Gross Things Patients Do

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I have seen some pretty questionable activity by patients, but this one got me. It also got me wondering: What other disgusting things do patients do?

I had a patient with a large pannus riddled with open sores that were positive for MRSA. As I'm cleaning them she kept poking her fingers in them. "This one (squish!) popped up about 2 weeks ago, and this one (poke!) about a week ago..." Ugh. I advise her not to touch the open wounds...and move along. I apply the ordered Medihoney and turn my head to get the dry drsg, when, out of the corner of my eye I see her put her finger in her mouth and (gleefully) exclaim "It DOES taste like honey! I wonder if you could eat it?..." Urp! Ralph! I tell her that while you can TECHNICALLY eat anything you can put in your mouth, it's probably not a good idea, finish up and quickly leave. Shaking my head. People never cease to amaze (and disgust) me.

Specializes in retired LTC.

Surely some blue ribbon gag-worthy contenders here for top prize!!!

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Pt had a clogged trach. He takes it out and licks it clean, and sucks out the clog like its a damn milkshake. I even said "what the hell" and he said thats how he always does it at home.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's where I stop reading this thread. OMG. *heave*

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

I've got a strong stomach, but that trach story made me want to yak. Gross!!!

My disgusting-patient story goes like this: I had a very obese, incontinent pt. who had lost her bottom dentures. Couldn't find them anywhere. It was time to change her incontinence pad and I laid her on her side and asked her to hang onto the rail while I wiped her. Guess where I found the dentures? Yep---buried deep in her right buttock. She was delighted and promptly popped them back in her mouth before I could get her cleaned up. Blech.

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:roflmao: OMG I'm crying!

Myself, probably the grossest I've encountered (which really pales in comparison to most of the above stories, dang guys!), was a woman so frustrated with her constipation that she attempted to disimpact herself. It didn't really work, and her fingernails were so warped and brittle and jagged that cleaning them thoroughly afterwards was a nightmare.

Omg, I don't think your horror story pales in comparison at ALL! I truly do not think I could have sat there and dug feces out of her fingernails!!! You're a saint, lol! Shudders....

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It always grosses me out when patients choose to keep their urinal on top of the bedside table right next to their food and drinks. Convenient, yes. Sanitary, no.

Oh, what's wrong with the urinal centerpiece?(sarcasm).

I have had patients confuse their pitchers for urinals at times. It's a bit of a shocker when I go to pour "water" for morning meds...whoops! Let me pitch this and get a new one. I'll be right back!

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My top gagworthy story I can remember occurred years ago on a med surg floor. I went to feed my total care patient and while he was eating he reached his hand out from under the covers, full of poop, and proceeded to give himself a truely organic facial, rubbing it all over his face. I didn't realize what he was doing at first, then...."oh no! Don't do that, you'll get pink eye!" Was the best I could blurt out. Ran, grabbed gloves and washcloths...breakfast is over, it's bath time!

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Specializes in Hospice, Geri, Psych and SA,.

During my first year as a nurse I admitted a female patient with a history severe mental illness to a med/surg floor. They had ordered a Foley cath to be inserted and as I was cleaning her peri area I noticed something protruding from her lady parts. I removed what appeared to be a partially eaten bologna sandwich and it had been down there for a while, the stench was horrendous. I asked the patient why she had placed it there and she told me matter of fact, "To keep it warm for later."

I about lost my lunch.

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HAHAHA THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE!! Soo nasty but true!

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
While working as a community nurse for a mental health clinic, some staff and clients were sitting around a therapist's office just having a friendly little discourse. One elderly client pulled out her top dentures, ran her finger around the palate indentation, scraped off some residue, popped her finger into her mouth and proclaimed, "Ummmmm! Mashed potatoes!"

Noncompliant patient on a fluid restriction. Found him in bathroom drinking from toilet. Why didn't he just use the sink you ask? Because we stood outside the door and could hear the water running was his response.

Been there. Seen that. Made the cartoon.

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Specializes in ICU.

I am so nauseous now, and I only read a few. I think I am going to throw up....

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Specializes in LTC.

After reading some of these, I shudder to think what people do when we're NOT looking...

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Specializes in ED.

:wideyed:I have a solid stomach but that made me uncomfortable lol:roflmao::spit:

I think it made my stomach flip\

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