What do you think about dating your coworkers?

Monica RN,BSN · Apr 15, 2004

I have dated within the work place in years past. For the most part it did not present any problems. It became difficult though when once as a manager, I was dating one of the staff under my management. That makes for a problem. That is not advisable. When I was married to my ex husband, he and I worked in the same ER together.. also a bad plan.. When you have a bad day, it certainly affects everything... like mad at home and mad at work.. Geez... (Thank God he is an ex!)

But as far as nurses dating nurses, it happens all the time is usually not a problem as long as the professionalism to do your job remains intact.

Just my 2 cents worth.....

Tweety, BSN, RN · Apr 15, 2004

If it is affecting delivery of care to the patients then it's a management problem that needs to be documented and addressed.

We can't help who we fall for. Sometimes we spend so much time with a person we can't help but want to date them, etc. I would not want to work on the same unit with someone I was dating. If I found myself in that situation I would transfer to make it easier on myself.

My spouse works in the same hospital as me and it's not a problem as we rarely see each other at work. :)

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Apr 16, 2004

Different depts or different shifts, i'm ok with it. As long as it doesn't become workplace gossip.

RNPATL, DNP, RN · Apr 16, 2004

I once dated my boss. She was a great woman and had many friends at work. I did also. But, when the relationship started to fall apart, her friends all turned against me and it was one of the worst experiences I had ever encountered. I actually felt the need to leave the place I was workring and transfer to another facility. Fortunately, the hospital system I worked for then was big enough for both of us.

As a result of that experience, I made a decision that I would NEVER date anyone where I work. Just not a good thing to do. For those of you that have not yet gotten burned, trust me, you will and then you will understand. :rolleyes:

SmilingBluEyes · Apr 16, 2004

two words: bad idea!

sharann, BSN, RN · Apr 16, 2004

Since I am both married AND work with all women (I am female), I am against it. But generally, it almost always turns ugly

SnowymtnRN · Apr 16, 2004

Met and married my DH this way. LOL I think its a maturity thing on BOTH partners side. I mean, there's always going to be workplace gossip, so that was never an issue for us. We just ignored it, and kept our private lives private this way. HOWEVER if he or i were in management, then no i would advise against it. Simply because nothing good can come from that (coworkers, jealousy, the list is potentially endless.)

my DH and i have always enjoyed talking about work, etc...and we've always been able to be "coworkers" at work, and not spouses. KWIM? And if we are having an arguement, etc...we leave it at home usually cuz it just adds fuel to the gossip fire. But its doable if both parties are mature enough to handle it ya know?? OBVIOUSELY not in all cases, but i'd say overall its no big deal. I personally don't give a rat's you know what if someone is dating someone that we work with, etc...its none of my business.

Blackcat99 · Apr 16, 2004

It's a bad idea to date your co-workers. What usually happens is that there is a break-up and then it is so difficult emotionally to continue working at the job. I had to leave a job when my co-worker and I broke up because I couldn't deal with the pain of seeing that person anymore.

fergus51 · Apr 16, 2004

I don't think it's wise. You can never be sure how things will turn out should you breakup. Even if you're mature, he may act like a neanderthal. Not to mention the gossip factor....

stressednurse · Apr 16, 2004

Do what feels right at the moment, be professional and adult about it. Deal with the consequences if their are any. Why miss an opportunity in life cuz it didn't work for someone else? Fear not the unknown, challenge it, approach it and embrace it for it is your future.

aurora_borealis · Apr 16, 2004

After graduation a fellow student started dating a co-worker, so he transferred out to a different unit, mainly to avoid problems, it was his/their choice. They got married, all is well. I dated quite a few people from the workplace, but never, never, somebody from my unit. I could tell you stories, though, like the time a husband camped out at the CEO's door when he found out his wife was having an affair with a married doc. OOOh, that was good. Or the time a manager (married) was caught red handed with a married doc. And these people were not kids, they were well into their 40's. The worst time I had was after I broke up with an intern after a couple of years, (I should say he broke up with me, but at least we were both single) and a couple of months later he did a rotation on my unit....not a happy time, especially since he wasn't a very good doctor. Lots of tension all around, as my co-workers and I all tried to be professional, but they didn't like him either.