How to confront a disrespectful professor

  1. Hi, I'm a block 4 nursing student. I'm dealing with what I feel is a disrespectful nursing professor. I recently asked for an extension on a care plan and was refused saying that I'd had more than enough time to complete it and that if I didn't turn it in on time, I wouldn't be able to complete my clinical experience. Now, I am a 37 year old mom with 6 kids who maintained a 4.0 throughout my prerequisites and while I have not been able to maintain a 4.0, I still a reasonable GPA and have not had to repeat any blocks. The week the careplan was due, I had simulation along with its prep, a school nurse clinical along with it's prep, normal prep for class, my bachelors program (I'm in the concurrent enrollment program) work. (And if that weren't enough my kids seemed to be all falling apart at the same time and with my husband working 60+ hours a week, I had to handle stuff at home. I literally asked her for a few more hours to complete it. She later told me "Do not mistake my kindness for a weakness and take advantage of me trying to be fair. This is my only warning." I honestly feel like I deserve more respect than to be treated like some slacker student who is trying to get out of an assignment. So... I am planning to confront her. By confront, I of course mean a sit down where we have a civil conversation about the matter. So my question is... How should I handle this? I want to approach her in a manner that is respectful and actually resolves the situation. But I need help figuring out how to do this. I've already requested an appointment with her.
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    About MamaNanii

    Joined: Oct '17; Posts: 4; Likes: 5


  3. by   MiladyMalarkey
    I know you aren't going to like this, but, I don't feel your professor was unfair or disrespectful. They have a set teaching schedule & just aren't being flexible & that's not really unreasonable or disrespectful. How is this fair to other students who get their stuff done on time & have just as much going on as you? They then have to give everyone the same leniency as you & people (not necessarily you) are quick to burn that bridge with instructors by taking advantage of it.

    I would suck it up, turn in what you have, even if not done. At least it is something. I would NOT confront your professor when they are really being fair & holding you to same standard as everyone else.

    Really, extensions are usually only used for extenuating circumstances. Severe illness, hospitalizations, death in family, etc.

    Like I said, know not what you want to hear & understand life gets stressful but this is a battle I personally would not fight.
  4. by   elkpark
    Welcome to allnurses! You're posting to ask for a "respectful" way to explain to your instructor that you shouldn't be held to the same expectations and requirements that all the other students are? How come you think you are entitled to that? I'm sure many of your classmates also have conflicting responsibilities and demands outside of school. How is it fair for you to get some special consideration? I agree that it is not "disrespectful" of your instructor to decline to give you extra time on an assignment. If she did, there would be a long line of students behind you, with equally compelling sad tales of why they deserve extra time, also. Nursing school is tough and demanding. Stuff going on in your personal life is not the school's responsibility.
  5. by   FullGlass
    The instructor was not being disrespectful. She simply denied your extension request, which is her right. Just complete as much as you can, then turn the assignment in on time. Part of nursing school is learning to juggle priorities. It does sound like you have a lot going on in your life and maybe you should consider trying not to do so much. Perhaps you need to go to school part time. Good luck.
  6. by   37changes
    Many people here are ~40 with close to 4.0 GPA, multiple kids & responsibilities outside of school. That doesn't give us different deadlines than anyone else.

    So did you turn the care plan in on time, or are you done with that clinical for this semester?
  7. by   ItsThatJenGirl
    It sounds like you had a lot going on! I'm sure it was a stressful week.

    That said, your teacher was under no obligation to extend your deadline.

    If you did sit down with her, what would your end goal be? An apology?
  8. by   emmjayy
    There is nothing here to be resolved. You knew the expectation going in, it's not her fault you have children, etc. and it's not up to her to accommodate for your life. This is not your hill to die on. Turn in what you've got and move on, because this issue is most definitely not worth the drama that will come with it if you decide to "confront" your professor for holding you to the same standard as everyone else.
  9. by   not.done.yet
    I would advise you rather than wasting time thinking about how to "confront" your professor because you think you are entitled to special considerations, you spend it getting that care plan done and turned in on time. Problem solved.
  10. by   meanmaryjean
    OP: I always recoil when someone uses the word 'confront'. It suggests an adversarial relationship- or that you somehow have the goods on her.

    You asked for a special favor. You seem to feel you are entitled to have different rules apply to you because of your life circumstances. You were declined.

    You really want to 'confront' someone who is the arbiter of such things and was completely within her lane to deny you?

    You feel being told 'no' is somehow disrespectful? That smacks of entitlement. Do some honest reflection here - you are in the wrong.
  11. by   Daisy4RN
    While I know how hard nursing school can be with a family, the other posters are right, you are not entitled to any special favors because of it. Everyone in the program has a life and issues to deal with. I think you would do yourself more harm than good by asking to speak to the Instructor again. You asked (nothing wrong with that) and you got your answer. Keep asking and you are just setting yourself up for more drama. Focus your energy on something that will help your studies etc. Good luck!
  12. by   ProperlySeasoned
    How to confront a disrespectful professor? Simple. Don't.
  13. by   caliotter3
    "Now, I am a 37 year old mom with 6 kids..." Need you say more? Your sense of entitlement will get you nowhere in nursing school.
  14. by   AnnieNP
    Do not "confront". Get the work done and move forward.