Would you put your family member in a LTC facility?

[Cattitude]

What I'm learning about LTC facilities scare me. I know there must be some good ones out there somewhere????

But really, between staffing issues, cheap owners who shortchange on supplies, MD's who don't want to be bothered.

Is there anyone here who would put there family member in a nursing home? I think of the day when my mother will need care. She is ambulatory now but in the next several years may not be.

I have other options but what about people who don't?

Would you do it? I think I would be very nervous to do so. I know there are wonderful nurses and CNA's in LTC. But not enough to do the job safely. What's the solution?

[chevyv, BSN, RN]

Eldercare is similar to babycare except that most elders are able to help themselves more, are heavier, can appreciate good/bad care, and don't cry as much (usually). They can be just as annoying.........not quite as cute, sometimes stink as much......but does that mean our culture should give them less consideration, pass them to others for housing, feeding, etc.?[/b']

We all know we'd never do that to our babies. Why do we do it to our parents? Most societies in other countries consider it the responsibility of family to care for elders.

I think raising our babies is alot different than caring for our elders. When your dealing with dementia, it's so much more difficult. Sundowning is not fun for anyone. Sometimes, many families just cannot provide the constant 24 hr care that some elderly need. It's not just food, clothing, bathing, and shelter that many people need as they age. Safety is a huge issue as people with dementia tend to wander regardless of the weather. There have been many articles in newspapers about people with Alzheimers wandering off and getting lost during severely cold temps in nothing but pj's (no slippers/shoes). I took care of a pt many years ago that was found 'lost' driving around and around in an elementary school parking lot. It was very scary for the pt and the school.

We should also address the amount of single parent households here in America. How can a single person raise their children, work full time (plus), and care for aging parents? With our baby boomers reaching retirement age, I fear this dilemma will get much worse before a better solution is enacted. UGH, how frustrating!

[Junebugfairy]

i am 26, my father is 83 and my mother is in her 60's. my parents are divorced.

both my sister and i cared for our father in our own homes for close to 6 years. we had always said that we could never place him in a home, because we wanted to care for him ourselves. i was a cna too, and had a lot of experience dealing with dementia and ltc patients.

4 strokes later, (he has alzheimers disease) he was total care, exceptionally combative, and would yell and hit my sister and i.

he did not have insurance for ltc, and had spent all of his money having 'fun' before he became ill, so we could not pay out of our own pockets for a 24/7 home care.

i am currently on my way to earning my rn :)

dealing with a 70 some odd year old father in your early 20's is not easy.. here i am trying to go to school and make my life, and suddenly i have to focus one someone else..

my father is in a snf, a nice one in the nc mountains. he had always wanted to retire in the mountains.. he is not doing well now, we have a 'do not treat order' because his quality of life is so poor that it makes me sad.

i do not judge anyone that makes the choice to place their loved ones in a snf or ltc facility. it is not always realistic to assume that we can be everything and do everything for our loved ones, as much as we wish we could..

[lamazeteacher]

Not__A___Hat___Person stated that elderly "warehoused" persons "deserved it", to which I must call attention and decry!

Herecomestrouble professed that parents of babies have more energy.

Please believe that my post in no way meant that I expected the care of an elderly individual was to be given by family members (unless they can, and really want to do that). Most insurance coverage, including Medicare provides

in home nursing/attendant care. It is far less expensive than that charged by facilities, and if it is given in the home of the individual needing care, that is their space where they have been secure (yes, "sundowners" causes insecurity, but in the morning the person may likely be more secure).

If dysharmony between family members and the elderly person needing care exists, then of course it is best if they aren't in close proximity. The intent of my post was to present a case for direct family oversite of the care given disabled elderly persons, rather than that which is often not optimal in a facility. Not all families can rectify wrongs from the past, but in creating the opportunity, miracles can happen - with the help of professionals, or without that.

I didn't intend to judge families with elders in residential care. Sometimes the "last ditch" solution is the only possible one. But please consider it that.

As anyone who has given nursing care to debilitated elders knows, their needs can be similar to those of infants: to be maintained in cleanliness, given appealing food when hungry (which may not be at the times facilities serve residents), be taken to the doctor or have their symptoms communicated to PCPs, having their needs anticipated and acceptance/love no matter how unappealing they may seem.

Babies are so cute, it's easier to find them appealing; and past hurts can influence the appeal of elders adversely. What is safest is best, always.

[withasmilelpn]

"......would be very nervous to do so. I know there are wonderful nurses and CNA's in LTC. But not enough to do the job safely. What's the solution?" quote from OP, cattitude.

