Things You'd Like To Tell Visitors . . . . and get away with it

Nurses General Nursing

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the other "things you'd like to tell" threads have been so great -- how about one more?

to the daughter of today's patient: i understand back pain, believe me. i've had the surgery and was off work for six months. don't tell me you're having such severe back pain that you need to sit in my chair -- the one that reaches all the way up to the computer keyboard -- instead of the visitor's chair (which i hunted high and low to find for you since we only have two on the whole 16 bed unit) when you're walking around in 5 inch stilettos. if your back pain were really that bad, you'd be wearing danskos like me. (or any type of shoe that doesn't involve a 5 inch -- or even 3 or 4 inch heel!) sit in the visitor's chair and be grateful that i found it for you. i'm sure your feet do hurt. again, try some more sensible shoes.

yes, your daughter does have dark skin on her forehead. it's the same color as the skin on the rest of her body. i assumed that was because she was african american, but you tell me she wasn't that color before her heart surgery? i'm baffled. no, i don't know what we can do about it, but i'm sure we didn't cause it. if you want to bring in cocoa butter to rub on her forehead, that's fine with me. you can put anything on her forehead you like, but i guarantee you she'll still be an african american when we discharge her. (oh, that's a picture of your daughter on the wall? she has bangs, but otherwise she looks the same color in the picture as she does right now. if i were you, i'd be more worried about the ventilator and the left ventricular assist device.)

anyone else?

How about at the hospital I work at they just decided to extend visiting hours til 10:00pm!!! Try dealing with family that late at night!!

We already do deal with family round the clock. Had someone complain that the cafeteria was not open at 10pm. Then visit at a normal time brainbox!

Specializes in Med/Surg, ICU, educator.

My hospital has no set visiting hours, do not want to make the public upset. Helllloooo, sick people trying to rest and heal, but what the he** do I know :chuckle

this one wasn't funny...

broke my heart, actually.

mom of pt: i brought junior homemade chicken soup. when he was a child, it always helped him.

me: mrs. jones, how is junior going to eat this soup? he has been unconscious for close to 2 days now.

mom of pt: he'll wake up, you'll see...he'll wake up

(about her end-stage pancreatic ca, imminently-dying, cheyne-stoking son.)

gotta vacuum, but was actually thinking of this mother today...met someone who reminded me of her.

leslie

To the daughter stuffing a pt with laxatives: the next time grandma poops on the floor (uses a walker) while trying to get to the bathroom, I'll use YOUR FACE to clean it up.

In general to 90% of the visitors: SHADDUP! :D and GO HOME! :lol2:

Specializes in LTC, Med-SURG,STICU.

Hello, your family member is not my only resident. I have 30 other residents that need my attention also. In other words, I can not be at you and your loved ones beck and call. Also acting like a jerk is not going to get your loved one anymore attention because I will probably be avoiding your loved ones room until you leave.

If you had this problem at home would you be going to the ER or calling the doctor at home. Then why do you think that I should call the doctor on the weekend.

Why don't you come back why you have learned some manners and know how to treat other people?

Until you lose the attitude I will not be talking to you.

And you got your MD or nursing degree from where? Oh right, I forgot about the University of the Internet. I am sure your degree in I Know Just Enough to be Dangerous will serve you well.

Oh dang my butt just started hurting. Sure enough I look up and there you stand.

Specializes in Med/Surg.
this one wasn't funny...

broke my heart, actually.

mom of pt: i brought junior homemade chicken soup. when he was a child, it always helped him.

me: mrs. jones, how is junior going to eat this soup? he has been unconscious for close to 2 days now.

mom of pt: he'll wake up, you'll see...he'll wake up

(about her end-stage pancreatic ca, imminently-dying, cheyne-stoking son.)

gotta vacuum, but was actually thinking of this mother today...met someone who reminded me of her.

leslie

Denile can be heartbreaking. Poor lady.

Specializes in Med/Surg.

