after she goes to the toilet because she can't reach given her size. She also tells us that for convenience, she has a piece of twine suspended in the bathroom which she simply straddles post void to wipe. Two patient support officers on each leg and two nurses for the folds to assist me to (urinary) catheterise this woman. When the curtains were open the smell was so foul I almost couldn't do it. A faceful of that vag at 730am was not a great way to start the day (got it in first go though).
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Viva, if the sex via stoma is only in your top 3, you have to tell us what the other two are.
OK.......just remember, you asked for it!
The other two happened to deal with the same patient. Now, eye stuff and open wounds where you can see to the bone are pretty bad where I'm concerned, but the two combined are absolutely revolting. :barf01:
This poor fellow with oral cancer was admitted to the LTC I was working in fresh out of nursing school. The CA and subsequent surgery had literally robbed him of the entire left side of his face......it was like his head had been cut in half. I mean, you could see all the way through to his sinus cavities, which had to be sprayed with normal saline every 2 hours around the clock to prevent them from drying out. On top of that, he had an artificial eye that had to be taken out at night, which meant reaching into the cavern of his eye socket (where it was all squishy---{shudder}) and scooping it out, then washing it and putting it in a denture cup.
Then he got a cold that progressed to a sinus infection. Pseudomonas, it was, which as we all know smells something like a locker room full of dirty socks. Oh, Lord, that was one of about a thousand memories I wish I didn't have.....we actually had to swab the thick green mucus out of his face and then spray the normal saline, which made him sneeze. And when he sneezed, it went EVERYWHERE. Including all over my face and in my eyes.
And THAT, dear friends, tops even the stoma-sex story for me. In two seconds, I'm gonna throw up!!
One night I was working with one of my very good friends at work who is also an aide, she had previously worked in a nursing home and LOVED taking care of her pleasantly confused LOL dementia pts. She normally would make them milk shakes out of milk and vanilla ice cream cups we keep in our unit nutrition room and so she did for her confused LOL that night. She comes back to check on the pt and the lady had drank the shake, had diarrhea, scooped up the diarrhea with her cup and drank it. It took us forever to get it cleaned out of her mouth because she kept biting the sponge tips off of the mouth swabs we were using... lol YIKES!
:barf01:
inchRistIcaN
14 Posts
I don't have a good poop one, but I got a good bloody one! When I was in nursing school I was in the pre-op for surgery helping all the patients get ready, and this one nurse couldn't stick a patient, so they called me in to see if I could get it to get experience on a hard stick. Well, I got it!!!!! But being inexperienced I didn't check to see if all the equipment was there, and so I ended up not having anything to start the iv but the needle that was already threaded. While I was trying to get the stuff, the patient was bleeding ALL OVER THE PLACE! And guess who had their ungloved hands cupped catching all the blood...the NURSE!!!!!!! They told me, "I can do that baby, I'm old school". I was totally grossed out!!!!! They were holding two hands full of blood, it was all down our scrub pants, on our shoes, on the floor, on the sheets, bed rails, top cover, call bell, I mean everywhere; even though I was pressing on the vein. The blood was okay, but the ungloved hands full of blood freaked me out for life. I left there totally baffled that day!