First let me say that I work in a L/D-PP-NSY unit in a rural hospital. We only have 2 OB's and I like them both very much. I had been warned about one of them - how he was practically bi-polar - and I have seen a few of his mood swings, but he has always been extremely nice to me - he's always joking - even when I call him in the middle of the night - so up to this point I have really loved my job! I've even commented that our low pay is compensated by a good working environment, and awesome physicians who treat us with respect. ...... well my little bubble was somewhat deflated this morning. Keep in mind - our unit is a combo unit, where I not only triage/labor - I also take care of PP, and assist in the nursery when needed. Last night I had a pt at 39 wk who was contracting somewhat irregular, with no cervical change after a couple of hrs, and so we sent her home Well, as I am giving report to my relief RN, she shows up with SROM. Because the RN that was relieving me was going to be the only one for OB/PP and her LPN was stuck in the Nsy with a baby on O2 - and had a scheduled C/S, I volunteered to stay and get the new patient admitted, orders done, etc... until the nurse we called in arrives. Well, I phoned the doc at 7:15 to inform him of patients return, and status and received the order to admit & pit & can start prepping her for epidural. So, as soon as I finish report - maybe less than 5 min, I started the process - which is alot - you know consents, Labs, IV starts, answering questions, etc.....Mixing antibiotics/pitocin/hyrating for epidural/giving pain meds, while anwering phone, dealing with the floor patients families questions, & had to give a few pain meds to floor patients while I am rushing to do all of this. Well.... to try to make a long story short - my relief shows up - it is now 8:20 - I am giving her report and in walks the doc. As I am telling her that he wants her to have pitocin - and was handing it to her - he lays into to me. Now we are standing at the nurses station which is about 12 ft from patients rooms, the cleaning lady is there, my relief nurse is there, and he chews me out thouroughly because I do not have the pit going - because he has to leave town at 10 am. Now this is a G1P1 who when she returned had progressed to 4/80/-1 on her own, and was ctx - although still somewhat irregular - q2-3 minutes. When he checked her a few minutes later she was 4.5/90/0 - so it wasn't like she was actually going to NEED pitocin to progress anyway. It was all about he needed her delivered before 10. He proceeded to state very loudly that the order was given at 7:15 am, and he expected me to start pit THEN, and he should not have to call the unit to see if I'm actually FOLLOWING his orders, because he just ASSUMED that I would do what he ordered - because he had REASONS he gives me orders, and It's my place to follow those orders, then he started blabbing about a study that shows if you admit a patient at 5cm, start pit 6x6, then they have blah blah blah (can't really remember what he said at this point) - then he said furthermore, I am the one with the DEGREE! (This last sentence is the one that got me!!) Then plopped the chart down walked off. OK now I am standing there - humiliated beyond all measure. My relief nurse had grabbed the bag of pit before he got done with his lecture, and promptly went to hang it - the cleaning lady was looking at me with sympathy - I was speechless. I sat down to chart everything that I had done for the patient so that I could actually go home, seeing how I had already stayed 1.5 hrs over to help - and he KNOWS I am staying late because our schedules are fixed - I am always on nights - and plus I had been the one to call him at 3 am. I had not sat down since that patient arrived, as I was rushing to get as much done as I could to help, and did not sit twiddling my thumbs saying, hmmm.....I don't think I'll start pit, because I don't think she needs it - because I am smarter than said doc - uh, NO. There is a process - that takes time. If he had said on the phone I am needing to leave town at 10am, so can you speed things along, then yes, maybe I would have been able to gotten things done a little faster by spending less time during consents explaining, and answering questions, etc... I just don't know! After he checked the patient, he comes back to the nurses station as I am charting, and asks me a few questions so he could fill in his progress notes, and as he gets up to leave, he pats me on the back and says "Thanks for your help - I'm not mad at you - I just needed you to really get this one going" - well, I could not even respond at this point because I have tears threatening to spill, and I'll be darned if I'm going to let him see me cry. I held it together by not talking to anyone - except to say goodbye at 9 am. I cried when I was in the privacy of my car. I cried when I was trying to go to sleep. I'm mad at him for being unprofessional, and repremanding me in front of my co-workers, and anyone else who walked by. I'm mad at myself for allowing him to humiliate me - I always swore I would walk away and if they had anything to say to me - they could come to me in private. I'm made that I could not control my tears, and speak back to him when he tried to half-A$$ apologize to me - believe me I had words I wanted to say. I'm mad that my skin is not tougher - that I have cried over this, and allowed it to upset me.