What a great subject!

When we were born or had our own babies, did anyone think the baby was so much work, we'd have to put them in a facility where they'd get care we couldn't give them?

Eldercare is similar to babycare, except that most elders are able to help themselves more, are heavier, can appreciate good/bad care, and don't cry as much (usually). They can be just as annoying.........not quite as cute, sometimes stink as much......but does that mean our culture should give them less consideration, pass them to others for housing, feeding, etc.?

We all know we'd never do that to our babies. Why do we do it to our parents? Most societies in other countries consider it the responsibility of family to care for elders.

Somehow in the USA where lack of health insurance is rampant, greedy (sound familiar?) corporate heads of nursing homes made inroads, playing into the somewhat selfish mentality of those in the prime of their lives, who want to palm off their family responsibilities. Although keeping family members of advanced age at home is much less expensive than housing them elsewhere, it appeals to many adult children. It's less disruptive for them.

I've worked in home health, visiting patients in nursing homes to admit them to care and manage the cases. The revelations I've had

about those places has alarmed me. In the community where I live now, the fact has surfaced that 1:8-10 of the "residents" have been registered sex offenders, and do attack other residents sexually. Yet no information about their status as such is given prospective residents' families. It was bad enough to hear about wayward staff of such facilities! They are dangerous places for anyone not in charge of all their faculties.

It's true that some privately hired home healthcare workers have similar mental problems, and haven't been monitored in the home as they should. The same equipment one would use to observe nannies, is available for elder situations at home.

Costco had low cost systems available, but I haven't seen them there lately. It would not be allowed for the families' observation in a facility. Surveillance video equipment needs to be in use in elders' living quarters whenever a family member is not in the home, or if the door is closed to the elderly person's room while they receive care.

It just isn't possible for government monitoring agencies to provide sufficient (24/7) supervision for safety in facilities for the elderly and disabled. That is something they took on due to demand caused by outrageous indignities/injury suffered in those places where financial gain supercedes human rights.

What's the solution? Keep loved ones at home and be there for them, hiring caregivers who are trustworthy (do background checks of anyone working in homes with children and elderly or disabled persons). In these tough financial times, with foreclosures lurking at the door of many homes, if elderly family members have paid off their mortgages, that housing can be a Godsend for their families who assume responsibility for the care of their elderly family members.

Yes, it can also be trying, as earlier hurts may surface. This could be an opportunity to work through earlier childhood problems and manage care of those who cared for us.

The baby argument doesn't work because many of us actually end up needing daycare so we can work etc. and kids do eventually become more self sufficient and go to school... The elderly with medical needs can be MUCH harder to care for than a child. You can't use playpens or gates to keep them safe like you do with children. Take high functioning alzhiemer patients for example. They are likely to leave things unattended on a stove, wander off, and can be violent at times as well. You can be authoritative with children, with adults that doesn't work well. When children fall, they often don't break bones like the elderly do. There simply aren't enough caregivers to hire either. I could go on and on, really. Some people just aren't going to be able to take care of their parents at home, no matter what. I do feel that Nursing homes should be staffed as if they were child day care centers. We seem to understand that our youngest members of society require strict staffing ratios to keep them safe. I have never understood why we continue to fail to require safe staffing ratios for our eldest as well.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

While I hated it, I did put my mother in a NH and she lasted only 6 days. However, she had had a major CVA and there was no issue with the care. My MIL had a CVA also and lived in several NH for a total of 6 years.

My father, on the other hand, had plenty of money so he went to an assisted living facility and paid for the upgraded services which amounted to a NH.

The moral of this story is: don't be old and poor.

[lamazeteacher]

FairyCari, TraumaRUS and ChevyU

You're absolutely right. Situations vary. It's a matter of space, really, and making it safe by taking precautions (locked locks on doors, supervision when young children are with disabled elders), hiring staff to care for the family member (not taking it on yourself) is what makes it possible.

Repite is needed for anyone having responsibility for others needing constant care. Home Health Agencies can do that, but are costly, so may be the solution for only short term help. They do provide Registered Nurse supervision and planning for care, which gives the opportunity for sharing new approaches/ideas by very experienced professionals.

I'm asking that families look at what they can do, rather than automatically thinking that any elderly person requiring care/supervision needs to be placed in facilities. Yes, it interupts the (sometimes) calm flow of activities, or hectic "made it through the day" types of environments.

I was a single mother and frequently felt so isolated from my loved ones, I would have preferred to have the responsibility for the care of a parent, than the loneliness I experienced, and lack of a (?senile) shoulder to lean on. Hindsight is 20/20.

However we only have the path we took. I wanted to point the way to other paths open for family members who previously may have thought that only facilities were available to care for elderly disabled folks.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

i'm going to catch heat for this, but some of the "warehoused" elderly deserve it. i had a job with a lot of elderly clients. some would tell-hair raising stories about abusing their kids, or telling them they weren't welcome if they "married that [insert ethnic slur]", didn't come back to church, or didn't cut their hair. in the next breath, they would lament that their kids never called or visited, and they never saw their grandkids. there's no excuse for elder abuse, but sometimes it's karma.

you're not going to catch any heat from me! i agree with you. sometimes you reap what you sow.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

not__a___hat___person stated that elderly "warehoused" persons "deserved it", to which i must call attention and decry!

[

actually, what she said is that while there's no excuse for "elder abuse", some of those "warehoused elderly" who don't ever get visits from their children and grandchildren and aren't welcome to live with their children or grandchildren (provided that those children and grandchildren are able to care for them) are left all alone in nursing homes because they abused, mistreated or drove away their families. and i agree with her.

[casi, ASN, RN]

When my parents get to the point that they need one, yes I will. This may change as I get older, but right now I would.

I think the biggest thing for me would be finances. My parents haven't made some very bad choices that have them currently sitting far in debt. I also have no clue where I or my parents will be when that time comes. I may not be geographically able to care for them.

[Not_A_Hat_Person, RN]

Not__A___Hat___Person stated that elderly "warehoused" persons "deserved it", to which I must call attention and decry!

No, I said some of them deserve it, specifically the ones who abused, disowned, or estranged their kids, then expected to be taken care of in old age. You can't burn a bridge and expect to re-cross it later.

[lamazeteacher]

actually, what she said is that while there's no excuse for "elder abuse", some of those "warehoused elderly" who don't ever get visits from their children and grandchildren and aren't welcome to live with their children or grandchildren (provided that those children and grandchildren are able to care for them) are left all alone in nursing homes because they abused, mistreated or drove away their families. and i agree with her.

uh, ruby vee, your interpretation was sweet, but this is what i said:

"if dysharmony between family members and the elderly person needing care exists, then of course it is best if they aren't in close proximity. the intent of my post was to present a case for direct family oversite of the care given disabled elderly persons, rather than that which is often not optimal in a facility. not all families can rectify wrongs from the past, but in creating the opportunity, miracles can happen - with the help of professionals, or without that.

i didn't intend to judge families with elders in residential care. sometimes the "last ditch" solution is the only possible one. but please consider it that."

i really think that it's unwise for adult children to take over the nursing care of their elderly, disabled parent(s). you can burn out more quickly doing that, than someone who gets to go home after a shift with them. we must lobby insurance companies that don't provide this coverage, to cover home care 24/7, rather than pay the higher bills for profit making institutional care. those elderly folks who are able, may benefit more having day care at a well rated place, to socialize (just as preschoolers do). they need more than physical care. that is also better than staying with familoy members day in, day out. :heartbeat

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

not__a___hat___person stated that elderly "warehoused" persons "deserved it", to which i must call attention and decry!

[

uh, ruby vee, your interpretation was sweet, but this is what i said:

"if dysharmony between family members and the elderly person needing care exists, then of course it is best if they aren't in close proximity. the intent of my post was to present a case for direct family oversite of the care given disabled elderly persons, rather than that which is often not optimal in a facility. not all families can rectify wrongs from the past, but in creating the opportunity, miracles can happen - with the help of professionals, or without that.

i didn't intend to judge families with elders in residential care. sometimes the "last ditch" solution is the only possible one. but please consider it that."

i really think that it's unwise for adult children to take over the nursing care of their elderly, disabled parent(s). you can burn out more quickly doing that, than someone who gets to go home after a shift with them. we must lobby insurance companies that don't provide this coverage, to cover home care 24/7, rather than pay the higher bills for profit making institutional care. those elderly folks who are able, may benefit more having day care at a well rated place, to socialize (just as preschoolers do). they need more than physical care. that is also better than staying with familoy members day in, day out. :heartbeat

the post of yours i was responding to was the first; the one where you said that not_a_hat_person stated that elderly "warehoused persons' deserved it. my reply was that you misunderstood what she said. your reply to my post was a bunch of professional jargon which doesn't seem to address either the point that you misinterpreted (or misstated) what not_a_hat_person said or that i agreed with her. in fact, i'm not getting why you quoted me prior to re-iterating your jargon.