Good Looking Enough to be a Nurse?

Jo Dirt · Jul 11, 2008

I think maybe the OP is a victim of believing life is really like "Grey's Anatomy" or "General Hospital."

I will just say that someone who thinks the doctors actually have enough time to care what nurses look like is more than likely not prepared for the reality of the medical field.

That being said, I know how painful Body Dysmorphic Disorder can be. It is an incredibly painful and consuming affliction to deal with. I have suffered most of my life with it, I've faced ridicule from my peers and even my own family for being ugly, and I remember every time the word ugly came out of their mouths when they were talking to and about me. I've been rejected more than once for being ugly. No one wants to be ugly. Life is cruel, though. I even had a nose job thinking it would help (it made things worse!) This is no laughing matter. It took a long time and I'm a more bitter and calloused person because of it, but I've taught myself that I do have a purpose in life and that I mean more to my children and they mean more to me than any of those immature, insensitive creeps. And my work as a nurse cares not one plug nickle what I look like.

I hope you find peace and contentment with your future. Realize that no matter how you think you look things could be a lot worse.

RENAISSANCE RN · Jul 11, 2008

Hi, Just a thought. could the stress of your schooling be starting a reocurrance of your ED. keep an eye on it. Sometimes we formulate scenarios in order to back up or back in to a behavior. I know a lot of girls who got depressed and anxious during nsg school, so it is nothing to be ashamed of. talk these feelings over with your therapists. I assure you, we do not all look like we stepped off of greys anatomy.

God Bless:nurse:

ijuanabhappy, ASN, RN · Jul 11, 2008

I understand the OP's anxieties and concerns about this. It is not being self-centered, shallow, or silly. Eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorders are real painful conditions that nobody wants. I have had the same thoughts and concerns about going into nursing. Mine is more of my face not my body, and the fact that I am almost 40 years old. I can't even begin to describe how my life has changed since I had a jaw/chin surgery 13 years ago that left me with a numb chin and fake looking smile. I have not felt like myself or attractive for 13 years. I am extremely self-conscious and worry that during my nursing career comments may be made about my looks by an out-of-it patient or hostile patient. And yes, I do see a psychiatrist and I am trying to find a good medication for me. I'm in the process of finding a good therapist as well. A lot of times people make you feel silly whe you talk about these types of concerns. Those of you that cannot relate, I envy you. But I do think more understanding is needed in this area.

PMHNP10 · Jul 11, 2008

I'm a bit concerned about this entire thread, from the OPs very real disorder and all the symptoms that go along with it, to some of the responses that seem to be minimizing or making light of the OPs struggle. Is imploring the OP to seek psych help if not already, giving medical advice?

I hope you are/will get the help you require. Good luck to you.

Audrey28 · Jul 11, 2008

Its not at all about looks. That should not even be an issue!!! Its about the care that we give- how we treat our patients -whats on the inside is what counts- not our physical appearance. If you want to get healthier- there is nothing wrong with that- but don't do it for the wrong reasons!

JMO

~Audrey

heavenly14313 · Jul 11, 2008

First of all, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I am a female too and while I do not have an ED I do know the feeling of insecurity! For the women replying that this is silly, you need to think about the time in your life when you WERE insecure and if you say there has never been a time then you're in need of more therapy then the OP for your denial. We are women, and we do have times of insecurity. The OP is stating one of her insecurities and it is VERY real to her, whether it's real to you or not.

To the OP, for the most part, we are very similar creatures in that we have the same basic needs and wants. When you work with someone, who do you hope to work with? Someone who is good looking and that's all they are focused on, or someone who is nice, caring and compassionate? Really, answer that question. I would much rather work with somebody who is nice caring and compassionate - male or female. The dr - i would much rather him talk to me like i'm a human being and have a genuine care for his staff and p/ts then i would want him to have good looks. think about the replies you are getting. you get a certain feeling when you read them - either good or bad and it has nothing to do with the people's looks, b/c you don't know their looks. your need is for them to be kind caring and compassionate - not to be good looking. when it comes to patients and their needs for nurses and the drs need for staff, they do have certain things that they hope to find, but i promise you, they are just like you and i, and looks are not one of those things (unless THEY have some problems - and that's their battle, not yours).

