Got my 1st butt chewing today - humiliating!

Nurses General Nursing

Published

First let me say that I work in a L/D-PP-NSY unit in a rural hospital. We only have 2 OB's and I like them both very much. I had been warned about one of them - how he was practically bi-polar - and I have seen a few of his mood swings, but he has always been extremely nice to me - he's always joking - even when I call him in the middle of the night - so up to this point I have really loved my job! I've even commented that our low pay is compensated by a good working environment, and awesome physicians who treat us with respect. ...... well my little bubble was somewhat deflated this morning. Keep in mind - our unit is a combo unit, where I not only triage/labor - I also take care of PP, and assist in the nursery when needed. Last night I had a pt at 39 wk who was contracting somewhat irregular, with no cervical change after a couple of hrs, and so we sent her home Well, as I am giving report to my relief RN, she shows up with SROM. Because the RN that was relieving me was going to be the only one for OB/PP and her LPN was stuck in the Nsy with a baby on O2 - and had a scheduled C/S, I volunteered to stay and get the new patient admitted, orders done, etc... until the nurse we called in arrives. Well, I phoned the doc at 7:15 to inform him of patients return, and status and received the order to admit & pit & can start prepping her for epidural. So, as soon as I finish report - maybe less than 5 min, I started the process - which is alot - you know consents, Labs, IV starts, answering questions, etc.....Mixing antibiotics/pitocin/hyrating for epidural/giving pain meds, while anwering phone, dealing with the floor patients families questions, & had to give a few pain meds to floor patients while I am rushing to do all of this. Well.... to try to make a long story short - my relief shows up - it is now 8:20 - I am giving her report and in walks the doc. As I am telling her that he wants her to have pitocin - and was handing it to her - he lays into to me. Now we are standing at the nurses station which is about 12 ft from patients rooms, the cleaning lady is there, my relief nurse is there, and he chews me out thouroughly because I do not have the pit going - because he has to leave town at 10 am. Now this is a G1P1 who when she returned had progressed to 4/80/-1 on her own, and was ctx - although still somewhat irregular - q2-3 minutes. When he checked her a few minutes later she was 4.5/90/0 - so it wasn't like she was actually going to NEED pitocin to progress anyway. It was all about he needed her delivered before 10. He proceeded to state very loudly that the order was given at 7:15 am, and he expected me to start pit THEN, and he should not have to call the unit to see if I'm actually FOLLOWING his orders, because he just ASSUMED that I would do what he ordered - because he had REASONS he gives me orders, and It's my place to follow those orders, then he started blabbing about a study that shows if you admit a patient at 5cm, start pit 6x6, then they have blah blah blah (can't really remember what he said at this point) - then he said furthermore, I am the one with the DEGREE! (This last sentence is the one that got me!!) Then plopped the chart down walked off. OK now I am standing there - humiliated beyond all measure. My relief nurse had grabbed the bag of pit before he got done with his lecture, and promptly went to hang it - the cleaning lady was looking at me with sympathy - I was speechless. I sat down to chart everything that I had done for the patient so that I could actually go home, seeing how I had already stayed 1.5 hrs over to help - and he KNOWS I am staying late because our schedules are fixed - I am always on nights - and plus I had been the one to call him at 3 am. I had not sat down since that patient arrived, as I was rushing to get as much done as I could to help, and did not sit twiddling my thumbs saying, hmmm.....I don't think I'll start pit, because I don't think she needs it - because I am smarter than said doc - uh, NO. There is a process - that takes time. If he had said on the phone I am needing to leave town at 10am, so can you speed things along, then yes, maybe I would have been able to gotten things done a little faster by spending less time during consents explaining, and answering questions, etc... I just don't know! After he checked the patient, he comes back to the nurses station as I am charting, and asks me a few questions so he could fill in his progress notes, and as he gets up to leave, he pats me on the back and says "Thanks for your help - I'm not mad at you - I just needed you to really get this one going" - well, I could not even respond at this point because I have tears threatening to spill, and I'll be darned if I'm going to let him see me cry. I held it together by not talking to anyone - except to say goodbye at 9 am. I cried when I was in the privacy of my car. I cried when I was trying to go to sleep. I'm mad at him for being unprofessional, and repremanding me in front of my co-workers, and anyone else who walked by. I'm mad at myself for allowing him to humiliate me - I always swore I would walk away and if they had anything to say to me - they could come to me in private. I'm made that I could not control my tears, and speak back to him when he tried to half-A$$ apologize to me - believe me I had words I wanted to say. I'm mad that my skin is not tougher - that I have cried over this, and allowed it to upset me.

I guess I am fortunate that this is my first chewing, but I feel that although he did have a legitimate complaint - that I was taking a little too long - the manner in which is handled it was totally inappropriate.

