Got my 1st butt chewing today - humiliating!

Nurses General Nursing

Published

First let me say that I work in a L/D-PP-NSY unit in a rural hospital. We only have 2 OB's and I like them both very much. I had been warned about one of them - how he was practically bi-polar - and I have seen a few of his mood swings, but he has always been extremely nice to me - he's always joking - even when I call him in the middle of the night - so up to this point I have really loved my job! I've even commented that our low pay is compensated by a good working environment, and awesome physicians who treat us with respect. ...... well my little bubble was somewhat deflated this morning. Keep in mind - our unit is a combo unit, where I not only triage/labor - I also take care of PP, and assist in the nursery when needed. Last night I had a pt at 39 wk who was contracting somewhat irregular, with no cervical change after a couple of hrs, and so we sent her home Well, as I am giving report to my relief RN, she shows up with SROM. Because the RN that was relieving me was going to be the only one for OB/PP and her LPN was stuck in the Nsy with a baby on O2 - and had a scheduled C/S, I volunteered to stay and get the new patient admitted, orders done, etc... until the nurse we called in arrives. Well, I phoned the doc at 7:15 to inform him of patients return, and status and received the order to admit & pit & can start prepping her for epidural. So, as soon as I finish report - maybe less than 5 min, I started the process - which is alot - you know consents, Labs, IV starts, answering questions, etc.....Mixing antibiotics/pitocin/hyrating for epidural/giving pain meds, while anwering phone, dealing with the floor patients families questions, & had to give a few pain meds to floor patients while I am rushing to do all of this. Well.... to try to make a long story short - my relief shows up - it is now 8:20 - I am giving her report and in walks the doc. As I am telling her that he wants her to have pitocin - and was handing it to her - he lays into to me. Now we are standing at the nurses station which is about 12 ft from patients rooms, the cleaning lady is there, my relief nurse is there, and he chews me out thouroughly because I do not have the pit going - because he has to leave town at 10 am. Now this is a G1P1 who when she returned had progressed to 4/80/-1 on her own, and was ctx - although still somewhat irregular - q2-3 minutes. When he checked her a few minutes later she was 4.5/90/0 - so it wasn't like she was actually going to NEED pitocin to progress anyway. It was all about he needed her delivered before 10. He proceeded to state very loudly that the order was given at 7:15 am, and he expected me to start pit THEN, and he should not have to call the unit to see if I'm actually FOLLOWING his orders, because he just ASSUMED that I would do what he ordered - because he had REASONS he gives me orders, and It's my place to follow those orders, then he started blabbing about a study that shows if you admit a patient at 5cm, start pit 6x6, then they have blah blah blah (can't really remember what he said at this point) - then he said furthermore, I am the one with the DEGREE! (This last sentence is the one that got me!!) Then plopped the chart down walked off. OK now I am standing there - humiliated beyond all measure. My relief nurse had grabbed the bag of pit before he got done with his lecture, and promptly went to hang it - the cleaning lady was looking at me with sympathy - I was speechless. I sat down to chart everything that I had done for the patient so that I could actually go home, seeing how I had already stayed 1.5 hrs over to help - and he KNOWS I am staying late because our schedules are fixed - I am always on nights - and plus I had been the one to call him at 3 am. I had not sat down since that patient arrived, as I was rushing to get as much done as I could to help, and did not sit twiddling my thumbs saying, hmmm.....I don't think I'll start pit, because I don't think she needs it - because I am smarter than said doc - uh, NO. There is a process - that takes time. If he had said on the phone I am needing to leave town at 10am, so can you speed things along, then yes, maybe I would have been able to gotten things done a little faster by spending less time during consents explaining, and answering questions, etc... I just don't know! After he checked the patient, he comes back to the nurses station as I am charting, and asks me a few questions so he could fill in his progress notes, and as he gets up to leave, he pats me on the back and says "Thanks for your help - I'm not mad at you - I just needed you to really get this one going" - well, I could not even respond at this point because I have tears threatening to spill, and I'll be darned if I'm going to let him see me cry. I held it together by not talking to anyone - except to say goodbye at 9 am. I cried when I was in the privacy of my car. I cried when I was trying to go to sleep. I'm mad at him for being unprofessional, and repremanding me in front of my co-workers, and anyone else who walked by. I'm mad at myself for allowing him to humiliate me - I always swore I would walk away and if they had anything to say to me - they could come to me in private. I'm made that I could not control my tears, and speak back to him when he tried to half-A$$ apologize to me - believe me I had words I wanted to say. I'm mad that my skin is not tougher - that I have cried over this, and allowed it to upset me.

I guess I am fortunate that this is my first chewing, but I feel that although he did have a legitimate complaint - that I was taking a little too long - the manner in which is handled it was totally inappropriate.

