What do you think about dating your coworkers? - page 3
I was just curous what everyone thinks about dating a coworker. I'm not interested in doing it because I have a steady boyfriend. Where I work several people are married to each other. There have... Read More
Apr 16, '04Occupation: Operating Room Nurse Specialty: 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER ; From: US ; Joined: Jun '03; Posts: 17,036; Likes: 1,007Quote from Jailhouse RNPerhaps she has a sense of humor.~~~Women need a reason to have sex.......men just need a place.~~~
I guess you don't know very meny good men do you?
Anyway, the maturity of both people involved in the relationship is the factor on how well it's handled.
Apr 16, '04Occupation: RN. RPN. RM. general gofer Joined: Feb '03; Posts: 81; Likes: 2Met and married while working in the same hospital, often the same Unit, nearly 27 years ago so I can't say it doesn't work but Like Teeituptom if I tried to date any one at work now death would be very slow and painful.
I have also seen too many complications and problems from work place romances; not every one is like us.
Apr 17, '04Occupation: RN, MS home health Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 7,472; Likes: 49I did date someone I work with. Now we are married but no longer work together. I left the company after the relationship was present.
Apr 17, '04Specialty: 4 year(s) of experience in Critical Care, ER ; Joined: Jul '03; Posts: 1,578; Likes: 207Quote from renerianMe too. It sort of hurt my career, though.I did date someone I work with. Now we are married but no longer work together. I left the company after the relationship was present.
Apr 17, '04Joined: Jan '02; Posts: 5,673; Likes: 159It sure can complicate things can't it...dating someone we work with...it is also uncomfortable when the folks around you are having affairs AND married. Specially if we know the spouses.
Personally I prefer a professional workplace where the silliness, flirting and sexual attraction is saved for AFTER work. And I don't like to hear talk and gossip about personal lives of coworkers. It just leads to trouble too many times. Best to keep your personal life at home and stick to professional stuff at work, in my experience. I keep my workplace chitchat to a minimum when it comes to my personal life. These people are not necessarily your friends...I've learned that the hard way.
Not to say it can't be done, but it depends on the maturity of EVERYONE involved and that seldom can be assured.
Apr 17, '04Occupation: Retired Specialty: 15 year(s) of experience in Corrections, Psych, Med-Surg ; From: US ; Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 2,246; Likes: 48Risky.
Equally risky is NOT dating someone who might have turned out to be a (or THE, for those who believe such things) suitable partner.
You pays your money and you takes your choice.
Apr 17, '04Occupation: R.N. Specialty: 24 year(s) of experience in psych, medical, drug rehab ; From: GA, US ; Joined: Jun '03; Posts: 229; Likes: 53
I would defintely say it is very risky. It was always my policy NEVER to date someone I worked with. However, I broke my own rule a few years back when I moved into a new city and a new area of nursing. I dated a co worker who eventually cheated on me with a Doctor from the same unit. It was a fiasco and to this day I am ashamed to have been involved with a scenario like this.It was a very painful period for me and the situation was surrounded by gossip. It affected my career negatively because I felt compelled to leave my position and took anything available to do so.As a result of not really evaluating my options thoroughly I jumped into a position I was not well suited for.
Well, it has been 7 years since that time period and I am happily involved with a person who is into a totally different career track and in looking back I can defintely say that during that time period I experienced a "major spiritual/emotional growth spurt". LOL... but WOW... I would never knowingly do that again!
However, I have heard of other nurses that work, travel etc together and I think it can be a wonderful experience if you are professional while at work.
So I guess my bottom line is tread carefully, be professional and always pray for wisdom and good judgement.
Jun 7, '06Occupation: Staff RN Specialty: 3 year(s) of experience in Tele/ICU/MedSurg/Peds/SubAcute/LTC/Alz ; Joined: Aug '05; Posts: 260; Likes: 47Aww this forum skipped a beat. I really messed up... Dated someone at work, that another coworker hooked me up with... The coworker became the problem... Ugggg... :angryfire And people started talking because of the flirting someone was talking about... Talk about learning the hard way...
Jun 7, '06Joined: Jun '05; Posts: 198; Likes: 27Whenever I hear this question, I think of a great line from the movie, "Moonstruck." The character played by Olympia Dukakis quipped about workplace romances: "Don't sh** where you eat." Seemed to sum it up fairly nicely.
Jun 7, '06Occupation: On Sabbatical at present Specialty: 14 year(s) of experience in ER/ MEDICAL ICU / CCU/OB-GYN /CORRECTION ; From: US ; Joined: Apr '06; Posts: 292; Likes: 489Different unit or shift with different managers I see no harm ...
Same unit coworkers dating -- harm to you and your fellow person dating and coworkers patients has high potential risk
Supervisor role involved when dating a subordinate -- legal harm as well as eithical questions are abound.
I have worked where a supervisor dated a collegue even though they kept it "professional" it was professionally uncomfortable several times for others.
I feel in this situation even if the most strident attempts are made all are definately harmed regardless of outcome.
Anyone in a supervisor role dating an subordinate needs not to be a supervisor and for sure needs a good therapist and perhaps will need a lawyer.
1)to look at the need for inappropriate power over someone in an "equal relationship" /
2)to look for areas of boundry setting personally and professionally/
3) to look at the need to triangulate job dating and self and why this person you supervise,
3)the inabitlity to see the potential for sef destruction.
a lawyer for
1) potential sex harassement real or imagined if break up that can follow this relationship
2) others co workers complaining of favoritism or hostile work enviroment
3) when management finds out I do believe this could very much be grounds for demotion/reassignment or even termination for lack of descretion in a leadership role.
Perhaps one can not control the heart however one can control the behaviours that will affect those they lead and what they contribute to the work enviroment emotionally and the eventual trickle down to the patients we serve
MarcLast edit by SilentfadesRPA on Jun 7, '06
Jun 7, '06Occupation: 20+ yr RN Specialty: 15 year(s) of experience in Critical Care ; From: US ; Joined: May '05; Posts: 7,520; Likes: 4,0281st. This was a two yr old thread before today. (Just saying that many previous posters might not still be around).
2nd. I noticed that most of those suggesting it was a good idea were eventually MARRIED to the co-workers they dated. Not a bad deal. The problem, however, is normally in the BREAK-UP. And break-ups happen more often than marriage.
3rd. Been there, done that. Not pleasant when it falls apart. Wish I could take it back.
4th. Dont dip your nib in the office ink.