Does it get easier? Does your skin ever grow thicker? I know the next time he sees me - he will be back to normal, and will act as if nothing ever happened, but I'm afraid I'm will not be so eager to resume our "friendly" conversations. I have decided in my mind that it will be business only - I will say what I need to say in regards to patient care, and refrain from carrying on with his constant joking, long conversations regarding his son's wakeboarding events, pretending interest in his rock-climbing stories. Ya know? Does this make me immature? I will not be rude or disrespectful, I just have no desire to be "personable" to him. :madface:

Sorry this is sooo long! I am one of those people who need to VENT to get things off my chest. I am still hurt. When in nursing school, I witnessed a doc chewing out an ICU nurse - in FRONT of the patient, all of us nursing students as well as her co-workers - and saw her later in the hallway crying, and being consoled.... that made a huge impression on me, and I can't believe I endured the same thing this morning. Somehow - I think I need a raise - LOL. My lovely working environment now longer compensates for the poor wages ! LOL

What makes me mad - is I have uttered these very words from my mouth (after witnessing what I did in nursing school) and WHAT did I do? Stand and look him in the eye, and apologize, and fight back tears. I'm mad at myself as much as I'm mad at him!!

No need, tell him you were not aware it was two for one day on a** h**** at the supermarket. Really, what is the big bad doctor going to do? He puts a hand on you, and he spends a night in jail, then has to explain in court why he assaulted a nurse. Then, you can put those tears to good work. I figure, he will back off real quick once you explain it these terms.

I understand other people may disagree with my stance; however, you let a bully get his/her way, and they will continue to push you around. Even more so in some cases.

I had many of the same problems as a new nurse. Then, I remember seeing this old battle axe of a nurse get yelled at by a surgeon. She, turned around and in front of every body yelled back, you arrogant *****, get the hell out of my ER." You know, direct confrontation works really well. Even better, when your fellow nurses have your back. (They should have your back IMHO.)

Well, as bad as I hate to admit it - you are probably right. My problem with having a talk with him - is I'm afraid that my emotions might pop back up, and I do not want to appear emotional in front of him. Now I am not a "crying" person - I barely cry at funerals - sometimes don't, some people think I'm non-emotional - most people think I'm a strong/tough person because I handle situations when others are falling apart - that I'm able to be strong, but it's weird that in situations such as this - I can't seem to control when unbidden tears will threaten to fall. I will have to be pretty far removed from the situation to where I am no longer emotionally affected - when it no longer seems like a big deal - to feel safe to do this. Guess I'll have to wait and see. I just HATE confrontations!

I completely know what you mean. I despise confrontations! I don't know if I could take my own adivce, but I really think you could get your self respect back by just saying one simple, calm sentence. Then you could turn on your heel before you well up.

I'm just wondering why any nurse should feel or be made to feel it's her responsibility to worry about the doctor's schedule anyway.

HE"S the one getting paid big bucks.

Not saying that nurses should delay following orders, and I'm not saying you did so, but his schedule shouldn't even come into the picture. Period.

His out of town appointments are his problem, not the nurse's and not the patient's..

JMHO.....After all I'm only an LPN and don't even work in a hospital where it's so busy but we do have two docs to contend with, one of which can be quite cranky at times.

After all doctors are the same everywhere...some are jerks and some are decent.

I think I'd have been tempted to ask him "Who gives a flying leep about your schedule? I'm doing the best I can."

I'd have probably gotten in trouble, my mouth does that to me quite often.

Specializes in oncology, trauma, home health.
No need, tell him you were not aware it was two for one day on a** h**** at the supermarket. Really, what is the big bad doctor going to do? He puts a hand on you, and he spends a night in jail, then has to explain in court why he assaulted a nurse. Then, you can put those tears to good work. I figure, he will back off real quick once you explain it these terms.

I understand other people may disagree with my stance; however, you let a bully get his/her way, and they will continue to push you around. Even more so in some cases.

I had many of the same problems as a new nurse. Then, I remember seeing this old battle axe of a nurse get yelled at by a surgeon. She, turned around and in front of every body yelled back, you arrogant *****, get the hell out of my ER." You know, direct confrontation works really well. Even better, when your fellow nurses have your back. (They should have your back IMHO.)

I want to be that old battle axe nurse!!! That is so invigorating to read!

Specializes in OB/PP/Nsy.

Can you write down the events, what what said, and report this guy to someone?

.

This is not something I would do - and I KNOW it just lets him get by with this behaviour. BUT, we are a small hospital, this doctor is someone I have to deal with on a daily basis, and BECAUSE he "likes" me, this is the first time he's acted this way toward me. IF I ticked him off, he could make my life miserable. Our administration is a joke, and making a report would only make matters worse. From what I've heard - most everyone has experienced something similar to this at some point in their career in this department, and it's like - you just learn to pick up on his cue's when he's "in a mood", and to know when to be agressive getting a patient ready. I've been warned, I've just personally never experienced it. I have no desire to make him mad, I know if I did write him up, that it would only bite me, so my only option is to hang loose, and when I'm far removed from the incident - try to speak with him. I am not promoting his behaviour by not addressing it - I'm protecting my working evironment/working relationships - because I desire to stay in this department. Not that he would get me fired - he would just be unpleasant to work with, and I don't want to have to come into work dreading seeing him. I have to look at this fact that 90% of the time - he treats me totally awesome! I've actually enjoyed learning from him, he's very teaching, and usually very fun to labor with, but this dark side......ummmm, another story!