I guess I am fortunate that this is my first chewing, but I feel that although he did have a legitimate complaint - that I was taking a little too long - the manner in which is handled it was totally inappropriate.
Does it get easier? Does your skin ever grow thicker? I know the next time he sees me - he will be back to normal, and will act as if nothing ever happened, but I'm afraid I'm will not be so eager to resume our "friendly" conversations. I have decided in my mind that it will be business only - I will say what I need to say in regards to patient care, and refrain from carrying on with his constant joking, long conversations regarding his son's wakeboarding events, pretending interest in his rock-climbing stories. Ya know? Does this make me immature? I will not be rude or disrespectful, I just have no desire to be "personable" to him.
Sorry this is sooo long! I am one of those people who need to VENT to get things off my chest. I am still hurt. When in nursing school, I witnessed a doc chewing out an ICU nurse - in FRONT of the patient, all of us nursing students as well as her co-workers - and saw her later in the hallway crying, and being consoled.... that made a huge impression on me, and I can't believe I endured the same thing this morning. Somehow - I think I need a raise - LOL. My lovely working environment now longer compensates for the poor wages ! LOL
Well, Thought I would let everyone know that I have read all responses, and have considered them all. I went back to work last week for my 3 days, and did not have a delivery with him, so haven't seen him yet. I did however Triage a couple of his patients during the night and spoke with him on the phone - which I just stated my names and facts & waited for orders - and he did his usual "Hey *my name* how's it going" and telling me about his new puppy, etc.... as I politely listened! I still haven't decided exactly what I am going to say when I DO see him - but at least I am not "emotionally" charged anymore. I'll let you know. Thanks to all for your advice!
My first thought is that this should be addressed with your supervisor. Right or wrong on the timing issue, she should know that her nurses are not being treated with respect. Secondly, the next time you are working with this Doc, ask to speak with him privately, then proceed to tell him that his behavior the other day was out of line and extremely unprofessional. Explain that you understand why he was upset however you are a professional as well, and will not tolerate this kind of abuse. Be prepared to take it to the hospital board if necessary. My guess he will be somewhat apologetic and if nothing else, will at least have a new found respect for you and all nurses in general. I had a similar situation in the NICU and after the emergency was over, I pulled him aside and said he was out of line. He admitted he was wrong and said he was sorry. You have a degree too, and without your expertise and dedication (and other nurses like you) he'd be starting his own IV! Your supervisor should be aware because it sounds like the unit is short handed already and I can't imagine she can afford to be losing good nurses like you!! Don't lose heart and don't lose your confidence!
Lets see... "what have I learned?" It doesn't pay to stay after your shift in order to help out......
and "what will I do next time" Contact mgr/DON for them to cover, Clock out after giving report, and let them deal with it.
Seriously! I would NEVER do this - it is NOT in my nature. But that is what I'd LIKE to do.
Basically I've learned what is perfectly fine one day is extremely wrong the next day. You are supposed to KNOW (by reading minds of course)that the doctor is going out of town, and needs a G1 delivered in less than 3 hrs. And despite the fact you are in the middle of shift change, and patient is still in triage, that when you've called the doc at 7:15 - you should have already had her admitted, and pit mixed, and ready to start at 7:16 - worry about her pain/consents/GBS + status/Labs later.
I am very sorry........I am totally not trying to be disrespectful to you - I appreciate your comments, but it seems that I did the best I could given the circumstances I was under. My evil side is coming out!! LOL!
Believe me - I'll try to avoid this happening again. You definately live and learn!
You did do the best you could and he is unappreciative. You did what was best for the patient and your co-workers. Whether or not he realizes that is not your problem. What is your problem is you have a disrespectful physician who will (and I promise you he will) do this again if you do not set the record straight. This is the difference between a professional nurse and one who simply does what he/she is told. You need to do what the other nurses have said and in a quiet time pull him aside and tell him under no uncertain terms you will not accept behavour agin. You will report it. Tell him you had stayed late to be sure the patients were taken care of. If you hadn't it would have been after 0900 before his pit was started. Let him know you felt humiliated and then make sure you remind him that you are a professional also and deserve to be treated with respect. Keep your cool. If he blows that is his problem (he won't-- I would bet on it).
Do not accept this kind of behavour from anyone. It is a major fault of nurses. If we do nto tolerate this kind of abuse it will not happen--at least with the frequency that it occurs.
don't stoop to his level and blow your top, he made plans and this baby wasn't a part of the plan or his schedule. he couldn't go in and yell at the baby or the mother so you're the one who got it.
professional and personal i've blown up at the wrong person who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time for them but right place for me.(maybe this is what happend with the doctor) i have had heated words that i have regretted even though they may deserve it, it makes you look bad and sometimes foolish if just by chance they were in the right about the point just wrong in the delivery of the complaint. sometimes they are wrong in the complaint and the delivery but it could still make you look bad to the people who count.
hang in there you only have control over yourself. you seem to be a great person and nurse. i would try to talk to the doc.
it's better to repair the bridge, than to just burn it down as you may need to cross it again one day.