Does it get easier? Does your skin ever grow thicker? I know the next time he sees me - he will be back to normal, and will act as if nothing ever happened, but I'm afraid I'm will not be so eager to resume our "friendly" conversations. I have decided in my mind that it will be business only - I will say what I need to say in regards to patient care, and refrain from carrying on with his constant joking, long conversations regarding his son's wakeboarding events, pretending interest in his rock-climbing stories. Ya know? Does this make me immature? I will not be rude or disrespectful, I just have no desire to be "personable" to him. :madface:

Sorry this is sooo long! I am one of those people who need to VENT to get things off my chest. I am still hurt. When in nursing school, I witnessed a doc chewing out an ICU nurse - in FRONT of the patient, all of us nursing students as well as her co-workers - and saw her later in the hallway crying, and being consoled.... that made a huge impression on me, and I can't believe I endured the same thing this morning. Somehow - I think I need a raise - LOL. My lovely working environment now longer compensates for the poor wages ! LOL

Specializes in Trauma,ER,CCU/OHU/Nsg Ed/Nsg Research.

How about this tactic? What if, when a nurse is being singled out, one or two, or even three, other nurses just walked over and stood next to the nurse being attacked? No words would ever have to be spoken, but maybe the attacker would feel some intimidation being returned to him/her! If this happened several times, consistently, maybe people would start to think twice before they go to "chew" someone out inappropriately!!! It's time that we stop letting ourselves, and each other, be treated unprofessionally. The practice will only continue if we let it.

We would do this at a facility I used to work at years ago. We called it a 'code white.' We had an attending orthopedic surgeon that actually threw some charts at one of the nurses. After nothing was done about it, we had gotten fed up and decided that it was on us to make sure none of us were treated like that again. So, if someone was acting like a bully, somebody would call out, 'Code White!' and we would all just go over to where the action was and stand there with our arms folded. It worked wonders.

Specializes in Medical Surgical.

Yes, I agree! It's up to us to support our fellow nurses. Many years ago I went to a seminar and one of the speakers said that at her hospital when a physician went over the top, the nurses actually called a "Code Pink" overhead. Then any free nurses in the surrounding area went to the designated area and just stood there with crossed arms as observers of the incident. She said it worked wonders in securing civility in the hospital. Too often the attitude is just "Oh, I'm so glad it's not me!" Like we used to do when we were kids and Mom or Dad was chewing out Sissy. We (or at least I) rather enjoyed it because if Sissy was in trouble it made me look like the good kid. We need to uplift our fellow nurses.

Specializes in Emergency.

The first time a doc gets out of line with me, I do try to handle it one on one in a quiet, "professional" manner. After that, it's direct confrontation - all the way, baby! Usually this is what you have to do to get a behavior change from a bully.

If a doc is out of line on the phone, he gets put on therapeutic hold. If he starts cursing, he gets disconnected.

I already have to take a lot of crap from patients and their families. I'm not taking it from my coworkers too.

Specializes in rehab, long-term care, ortho.
If a doc is out of line on the phone, he gets put on therapeutic hold.

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

quote=jojotoo;2602424]The first time a doc gets out of line with me, I do try to handle it one on one in a quiet, "professional" manner. After that, it's direct confrontation - all the way, baby! Usually this is what you have to do to get a behavior change from a bully.

If a doc is out of line on the phone, he gets put on therapeutic hold. If he starts cursing, he gets disconnected.

I already have to take a lot of crap from patients and their families. I'm not taking it from my coworkers too.

:w00t::w00t: Right On!!!!!!!!!

's RN

Specializes in SICU, NICU, Telephone Triage, Management.

So sorry this happened to you. You sound very sharp and on the ball. You were putting the patient's needs ahead of your own and the doctor was putting his personal needs above all else. I have had my share of such situations. I made it my practice to never get chummy with the doctors, never to address them by their first name. Invariably the time would come when they pulled the "I am the doctor" routine. I always kept a professional attitude towards them whether they had earned my respect or not. The priority was the patient. This doesn't mean "I took it." I have been known to walk away from a doctor having a temper tantrum and berating me in the nurses station. I figure let there be one fool and not two.

If I treated them with professional courtesy I expected the same in return.

I will say that starting meds on a patient for the doctor's convenience is something for risk management to look into.

quote=jojotoo;2602424]The first time a doc gets out of line with me, I do try to handle it one on one in a quiet, "professional" manner. After that, it's direct confrontation - all the way, baby! Usually this is what you have to do to get a behavior change from a bully.

If a doc is out of line on the phone, he gets put on therapeutic hold. If he starts cursing, he gets disconnected.

I already have to take a lot of crap from patients and their families. I'm not taking it from my coworkers too.

:w00t::w00t: Right On!!!!!!!!!

's RN

I like the way you think! I totally agree with your actions. Families especially can drive you nuts!:up:

Specializes in nursery, L and D.

Don't know if this has been mentioned yet, but delivering a GBS pos woman within 3 hours is not in the infants best interest. You have to get at least 2 doses in, which takes at least 4 hours. Should have thrown that one in his face, in front of everyone, just like he did you!

Specializes in obstetric nursing.

sorry this happened to you, but expect lots to come..and overtime you will get so used to it, you become numb with whatever they have to say..i am in practice for less than 2 yrs and when i was i a bit new i was so melodramatic..now i think i got skin thicker than a komodo's... :saint: i do believe there are only a handful of doctors who are really humane and not self-absorbed..and who do treat nurses as equals. and every time i meet one, i am always grateful to God for such beings..

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