Things You'd Like To Tell Visitors . . . . and get away with it

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

the other "things you'd like to tell" threads have been so great -- how about one more?

to the daughter of today's patient: i understand back pain, believe me. i've had the surgery and was off work for six months. don't tell me you're having such severe back pain that you need to sit in my chair -- the one that reaches all the way up to the computer keyboard -- instead of the visitor's chair (which i hunted high and low to find for you since we only have two on the whole 16 bed unit) when you're walking around in 5 inch stilettos. if your back pain were really that bad, you'd be wearing danskos like me. (or any type of shoe that doesn't involve a 5 inch -- or even 3 or 4 inch heel!) sit in the visitor's chair and be grateful that i found it for you. i'm sure your feet do hurt. again, try some more sensible shoes.

yes, your daughter does have dark skin on her forehead. it's the same color as the skin on the rest of her body. i assumed that was because she was african american, but you tell me she wasn't that color before her heart surgery? i'm baffled. no, i don't know what we can do about it, but i'm sure we didn't cause it. if you want to bring in cocoa butter to rub on her forehead, that's fine with me. you can put anything on her forehead you like, but i guarantee you she'll still be an african american when we discharge her. (oh, that's a picture of your daughter on the wall? she has bangs, but otherwise she looks the same color in the picture as she does right now. if i were you, i'd be more worried about the ventilator and the left ventricular assist device.)

anyone else?

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Specializes in CVICU.

GET OUT OF MY ROOM! Yes, I know your loved one is agitated and wigging out. Well, guess what? HE WAS FINE UNTIL YOU CAME IN HERE and started with waking up your father (who is intubated) and asking him "When are you going to get out of here? Who's going to feed the dog and pay the bills?!" I know this is a stressful time, but you live with him, so who broke your legs and rendered you helpless?

Well guess what?! If you had an ETT shoved down your trachea, you had previously been resting peacefully, and the last thing on your mind was paying the bills, wouldn't you be agitated too!?

Can I give both your father and you some Ativan? 1 mg for the patient, 1 mg for the family!

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Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, LTC.

No, I can't give him a shot to make his heart stop beating and cause him to die. I can give him a shot of Morphine to make him more comfortable, but no, I can not kill him for you.

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Specializes in ER, MICU, Med/Surg, Neuro.
No, I can't give him a shot to make his heart stop beating and cause him to die. I can give him a shot of Morphine to make him more comfortable, but no, I can not kill him for you.

this post made me LOL:yeah:

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
no, i can't give him a shot to make his heart stop beating and cause him to die. i can give him a shot of morphine to make him more comfortable, but no, i can not kill him for you.

i've been asked that more than once -- last time it was the minister who asked!

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Specializes in Derm/Wound Care/OP Surgery/LTC.

GO HOME!!!

please? :)

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Your family is in the hospital because they are sick. Stop walking them up, stop pulling on their equipment, turn down the tv and lower your voices. And stop eating in front of them knowing they can't eat the same right now. Have some respect for the patient.

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Specializes in Acute care, Community Med, SANE, ASC.

Great thread. Totally agree that visitors ask about the most inane, minor things when their loved one is hanging by a thread--it's as if they can't see the vent and the ventric coming out of their loved one's head, etc. I want to say things like, "I don't give a crap that your dad takes metamucil at home every day--today I'm going to concentrate on making sure he breathes and his heart pumps blood and maybe tomorrow we'll worry about whether or not he has a bowel movement.

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Specializes in IMCU.

To a son whose mother is in LTC:

"STOP using her toilet. You are peeing all over it and the floor. Its gross and she slipped last time she went to pee. WHY? Because your pee was all over the floor. Not only that but she doesn't have the physical ability to hover her bum above the seat which you have peed on."

To the same son:

"Buddy, as you insist on using the toilet in your mom's room please shut the frigging door! I have no desire to see you doing your business. Also, WASH YOUR BLOODY HANDS after you pee. Were you raised in a field?"

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Specializes in Med/Surg, ICU, educator.

NO-I am not your babysitter (to those that want to leave kids with the patient), and I'm not your maid/slave/cook either! I will gladly take care of the patient, and your needs related to the patient, but I am not a personal slave to all the guests :no:

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Specializes in IMCU.

"I know the nurse said your wife couldn't have any more pain medication for two hours but is it really necessary for you to chew me out when the nurse comes 2 minutes after the two hours are up? "

"I am sorry your wife is in pain. By the way, your wife seemed to do a bit better when I sat and talked with her and rubbed some lotion on her hands and arms...you know distracted her? Of course I am sure you sitting in the corner of the room, as far from her bed as possible, watching the "big game" with your pupils practically fixed & dialated is of great comfort to her...not. Why don't I just get you a cold beer and something on which to put your feet?"

OMG love this thread!

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Specializes in LTC, Acute Care.

I don't care if you're the pope; I'm not telling you anything about Archibald unless you're entitled to that information. Go ahead, threaten me. I'm pretty scrappy.

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