My titles says LPN, Not "personal servant"

No, I will NOT give you medication that you request, without a doctor's order and a medical reason. Yes, I will be monitoring you for medication side effects, and interactions between your thousands of pills. So, when I look up the fact you want that voltaren cream on your feet, and it causes your lasix to not work, when you're on daily weights, fluid restriction r/t CHF and chronic renal failure, you better believe that i'm not going to put that cream on your feet. get over it and swallow your blasted tylenol. Quit whining, I'm safe gaurding your health you miserable old bat. if you don't like it sign out AMA and get the heck off my unit. you've got all your mental faculties and still choose to be snotty to the nurses and CNAs who take care of you.

No, I am not going to give you any more pain medication. The 3-11 nurse gave you your lortab at 10pm, and it is given every 6 hours. If you're nice to me, I will call the physician and we'll get something started that will better control your pain. Don't yell at me, or call me a lousy b****because if you don't shut up, i'll be sure I get an injectable form of whatever medication that the physician prescribes, since you're pain is "so unbearable" and give you something to whine about. I'm sure your parents taught you better than that and they'd be ashamed of your behavior

Threaten bodily harm to me when i go to draw your blood, and see how quickly you end up on your back in 4point leather restraints, awaiting for the police to escort you to the nearest mental health facility for a 24 hour hold and psych eval.

No, I don't enjoy the fact that your husband is in pain. Have you not noticed i've been trying to contact the doctor to get him a different medication? I realize this. I understand this. I don't care how much you yell at me, the doctor won't call me back any sooner, and am not responsible for my water pitcher flying at your head!!!

I know your loved one is dying. I am sympathetic, and I do care. I will make sure that they stay comfortable. Please stop blaming yourself for the fact that Dad's dying of lung cancer. No there is nothing that you could have done to stop this, None of this is your fault. Please stop beating yourself up, because you're tearing my heart out with empathy. I can't tell you when your loved one will die. I'm not G-d. I don't make that kind of decisions.

No I can't just put Mom "out of her misery". I'm not G-d, I don't have the authority to give and take life. that's His decision, his decision alone. When he's ready your loved one will come home. last time i checked euthenasia is still considered murder

No, I will not give your loved one regular liquids when they choke and turn blue afterwards. I don't care what they did in the hospital. I doubt that you're telling me the truth.

Specializes in Public Health, TB.

1) Yes, I do have to wake your loved up now for meds, vs, FS, nebulizers, etc. I realize they have just had open heart surgery, that big slice in the middle of their chest gave it away. Perhaps if you would leave for more than 5 minutes at a time, they could get some rest.

2) What kind of genius brings a newborn to visit a patient who will be home in a few days?! Oh, right, you were here last year with baby's big brother, letting him crawl around on the floor. The same floor that people poo, pee, bleed and hock lugeys onto.

3) Actually, I have no clue as to when Dr. God will be rounding. But if you find out, can you let the rest of us know, we've been paging him for hours ourselves.

Specializes in LTC, geriatric, psych, rehab.

There are no visiting hours at our nsg home. So Ms. M's son, who just got out of prison, can show up at 2am, drunk, screaming b/c mom STILL isn't up and walking. I really want to say, "No S____, Sherlock! While you were in prison, mom had a bad car wreck, then a stroke during surgery, and now she is nonresponsive with a trach and a peg tube." But then what do you say after you tell him this (minus the No S___ Sherlock part), and he says, "Well, I'll be back tomorrow nite, and by God, she'd better be up walking, or I'm gonna sue the hell out of you guys." (This said as he is leaning on the wall to avoid falling in the floor) Unfortunately, he is not a drunk who forgets what he said, so the next nite he is back, less drunk, with the same thing.

What in the world do you say to such ignorance?

Specializes in LTC, Med-SURG,STICU.

I think that I would be telling Mr Jim Beam to go home and sober up before coming in to see Mom. I also think that calling 911 would not be totally out of line in this case. Honestly, some people are so clueless it makes you wonder how they live into adulthood.

Specializes in Case Management, Home Care, ICU, BMT,.

Just because you and your morbidly obese wife have decided that she should go to rehab instead of home with her wound vac, doesn't mean that your insurance company will agree with you. I don't care that the attending told you about rehab before surgery, he didn't write anything about it after surgery. I can arrange for you and patient/wife to go home, but if you want to go to rehab without insurance approval, be prepared to pay out of pocket.

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