Specializes in ICU/CCU/Oncology/CSU/Managed Care/ Case Management.

That is unfortunate that jerk had to take out his crummy day on you!!:devil:

You went beyond what you had to so you could provide adequate and safe care for that patient.

IF that should ever happen again make sure you address it at that present time as calm as you can. Do not show fear--and for him to state he has a degree--the only degree it seems that he knows how to display is that he is an Mundane Dumba***(MD) That is the only recognition of and MD he deserves!! These docs need to realize we are there eyes and ears and they need training on how to be courteous to our profession if not one day they may have to mix and hang their own pitocin---Think about it!!!

Grab yourself a nice warm drink, :smiletea2:relax, put your feet up and give yourself a great hug because you are a FABULOUS nurse!! Happy New Year chica!!;)

This is not something I would do - and I KNOW it just lets him get by with this behaviour. BUT, we are a small hospital, this doctor is someone I have to deal with on a daily basis, and BECAUSE he "likes" me, this is the first time he's acted this way toward me. IF I ticked him off, he could make my life miserable. Our administration is a joke, and making a report would only make matters worse. From what I've heard - most everyone has experienced something similar to this at some point in their career in this department, and it's like - you just learn to pick up on his cue's when he's "in a mood", and to know when to be agressive getting a patient ready. I've been warned, I've just personally never experienced it. I have no desire to make him mad, I know if I did write him up, that it would only bite me, so my only option is to hang loose, and when I'm far removed from the incident - try to speak with him. I am not promoting his behaviour by not addressing it - I'm protecting my working evironment/working relationships - because I desire to stay in this department. Not that he would get me fired - he would just be unpleasant to work with, and I don't want to have to come into work dreading seeing him. I have to look at this fact that 90% of the time - he treats me totally awesome! I've actually enjoyed learning from him, he's very teaching, and usually very fun to labor with, but this dark side......ummmm, another story!

I agree with you on this. The reason for my previous suggestion is that it will give you your self respect back and maybe make the situation more "normal" going forward.

This is not something I would do - and I KNOW it just lets him get by with this behaviour. BUT, we are a small hospital, this doctor is someone I have to deal with on a daily basis, and BECAUSE he "likes" me, this is the first time he's acted this way toward me. IF I ticked him off, he could make my life miserable. Our administration is a joke, and making a report would only make matters worse. From what I've heard - most everyone has experienced something similar to this at some point in their career in this department, and it's like - you just learn to pick up on his cue's when he's "in a mood", and to know when to be agressive getting a patient ready. I've been warned, I've just personally never experienced it. I have no desire to make him mad, I know if I did write him up, that it would only bite me, so my only option is to hang loose, and when I'm far removed from the incident - try to speak with him. I am not promoting his behaviour by not addressing it - I'm protecting my working evironment/working relationships - because I desire to stay in this department. Not that he would get me fired - he would just be unpleasant to work with, and I don't want to have to come into work dreading seeing him. I have to look at this fact that 90% of the time - he treats me totally awesome! I've actually enjoyed learning from him, he's very teaching, and usually very fun to labor with, but this dark side......ummmm, another story!

I do understand that because of politics and organizational dynamics, there are lots of times when it would hurt the person who was mistreated even more if they reported the behavior.

There is no way I'd be able to forgive someone who treated me like that, though. Forgiveness needs to be earned, and I doubt this guy cares if he's forgiven or not.

I'm wondering if when he's been nice, it's phony.

Maybe his outburst showed his true colors.

I want to be that old battle axe nurse!!! That is so invigorating to read!

Same here!

Specializes in OB/PP/Nsy.
I want to be that old battle axe nurse!!! That is so invigorating to read!

Oh ME TOO!!!! You have NO idea!!!!:lol2:

Well, as bad as I hate to admit it - you are probably right. My problem with having a talk with him - is I'm afraid that my emotions might pop back up, and I do not want to appear emotional in front of him. Now I am not a "crying" person - I barely cry at funerals - sometimes don't, some people think I'm non-emotional - most people think I'm a strong/tough person because I handle situations when others are falling apart - that I'm able to be strong, but it's weird that in situations such as this - I can't seem to control when unbidden tears will threaten to fall.
I'm the same way; though most people don't realize that when I do cry, it's because I'm beyond angry. People who know me know to stand clear if they see me tearing up.
Specializes in OB/PP/Nsy.
No need, tell him you were not aware it was two for one day on a** h**** at the supermarket.

You made me literally Laugh out Loud!!:lol2: THANKS!

I only wish I had the b*lls to say that! (and I am female btw)

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