How has having/not having children affect your career?

Daytonite, BSN, RN · May 31, 2009

I volunteer to work every Christmas Eve and Christmas for those with kids when I am scheduled in return for them working New Year's or July 4th for me. I spent my holidays with my brothers and their kids and got to go home and not have to deal with all the dramas. I was just with my sister yesterday. Her son totaled his second car early yesterday morning. I had to listen to them preaching to him. He's 20. If he doesn't realize by now what he did wrong (he was tired and fell asleep at the wheel), all the preaching in the world won't help. I just gave him a hug and told him I was glad he wasn't hurt. I have two cats that are now about 15 years old. They are my kids.

tfleuter, BSN, RN · May 31, 2009

Before I had children, I took two semesters going to school part time while working full time. I didn't know what I wanted to do, just took random pre-reqs and got mediocre grads. I had so much time available to me that I should have gotten straight A's, but instead I focused more on enjoying life. Not necessarily a bad thing, but not good for the gpa either, lol!

I married at 20, pregnant a month later and stopped going to school. I decided to got back to school 2 years later to become a veterinary technician. I was trying to work full time, go to school 3/4 part time and be a mother to a 2yr old. Eventually I came to realize that this career path was not a good choice for me and being a mother had a huge impact on that decision.

I took a semester off before enrolling in my nursing pre-reqs. I quit the job and only took 9-10 credits each semester so I would have plenty of time to study AND be with my son. A year later I was (unexpectedly) pregnant again and had my 2nd son 3 weeks before finals. That was not fun, but I managed! I have a 3.87 gpa now and before I had kids I would have never believed that I could do that well in school.

Having kids has definately forced me to careful with how I use my time and it has been a huge motivating factor for me to do well! The biggest thing that has helped me is having a supportive husband and extended family. If I had to do this as a single mom w/out a strong support system my experience would probably be different. Having kids gave me motivation and focus. Have a support system gave me the ability to actually do it.

There are opportunities that were available to me that I turned down because I am a mother, but I don't regret even for a second making that choice because the joy and happiness that I feel from my children makes up for it a hundred times over. I know this may sound corny to some, but for me its the absolute truth :redbeathe

coffee4metech · May 31, 2009

Oh man I just survived my first year of having my first little one she will be a year old in June!!!!! My confidence level in myself has risen to a new height I have done things for myself now that I would have never done before I had my girl. She has given me a outlook and confidence in life , trust me once you survive kids you can take on anything !!!!! Children enchance every aspect of your life and give you a sense of accomplishment and adding a career to that would be the icing on the CAKE of LIFE !!!!!!

kjsquared · May 31, 2009

i definitely feel as though it has been easier for me to go to school and work full time without children. i have made a conscious choice to put off having children until i graduate, but i know it isn't always as easy as that. i know lots of mothers and parents who go to school and i see how much harder it is for some of them at times.. but i everyone makes it work! i can't imagine how much "harder" my life would be if i had children to take care of as well and the intense load of studying and working...i truly applaud all those who are mothers, single mothers, dads, etc..and make the time and effort to go to school! :yeah:

CuriousMe · May 31, 2009

When I was in my 20's I decided that children weren't a priority for me. That decision allowed me to to take jobs in my past career (technology) that brought me all over the world and often didn't pay as well (I worked for non-profits). I've been to 5 continents, lived on a ship for 4 years, seen amazing things and worked with phenomenal people all over the world. I wouldn't have made those same choices if I had children.

Now that I'm settling down and actually living someplace , I'm considering what I want in this season of my life. After I'm working as an FNP and my life is a bit more stable, I think I'd like to adopt or foster. I think there are a lot of kids out there that could use a safe home.