Ist of all the only people who can "reprimand" you are your direct and indirect supervisors. What this jerk did to you was abuse. If you stop thinking of him as your superior and begin treating him as a professional colleague and not as a godlike creature on a pedestal you will find the relationship will change. It takes time and practice but it will happen and your career will be much more satisfying. A wise nurse also taught me you can never go wrong if your actions are consistent with the best interests of ALL your patients and that's all you ever need to reply in any of these abusive "chewing out" situations..."my actions are/were consistent with optimal care for ALL my patients". This is very effective if you immediately interrupt a rant and in a speaking but firm voice repeat this for as long as necessary, until the person hears YOU. Then turn on your heel and walk away. The person throwing the tantrum looks very foolish and selfish and you retain your dignity and professionlism. You will not walk away feeling humiliated!
And the next time he wants to bore you with a story about his kids or personal life you might say "I'd love to listen but I've got to get back to my work..patients first!"
And while I am at it...am I the only nurse in the world who yearns to ditch the term "doctor's orders" ?Because in reality it is a medical plan of care, implemented by the nurse in conjunction with the nursing plan of care. [in our state (Washington) nurses are required to know if a plan is inappropriate for a patient and to call the MD for clarification or change in plan of care.] This gets rid of that doctor nurse hierarchy and encourages doctors to look at nurses as team members (and not subservient mindless handmaidens.)
Well, long reply but I hope this helps. You sound like a fabulous nurse and if you get tired of that job please let me know.The hospital where I work is very supportive of our nurses and we have a fantastic OB department. You would be welcomed with open arms! All the best, Erika
I had a Dr. that would talk down to me, was moody & even was humiliating at different times. Finally, I had enough & notified my DON, who was already aware of the Dr.'s behavior. Not long after, the Dr. had a meeting with his boss re: various issues that had cropped up. Not long after, the Dr. apologized to me stating that he was on his way out. Today, we have a new doc, and the atmosphere is much more comfortable. I don't know of a nurse that I work with that hasn't endured the type of confrontation you have described, which is unacceptable. Your superiors need to be informed of this, or this Dr. will continue this behavior if it is validated.
I am really sorry this happened to you. Sounds like you did the best you could and this guy needs some lessons in human relations. But, I have found it helpful to put myself in the other persons shoes. You can proceed with your "just business" methods, but he is human too and may be dealing with stressors at home.
My Father was a Cardiologist and ran his own practice. He would get calls at all hours of the night. Even when we would be out to see a movie or go to a ball game, inevitably he would get a page and have to leave to find a phone in a quiet place to call the hospital. This was before cell phones.
This lifestyle does tend to wear on the family over time. There is a fair amout of pressure to show up for events and to stay there and everyone is upset when you have to leave. I have spoken to many young women who want to marry doctors and I tell them what it was like growing up with a doctor and it is not that great. It takes a person who is very understanding and flexible to deal with it.
Anyway, as hurt as you are try to forgive him and move the relationship into a more positive frame. You will have to work with this guy and putting up a wall of resentment will not help either of you be the best you can be for the patient.
I am a travel nurse, and at the hospital I was in up in DC, 90% of the staff was from another country. Most of them spoke in "their langauge", the only time thry spoke English was to speak to me,Anyway, I had been there about a week, (with NO floor orientation, mind you), the director of the unit walked up to me, in the middle of he CCU, and CHEW me roally IN THE MIDDLE OF THE UNIT, for about 10 min. Every time I tried to interupt to ask her to take it to her office, she got worse. The kicker is, most of the stuff she was yelling about was things NOBODY told me I had to do (I;m refering to some papaer work, not patient care). I was SO embaresed!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did later ask her not to yell at me in front of the rest of the staff, but she told me that was "just the way I do things."When I said something to me requter, she said that "there was really nothing I can do about that."I hung in there about two months, but then couldn't stand it after two months and cut it short.Angel's Rn
I saw a funny article in Glamour by Stephen Colbert (Comedy Central)...he called them "lady balls" or "Thatchers" since Margaret Thatcher had bigger balls than most of the male world leaders of her time!
I'm sorry you got your butt chewed. I hate it that some doctors think they can get away with such. They wouldn't do it to another physician, only to someone they consider to be a subordinate rather than a colleague. Obviously this guy thinks he's above the fine nurses who catch a lot of babies for him...
We had a real jerk oncologist (who's still a real jerk, BTW) who'd been abusing nurses, social workers, unit secretaries and PCAs for years who made the mistake of tangling with a pharmacist on the floor in front of God and everybody. He was reprimanded severely and it changed his behavior. Too bad it took so long, but at least things got better for the people who work on that floor.
As for me, I don't take butt chewing any more. I've walked away or hung up so as not to say something I can't take back. I refuse to stoop to that level. Although I did tell a doctor I called at 3 AM who yelled at me that if he didn't want to get called in the middle of the night, he should have gone into dermatology instead of pulmonology.
Human bites can get infected, you better put some salve on your butt
As for me, I don't take butt chewing any more. I've walked away or hung up so as not to say something I can't take back. I refuse to stoop to that level. Although I did tell a doctor I called at 3 AM who yelled at me that if he didn't want to get called in the middle of the night, he should have gone into dermatology instead of pulmonology.
Human bites can get infected, you better put some salve on your butt
I worked with a surgon that KNEW he was better than God, and actually yelled and screamed the REAL bad word in front of the staff, other MD's, and wide awake patients, until one night I was so fed up with him and his language that I flat told him to shut up, and the patient, who was on the O.R. table at the time, clapped his hands and said "You go girl!":yelclap:
After I wrote him up the third time, the facility suspended his privilages!!
I have been an RN for over 35 years. It seems that some things never change. I worked for 7 years at one of the affilliates of a nationally recognized medical institution. The "Nurse Manager" ruled her unit by using intimidation, and squelching her nurses. She once chewed me out in front of patients and staff for initiating the use of drawsheets on patient stretchers. She informed me that, if I were so concerned about nurses backs, then the cost of the drawsheets could come out of my salary! When, on another occasion, I asked about labels for IV medications being administered, she informed me, again publicly, that "when I was more familiar with my job, then I wouldn't need those "apron-strings". Obviously, this woman was crazy, and my every instinct said to get out now. However, this was an ideal job as far as the working hours were concerned, and I soon learned to work around her, and do my own thing. Several years later, when the Medical Director of the unit was terrorizing the nurses, I went (on the request of the other nurses) to the Nurse Manager. She requested to have our concerns in writing. So, with the cooperation of the other nurses, I came up with a letter stating our concerns. One of my "fellow" nurses went to the Medical Director, and informed him that I had written a letter, and he demanded that I be fired. The Nurse Manager, instead of backing her nurses, actually went to HR to put that process into place. HR informed her that there was no cause. I ignored the Medical Director's pouting, and several months went by before things returned to "normal". Later that year, I left to take a job that did not work out. Two weeks later, when I attempted to return to my old job (which had not been filled, or even posted yet), I learned that I had been black-balled from the job, and the institution!!! This, after many years of outstanding evaluations, and the verbal invitation to come back if things did not work out. Imagine the shock.
This is my point. We, as nurses, allow ourselves to be treated the way we are. We are very good at consoling each other after an attack. But, while the attack is happening, the nurse being attacked is left high and dry, fending for her/himself alone. I have seen this happen time and time again, at many different institutions. So, the trend to intimidate and humiliate continues, without any control.
How about this tactic? What if, when a nurse is being singled out, one or two, or even three, other nurses just walked over and stood next to the nurse being attacked? No words would ever have to be spoken, but maybe the attacker would feel some intimidation being returned to him/her! If this happened several times, consistently, maybe people would start to think twice before they go to "chew" someone out inappropriately!!! It's time that we stop letting ourselves, and each other, be treated unprofessionally. The practice will only continue if we let it.
None of the things that happened to me would have happened if my fellow nurses (on whose behalf I was speaking) would have joined me in speaking up, AT THE TIME OF THE ATTACK!!!
To quote Martin Luther King - "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
To quote Carmen de Monteflores - "Oppression can only survive through silence."
LOL! 
:lol:
RN2Bn2006
142 Posts
Well, Thought I would let everyone know that I have read all responses, and have considered them all. I went back to work last week for my 3 days, and did not have a delivery with him, so haven't seen him yet. I did however Triage a couple of his patients during the night and spoke with him on the phone - which I just stated my names and facts & waited for orders - and he did his usual "Hey *my name* how's it going" and telling me about his new puppy, etc.... as I politely listened! I still haven't decided exactly what I am going to say when I DO see him - but at least I am not "emotionally" charged anymore. I'll let you know. Thanks to all for your advice!