How has having/not having children affect your career?

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I would like to ask what impact has having children/being childless been on your career?

As usual I am getting flack because I said I didnt want children

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As usual I am getting flack because I said I didnt want children

Actually, I think you're getting flack because you made derogatory remarks about those who have children. There's a difference. Plenty of us said we don't want children, but you're getting flack.

I know for me, many times it's not the message that gets me in trouble....but the delivery of that message. I think that might be the case here.

Peace,

CuriousMe

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Specializes in School Nursing.

OP, I don't have children, so I sort of get where you are coming from, but I think you are getting flack because the tone of your posts seems angry, and you seem to resent nurses who do have children. I don't get why you seem to be degrading nurses who choose to have children? I have not heard anyone berate you for your choice, why do you have to do so for theirs?

We all make choices. There is no right or wrong choice when it comes to having kids, it is a very personal decision. Same goes with career choices. If everyone stopped having children because they are such a burden, then there would be no one left, and no new nurses to care for you when you get old and sick!

I don't know about anyone else, but I am starting to think troll on this one.

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Specializes in ER, Surgery.
As usual I am getting flack because I said I didnt want children

Your not getting flack because you said you don't want children, your getting flack because your generalisations about children and women who do want and have children are quite frankly offensive and rude

so glad I am NOT stuck at home with screaming children and a career that is forced to be stagnant because of the "kids" They do slow your life down I dont care WHAT people say on the matter and can even ruin it sometimes.

Hi I just wanted to point out that - pregnancy is not something that is thrown into one's lap. Gone are the days when women had no control over their fertility. So when I hear of any woman saying I have got xxxx amount of children and I am still in nursing school - IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY!! Why do some women believe that being pregnant is the only way to motivate themsleves to have a career?? I have a career and dont have any children so I dont understand why that should be the case.

Who wants kids - they are such a drain. I feel sorry for any woman that has that burden (sorry joy)

These nurses I met - were complaining, etc some of these nurses I worked with were so bitter - that you wondered why they were mothers at all. So please do not think I am dissing ALL nurses who become parents. That is NOT the case.
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I got married at 18 and had my son at 22. I had my associates degree in business and *thought* I had my life plan in set at that point and was beyond thrilled to welcome my little man into our lives.

Now, in hindsight, I know that I was just so excited about starting a family that I convinced myself that I no longer wanted to go to nursing school so I wouldn't have a reason to not have a baby.

My "baby" turns 4 today (and don't let him know I called him a baby! :) ) and is the total light of my life...but BOY does he put a cramp into my school/study time! Not only my study time but my school time as well. I schedule my classes as much as I can around his schedule and to try and make sure I get as much time w/ him as possible (I work FT as well). I also don't have the luxary of working a PT job while going to school because kids are expensive!

If I could do it all over again, I'd go to school first and establish my career and then have Peyton.

In the Pro's side of it though, like other posters have said I think being a mom helps me w/ the multi-tasking skills and makes me more motivated to do well in my classes because this isn't just MY future, but his too.

As far as the other debate going on, I really respect the child free by choice people. I think it's great that you know yourself enough to know that children are not right for you. I know a lot of people that SHOULD have been CFBC but felt that having children is just what you do as you get older and are miserable as parents. I'm kind of in a unique position because I do have a child so the CFBC people don't "get" me, but I also have an only child by choice so 99% of the child bearing people in our country think i'm nuts too lol.

I get MANY MANY comments on a daily basis about my decision to only have one child so I can sympathize w/ those of you who are tired of people commenting on what they think you should do w/ your reproductive organs!

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Specializes in ICU.

I don't know about anyone else, but I am starting to think troll on this one.

Actually, me too.

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I get MANY MANY comments on a daily basis about my decision to only have one child so I can sympathize w/ those of you who are tired of people commenting on what they think you should do w/ your reproductive organs!

I'm glad you pointed this out. It really does illustrate how stupid it is for people to be so concerned with our business, right? It doesn't really matter what you do, people will always criticize you if they want to. I do think we can agree though, that people who choose to have no children, or only one, do get quite a lot of flak for it.

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Specializes in ICU.

Trust me, everyone gets flack for something. Parents get flack for so many differnt things it's almost comical. Breastfeeding vs. formula. Stay-at home moms vs. working moms. Private school vs. public school vs. homeschooling. Kids having tempertantrums in public but parents scared discipline will be viewed as abuse.

No kids, one kid, five kids, there never seems to be an all around acceptable number. It really is a shame people can't respect others choices.

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Sadly there is still an element of suspision about women who have reached a certain age and remain childless. Its unfortunate but true. Its percieved that if you dont want children you are either:-

* Spoiled

* Selfish

* Cruel

* Seen as less of a woman* because you havent had children

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Specializes in Medical and general practice now LTC.

Well I would love children unfortunately dh has had radiotherapy etc and can't have them. People have their own reasons on whether they have or do not have children and to be honest that is their right and choice and doesn't bother me one way or another

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Specializes in Psychiatry.
I have a wonderful home, fabulous car, can travel, have lots of wonderful friends, can hang out in wine bars etc. I am happy with my life, so glad I am NOT stuck at home with screaming children and a career that is forced to be stagnant because of the "kids".

:yeah::yeah::yeah:

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Specializes in Psychiatry.
Sadly there is still an element of suspision about women who have reached a certain age and remain childless. Its unfortunate but true. Its percieved that if you dont want children you are either:-

* Spoiled

* Selfish

* Cruel

* Seen as less of a woman* because you havent had children

Isn't that ridiculous? I'm 38, been married for 14 years and have no children BY CHOICE.

I have had people tell me that it's "odd" to not have children... what??

Isn't it more selfish to have children because society thinks you should, not because you want them? You would turn out to be a selfish parent because you wouldn't give you kids the attention they need, etc.

Great post. I agree 100%. I hate that society "AS A WHOLE" judges those of us without kids.

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