How has having/not having children affect your career? - page 3
I would like to ask what impact has having children/being childless been on your career?... Read More
May 31, '09Joined: Jul '03; Posts: 836; Likes: 258RN/writer you are exactly correct. It is possible for a woman to be a mom, and to pursue whatever career level she wants. The thing is it may not happen all at once. We are all capable of doing what we desire, whether it is BSN/MSN/APN/CRNA, etc. We have to realize that there are many different roads to make it to our destination.
No one way is right or wrong.
May 31, '09Specialty: 19 year(s) of experience ; Joined: Dec '07; Posts: 2,366; Likes: 4,417I don't have kids, which has freed me up to become a travel nurse. On the other hand, I am always expected to work holidays because I don't have kids.
May 31, '09Occupation: RN-Med-Peds From: US ; Joined: Feb '09; Posts: 78; Likes: 29Yes I have noticed a difference because they think I know nothing because I chose to start my career earlier in life. I usually just brush it off though because it's their own messed up view and I was not the one that made their life choices for them. And not that their life choices were the bad choices, there just the ones I chose to do later in life.
Jun 1, '09Joined: Apr '09; Posts: 84; Likes: 32I have noticed that as well. I dont have children and I have run into nurses who have said that I was spoiled and selfish etc the usual nonsense that those with children usually say. It used to annoy me at first but now I ignore them and just carry on with my career. I have a wonderful home, fabulous car, can travel, have lots of wonderful friends, can hang out in wine bars etc. I am happy with my life, so glad I am NOT stuck at home with screaming children and a career that is forced to be stagnant because of the "kids" They do slow your life down I dont care WHAT people say on the matter and can even ruin it sometimes.
Jun 1, '09Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 31,898; Likes: 20,742Life is about making choices and then dealing with our decisions: career, marriage or not, children or not, where to live, where to work, where to vacation, what kind of car to drive, etc, etc.
It is also about dealing with the hand that is dealt to us, of working through and making the best of things over which we have no control.
Sometimes in working through hardships a good comes out of all the trouble.
I know it sounds corny but I believe this, and have experienced it.
Seems we are all in the same boat of life, headed the same direction, just took berths in different compartments, none being more 'right' or 'wrong' than the other.
Off soap box now.
Jun 1, '09Joined: Apr '09; Posts: 84; Likes: 32Hi I just wanted to point out that - pregnancy is not something that is thrown into one's lap. Gone are the days when women had no control over their fertility. So when I hear of any woman saying I have got xxxx amount of children and I am still in nursing school - IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY!! Why do some women believe that being pregnant is the only way to motivate themsleves to have a career?? I have a career and dont have any children so I dont understand why that should be the case.
Jun 1, '09Occupation: Full time nursing student! Specialty: Gyn/STD clinic tech ; Joined: Oct '08; Posts: 350; Likes: 585i am currently in ns, i am happily married and 27 years old.
we never want children, and imo not having children makes ns much easier.
we love our time together, and for us children are just not wanted.
Jun 1, '09Joined: Apr '09; Posts: 84; Likes: 32Here here at last a poster who agrees with me lol. Who wants kids - they are such a drain. I feel sorry for any woman that has that burden (sorry joy)
Jun 1, '09Occupation: Medsurg RN Joined: Dec '07; Posts: 207; Likes: 47I have 2 children and am 2 semester away from graduating with my BSN. I don't regret having my children, I love them very much, I love having a family and am looking forward to the things that I will be able to do with my family once I am done with school. Yes I plan to go back and get an advanced practice degree. My children have dampered nothing and I will go as far as I want to go. If you prefer not to have children then that is your choice but don't assume that just because a person has a family they are miserable ,can't travel, have nice things etc that's just not true. I know plenty of people with family that still do what they want , including myself. I wouldn't change one thing about my life because I love it, and I wouldn't want it with out my children. Oh and I have been in school since before my children were born and the changes that I have had to make are minor things that aren't that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. I love being a mom, my kids are awesome.
Jun 1, '09Joined: Dec '04; Posts: 11,695; Likes: 14,914Quote from Ellean55It's one thing to decide not to have children yourself. It's another entirely to view other women's choices to have children as foolish or careless. It may be those things for you, but many of us truly want/wanted kids and would find life lacking to some degree without them.Hi I just wanted to point out that - pregnancy is not something that is thrown into one's lap. Gone are the days when women had no control over their fertility. So when I hear of any woman saying I have got xxxx amount of children and I am still in nursing school - IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY!! Why do some women believe that being pregnant is the only way to motivate themsleves to have a career?? I have a career and don't have any children so I dont understand why that should be the case.