Does any of this make any sense? when i start to feel insecure in a situation i take a time out and i observe the situation and the people from the outside and think, if i were that person, what would i appreciate from another person? what do i care about in other people? i bet your answer will not be looks. people are too caught up in their own looks to care about other people's looks - that make any sense? they don't walk in a room and say "omg, look at that pretty person, omg, that person is so ugly" they are thinking "does my hair look okay? am i the fattest person in the room? the ugliest?".

spend one week focusing on your compassion versus your diet/looks/etc. at the end of that week if your change of focus has not made you more likeable to others and more happy with yourself then go back to focusing on your looks - but i bet it will!

rnmomtobe2010 · Jul 11, 2008

Whoever told you that lied!!

DanFNP · Jul 11, 2008

To the OP, I hope you're feeling better and more confident soon. Trust me, once you're in the thick of a 12 hr. shift no one could give a rats behind what they're coworker is wearing or looks like. They're just hoping you're competent enough to help the patient and get everyone home on time. Good luck. :nuke:

Keepstanding, ASN, RN · Jul 11, 2008

you're kidding....right ??? :banghead:

squeakykitty · Jul 11, 2008

i happen to think that beauty comes from within. if you're beautiful on the inside, it shows.
as far as being good looking enough to be a nurse -- it's what's inside that counts.

despite what the culture and standards hollywood and the media would have us believe, i totally agree with ruby vee's post. the only thing that should matter is a persons character and if they are a good person. i don't have any respect for anyone who only cares about what a person looks like and not who they are on the inside.

Audrey28 · Jul 11, 2008

Everyone has insecurities- I have had to face my own- but only I -ME- can make ME happy! Only I have the strength to go after what I want in life- and I will work my butt off to get there- and I can not wait to be a Nurse- I understand what it is like to be over weight- I went from weighing almost 200+ pounds after I had my daughter- and I have been on a fitness kick for the past 2 months- in the past 7 weeks I have lost 22 pounds- and I have worked so hard at it.. I go to the gym 5 days a week- Monday -Friday and I am eating healthier. I'm currently at 146.4 I have 26.4 more pounds to lose before I reach my "goal" weight- but there is no magic number- I am happy with the woman I have become- and I just try to be the best at everything I do- the best mother for my daughter- the best worker in my current job- the best student... I don't care what people think about it- and I don't care about their opinions of my appearance- this is me- who I am. To quote Marilyn Monroe- If someone can't handle me on my worst day they do not deserve me on my best day. I went through an abusive relationship with my exhusband- had to deal with being called a fat b*tch like everyday- THANK GOD I AM AWAY FROM THAT! After I lost my weight he wanted me back- I told him I still the same "fat B*tch" on the inside- just the outside changed.... I know I already posted once- but I just had to get this off my chest. So do what makes YOU happy- and don't worry about appearances and what other people think. You will be a good nurse- and it has nothing to do with looks...

:nuke: Keep smiling chicky- and hold your head up high... You deserve to be a nurse just as much as anyone on here. :clown:

~audrey:redpinkhe

squeakykitty · Jul 11, 2008

.......That being said, I know how painful Body Dysmorphic Disorder can be. It is an incredibly painful and consuming affliction to deal with. I have suffered most of my life with it, I've faced ridicule from my peers and even my own family for being ugly, and I remember every time the word ugly came out of their mouths when they were talking to and about me. I've been rejected more than once for being ugly.
......

Motorcycle Mama--

I've read a lot of your posts here, and I can tell that you're not ugly.

The people who did all this to you are truly ugly on the inside due to the abusive cruelty in their character. They sound like the type of bullies who have to put others down just to build themselves up.