Peace,

CuriousMe

missybear88 · May 31, 2009

i definitely feel as though it has been easier for me to go to school and work full time without children. i have made a conscious choice to put off having children until i graduate, but i know it isn't always as easy as that. i know lots of mothers and parents who go to school and i see how much harder it is for some of them at times.. but i everyone makes it work! i can't imagine how much "harder" my life would be if i had children to take care of as well and the intense load of studying and working...i truly applaud all those who are mothers, single mothers, dads, etc..and make the time and effort to go to school!

i second this completely. i've also made the decision of not having kids until i finish my graduate degree (aka not for a long time). i work ft and go to school, i cannot imagine what life would be like now if i had a little one. i have friends that juggle kids and school/work and it's truly astounding what they can go through. i have a 3.6 gpa, and it's a struggle sometimes without the added pressure of taking care of child(ren). a big, fat kudos to all the parents (especially single parents) who can pull off work, school and time for their kids! you all are amazing! :heartbeat

NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN · May 31, 2009

I don't have children and I can't imagine getting through NS with kids. I give props, kudos, and high fives to all the mothers especially single moms whom is in NS while taking care of their children. You all are strong and I don't know if I'd be able to do that.

Ellean55 · May 31, 2009

As for me I want to get the best out of my nursing career, so no family for me.

kayty2339 · May 31, 2009

I married at 18 but we didn't have our first child until I was 22. During those 4 years of having no children, I took classes and started out wanting to be a nurse, but changed my mind a few times. The classes that I took, I did not try hard at, dropped a class each semester out of pure laziness. I was totally unmotivated for school. I had all the time in the world to do great, but I just didn't want it bad enough. I was more focused on having fun and being young--going out every weekend, etc. It wasn't until after having kids that I was finally motivated to go back to school and actually do very well. I now have 2 kids, a 4 year old and 1 year old and have been working full time during the day and taking pre-req and co-req. classes part time. Since being in school after having children, I have aced all my classes and still continue to surprise myself at how well I am doing. I am better at time management than I ever was before. It is hard to study at home, so thankfully I have a job where I can study when it is slow and that's where I get most of my studying done. I am actually doing better in my class right now than a friend of mine who has no kids. I read the book and study a lot more than he does and he doesn't even have a job or kids. It really is about motivation and time management. If you have that, even having kids won't slow you down. When I get into the program I plan on either working a part time job or not working at all. Because I know the program will be much harder and require more study time from me. I will probably have to supplement my income with student loans, but if that's what it takes, that's what I will do. I'm not going to let anything stop me from achieving this goal.

So to answer your question simply: Having kids has helped me be a better student than I ever was before.

workingmomRN · May 31, 2009

I went through nursing school without children and wondered how those in school that did have kids managed to do it. After having been childless for 5 years as a nurse, I got a great blessing when I had my daughter. The main challenge now is that the working hours did not matter before, but now they do. Most nursing jobs have really crappy hours if you are lacking any help in getting the kids to school. Most MD offices don't want RNs anymore because they cost too much, so now they have CMAs. It's really hard to find something that allows you to take the kids to school & then go to work.

kayty2339 · May 31, 2009

I went through nursing school without children and wondered how those in school that did have kids managed to do it. After having been childless for 5 years as a nurse, I got a great blessing when I had my daughter. The main challenge now is that the working hours did not matter before, but now they do. Most nursing jobs have really crappy hours if you are lacking any help in getting the kids to school. Most MD offices don't want RNs anymore because they cost too much, so now they have CMAs. It's really hard to find something that allows you to take the kids to school & then go to work.

I've thought about how I'm going to do the normal 7-7 shift and get the kids to school and pick them up. My husband is a firefighter and his schedule is 7-7 24 hr shift. So he wouldn't get home in time for me to go to work and him take the kids to school when he's coming off shift. I'm guessing I will either have to work prn and schedule around his schedule or find somebody to take them/pick them up on those days. I'm hoping it will work out when the time comes!

It sure would be nice if the hospitals had more options for shifts. I'm sure there are plenty of nurses/hospital staff who have kids to get to school in the mornings.

NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN · May 31, 2009

I went through nursing school without children and wondered how those in school that did have kids managed to do it. After having been childless for 5 years as a nurse, I got a great blessing when I had my daughter. The main challenge now is that the working hours did not matter before, but now they do. Most nursing jobs have really crappy hours if you are lacking any help in getting the kids to school. Most MD offices don't want RNs anymore because they cost too much, so now they have CMAs. It's really hard to find something that allows you to take the kids to school & then go to work.

You can do school nursing ! Perfect hours for those who have children. Weekends and holidays off. :yeah: