Woes of A Foreign Nurse

deny121375

I was only 29 years old when I came here to work as a nurse. I was what they call a "foreign nurse". I was born and raised in the Philippines and was fortunate to land a job in one of the hospitals in Upstate New York.

To get the job, I applied through an agency in the Philippines. It was not easy to apply, I was not hired right away. It took me 2 years to meet the requirements so I could come here. I needed to pass three to four tests to qualify: TSE (Test for Spoken English) exam, TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language), CGFNS (Commission on Graduates of Foreign Nursing Schools) exam so I can get a VISA screen certificate, and lastly the NCLEX (National Council Licensure Examination) so I can get my nursing license to practice here in US.

Not all who applied were fortunate, some were not able to complete all the requirements because of financial constraints. The tests I mentioned were not free; one has to pay in dollars. Coming from a third world country, paying in dollars is a huge amount of money. Our Philippine currency is so small and insignificant compared to the US dollar. I know some of my friends who applied had to sell their lands or get a big loan from the bank just to pay the fees, but it was still not a guarantee to get the job; one has to pass all the tests. My dad who worked outside the country provided me with the financial support I need. Without him I wouldn't be able to afford to pay for them.

My port of entry was in Detroit. It was an ordeal for me to find the next flight and to ask for directions as it was my first travel outside the country. Though I studied and passed the English language test, I wasn't prepared for the language and culture shock. When I arrived in upstate NY I didn't know anyone - I have no family, no relatives, no friends.

I only have a thousand dollars in my pocket and relying on the job contract that I signed - a contract for 2 and 1/2 years in the hospital. Included in the contract was a temporary housing for 6 months with a low rent fee, then after 6 months I was on my own to find a place to stay. I met and gained some friends and little by little I was adapting to my new environment. My friends back home told me I was living the American dream but it was far from that...my early years here in the US were not a bed of roses.

So I started working as a nurse extern; though I passed my NCLEX I was not given the full responsibility of a nurse because I lacked training. The hospital was kind enough to fill the lack by setting up training sessions in between my duties. If there is a word beyond exhaustion, that was what I felt every time my day ended.

As a "foreign nurse" the major challenge was the equipment. The gadgets were amazing, top of the line, and cost a lot of money. Every where I looked all rooms were fully equipped with different machines. There were lots of beeping sounds and endless supplies of medical necessities. It was intimidating at first; I wasn't use to these machines but I had to adapt in order for me to learn. I needed to push myself more and get out of my comfort zone or else I would fail. And in my vocabulary, there is no word for fail.

I have no one to support me, to motivate me...just me. I needed to survive because what I call home was a thousand miles away from here and going back is not an option, I don't have the money for the plane fare.

Not all I worked with were accommodating, understanding and had the patience to work for a "foreign nurse" like me. While others took time to slow down their pace so I could catch up, others treat me as someone who shouldn't be here because when it comes to the machines, I admit I was clueless and awkward.

Not only did I struggle in this aspect, I also had difficulty with the language barrier. I speak and understand English but I wasn't used to speak and hearing the language 24/7 a day. I could feel my brain and my mouth shut down after a couple of hours talking in a different language. It was harder to absorb, to comprehend what was being said, to concentrate on my tasks and to follow instructions. Add anxiety and nervousness to the picture and I was a bundle of nerves everyday.

It was evident in my dealings with my colleagues and patients that one nurse rudely said to me, "Why are you torturing yourself? Just go back to where you came from because you can't do this." That was the first time I cried myself to sleep because it was partly true. I was subjecting myself to physical and mental torture, trying to stretch my limit to fit in but I knew I can do this. I couldn't count how many times I cried in silence but surprisingly, I was like a barnacle who refused to get dislodged from my goal. I was determined to succeed, it was do or die.

My efforts paid off, my manager saw some potentials in me and she allowed me to train in a step-down unit in the Neuroscience department. I gained my full RN title and trained with Neurology and Neurosurgery cases. From the arterial lines, JP drains, ICP measuring, tube feeds, and drips, I was soaring high and I was making my mark as a "foreign nurse".

I wasn't the same after my training, a lot had changed within me. I was more knowlegable, more confident, tougher, and more mature. I learned to detach myself from my emotion so I wouldn't feel nostalgic for my family back home, to survive the criticisms and to accept change. This part of acceptance made my transition easier.

Looking back, I have come so far from that 29 year old green horn who came for an overseas nursing job. The experiences, the hardships, the criticisms both negative and positive will always be with me. I just hope whoever reads this article will be more supportive of the "foreign nurses" that will grace their path. May you be one of those people who inspires and motivates just like the ones I met who made my transition more meaningful and with ease. Because just like everyone else, we want to fit in and be successful in our chosen career no matter how different we are.

Woes of A Foreign Nurse

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