As far as women believing that being pregnant is the only way to motivate themselves to have a career, I don't understand what that means. I didn't see people saying that in this thread. What I did see is women who had to make tough choices when "happily ever after" was taken off the table. At that point, the responsible thing is to get yourself moving in whatever way you can to craft a new version of "happily ever after," and for some, that means going back to school while caring for young children. Not the ideal, but often real.
I get that you don't want to be disrespected for deciding to be childless. But it doesn't seem like the respect goes both ways. Some of your posts indicate that you see having kids as a mistake or career-suicidal choice. For you, from all that you've shared, it would be just that. But many of us had children because we saw motherhood itself as a legitimate career. We don't view our children as a burden (okay, maybe once in a while) or obstacles to the good life.
It would be nice if each of us could be happy for, and encouraging of, other women, even if our choices are very different. We're all doing the best we can to make a good life for ourselves and those we love.
Jun 1, '09Joined: Apr '09; Posts: 84; Likes: 32Look RN Writer the things I say are based on nurses I have worked with - not generalising. These nurses I met - were complaining, etc some of these nurses I worked with were so bitter - that you wondered why they were mothers at all. So please do not think I am dissing ALL nurses who become parents. That is NOT the case.
Jun 1, '09Occupation: Emergency Surgery Specialty: ER, Surgery ; Joined: May '08; Posts: 48; Likes: 48Quote from Ellean55Without having a child you just really wouldn't understand how much they can and do enrich your life.Here here at last a poster who agrees with me lol. Who wants kids - they are such a drain. I feel sorry for any woman that has that burden (sorry joy)
As far as your question "how has having/ not children affected your career"
It's personal choice, I was 27 when I had my children, I had a fulfilling life before, I worked hard, socialised hard and enjoyed my life. I had a successful nursing career had been qualified 7 years, and after having my first child spent a year off work to take care of her. I returned to work and started to study for my degree, which I did part time whilst working. I had a very flexible working environment and was able to longer shifts and less days and they gave me time off to study, when I worked my baby spent the days with her dad or grandparents and I have no hesitation in saying that this has enriched her life greatly.
10 years on I am very successful and working in a senior nursing position (DON), I am finishing my masters degree and am extremely content with both home and work life. It's about balance, I am motivated and ambitious and want to continue to progress in nursing, however without having the experience of being a parent I feel my life would be so much poorer.
That's not to say being a parent is the right choice for everyone, but for me it has been an enriching and rewarding choice and one I would do again in a heartbeat if I were able.
As far as how it's affected my career, it hasn't I am where I planned to be in both my personal and professional life. Had I been able to have more children then maybe my professional plans would have taken a little longer but I would have still got there.
Jun 1, '09From: US ; Joined: Feb '09; Posts: 170; Likes: 94Quote from Ellean55Excuse me?Hi I just wanted to point out that - pregnancy is not something that is thrown into one's lap. Gone are the days when women had no control over their fertility. So when I hear of any woman saying I have got xxxx amount of children and I am still in nursing school - IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY!! Why do some women believe that being pregnant is the only way to motivate themsleves to have a career?? I have a career and dont have any children so I dont understand why that should be the case.
I planned on having children and chose this path. I wanted children more than I wanted a career at that point in my life. I wanted to be a mom in my 20's and get the child rearing done while I was young rather than focus on my carreer and getting my degree and starting a family later. It may be hard for you to understand or believe, but most of us who are parents LOVE being parents and wouldn't have it any other way. I'm one of those you speak of. Having kids DID make me more motivated to finish school and accomplish my dreams of becoming a nurse. I AM doing better in school now than I ever did before I had kids. I know there are plenty of people who don't need kids to give them motivation and I was never implying that one "should" have kids in order to have that motivation. I was merely answering your original question and telling my story. Having kids not only gave me the most joy and love I've ever experienced in my life, but they have motivated me to be a better, stronger person and to succeed in ways I never even dreamt I was capable of before. You don't understand that and I don't expect you to. But that is the truth.
I've read all of your postings on this issue and it seems like YOU are the one who has an issue with children. Why such the fasination if you despise them so much and are so happy with your life without them? I have no problem with your choice not to have children, but what I do have a problem with is your attitude against those of us that do have children. If you have people that you work with who complain about their kids all the time, why not make the topic about that. Your question was "how has having children/not having children affected your carreer" or something to that affect. When people who have children posted their replies all you've come back with is insults and snide little remarks about how horrible it must be to have kids, what a burden they must be, and how happy you are that you don't have them. That is pretty rude and disrespectful. Like the other poster said, I don't see the respect going both ways.