Taboo: 10 Things Nurses Should NEVER Say!

[Julie Reyes]

As nurses, we have learned the hard way to never say certain statements. Why? Well, that could be because the first time we said it - or heard it said - we got the "evil eye". Think back to the time you first heard some naive soul say, "WOW!, it sure is quiet today!" "Sure is slow", "Nothing has happened today", "We haven't had a code this week", and comments of the like - just are not acceptable!

If you are an experienced nurse (even with one day of experience), you will be able to testify to what will happen to the unfortunate employee who makes such a claim, right?! Let's just say that person is not the most popular person on the unit!

It is a fact. Some sayings are just taboo! What does that even mean? Taboo is, by definition, a social or religious custom prohibiting or forbidding discussion of a particular practice, or forbidding association with a particular person, place or thing. It is something that is prohibited or restricted by social custom.

We knock on wood if we say we have been having a good week, or we may reach out to touch the face of a beautiful child who is our patient so they don't have a turn for the worse. We cross ourselves and say a prayer when someone mentions the drug seeking patient (not currently a patient) who goes on a rampage when the doctor refuses to order the dilaudid. Therefore, speaking of such topics are prohibited!

So, what other topics is it that we as nurses don't want to hear? What is it that really grates on our nerves? Here are a few sayings...and the rationale behind it!

I interviewed some top notch nurses I know, and here is what they have to say on the subject:

1. Karen Martinez: "We're slow today." Why? It causes the floodgates to open wide and you will probably never get a potty break the rest of your shift!
2. Sylvia Nelson: "Our anesthesiologists have a thing against saying a child is calm, because then they wake up like a demon. I will never tell my surgeon I hope their night is quiet!"
3. Jennifer Collins: "It's been a good day!" That's when the *** hits the fan. Wait until your shift is over and you have given report!
4. Ashley Elizabeth: "I have a fantastic assignment!" - There is no such thing if you say it before the end of your shift....; "Calling a patient a 'stable vented patient'" will cause them to not be stable for long - you will be running a code in no time; "This patient is an easy stick." Your patient will suddenly become a turnip.
5. Cherrie Aquino: Telling parents, "Oh, he/she is the BEST IV starter!" Your patient will be a scientific marvel and have no veins.
6. Elissa Norris: "Don't ever mention the chronic kid (or adult patient) that has a crazy mom (or wife/husband/family member) - inevitably they show up!"
7. Carol Kaplan: "You should never, ever, repeat the name of a 'repeat offender' patient. You will admit that patient on your shift!"
8. Diana Montalvo: "The doctor will be in - just a few minutes." The doctor will not even be in the building...maybe not even in the country, since you said it!
9. Sarah Weishuhn: "As a surgical nurse, we never say, 'WOW!, there aren't any add on cases today?!' Because five minutes later, the bottom will fall out and we will have an open fracture, an appy, and a C-section...NOW!"
10. Sandra Cambridge: "Never comment on how well behaved a pediatric patient is until they are walking out the door." unless you wish to come face to face with the devil with the parent who has no control or expects you to be the nanny.

We learn to never say words like, 'quiet', 'boring', 'easy'. We never attribute these qualities to our patient(s), or the shift. We have learned, from having to jump in the trenches after these words are uttered, that these words will open up the gates of Hades and set forth a war that will cause you to have to wage battle against until your shift is "supposed" to be over.

We learn to bask in the warmth of silence or calmness that may befall our units without having to think about - much less comment about - the fact!

We never mention that we will be discharging all of our patients and request to leave when we have no more patients to care for....for good reasons! We know what will happen if we do. Not only will you be discharging all of your patients, but you will be the admitting nurse for all of the ones that ED will be sending up - because inevitably, some brickhead in the ED said, "Sure is quiet today!"

Taboo-10-Things-Nurses-Should-NEVER-Say.pdf

[SeattleJess]

Dogen said:

I try not to do things like lay my hands on a patient, close my eyes, hum a little bit, and then yell, "You're healed!"

I say "the q-word" all the time, mostly around one of my superstitious colleagues because it makes her cringe. I pay no attention to the moon phase. I just looked it up and I've picked up an extra evening shift on the next one here (8/29). I'll have to remember to tell everyone about it during the first half of the shift. "You know tonight is a full moon, right? Think it'll be quiet? Maybe a nice, slow, easy shift? I mean, X, Y. and Z aren't admitted, so it should be really smooth, right?"

I love you. Love you. Love you. I am committing your formula to memory so I can use it to do a study.

[Dogen]

brandy1017 said:

That's bad. LOL Make sure to volunteer for X, Y or Z when they are admitted. All I can say is the psyche patients seem worse around the full moon! Good luck!

I'm a psych RN. There's a lot of research on lunar phases and behavior, and most of them either find no correlation between phase and behavior or are equivocal. You can sometimes find bad research, where they lump the one day of the lunar phase with a full moon against the other 28 days, which gives you a small experimental group and a large control. That kind of comparison stacks the deck in favor of finding a statistically significant result because the larger control group experiences regression to the mean more than the smaller experimental group.

Which is all just to say that there's no good reason to believe anything different happens on a full moon. If it's hectic that's because it's often hectic. As a PP said, it's probably mostly confirmation bias, where you notice when it's busy on a full moon and forget how frequently it's just as busy on any other night.

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

Meh, I'm not a big believer in this. I'll say "it's quiet", SAYING those words doesn't change things. Just like "It must be a full moon". Full moon, Schmull moon---it's just another night

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

KNOWING you believe in such fluff as the word QUIET (because, it's just that, a word) would make me say it around you all day long.

SubSippi said:

I was never superstitious before I became a nurse. Now I keep a lucky rock in my pocket at work, and will jump down someone's throat if they use the "q" word. I also don't schedule myself during a full moon, if I can avoid it.

Confirmation bias is a hard thing to overcome!!

Outside the hospital, I'll step on cracks and walk under ladders all day long.

[NursesRmofun, ASN, RN]

The COB's that trained me when I was a new/youngish nurse always told me not to say the "Q" word. I found out what happens when you do...you get hit with several admissions OR a code happens...something will happen! lol

[bagladyrn, RN]

It doesn't take any psychic ability to predict that Dogen is going to take a lot of abuse on the night of the full moon - at least from the other staff!

[Farawyn]

Dogen said:

I'm a psych RN. There's a lot of research on lunar phases and behavior, and most of them either find no correlation between phase and behavior or are equivocal. You can sometimes find bad research, where they lump the one day of the lunar phase with a full moon against the other 28 days, which gives you a small experimental group and a large control. That kind of comparison stacks the deck in favor of finding a statistically significant result because the larger control group experiences regression to the mean more than the smaller experimental group.

Which is all just to say that there's no good reason to believe anything different happens on a full moon. If it's hectic that's because it's often hectic. As a PP said, it's probably mostly confirmation bias, where you notice when it's busy on a full moon and forget how frequently it's just as busy on any other night.

Well, shoot, there goes my alibi.

[Farawyn]

BuckyBadgerRN said:

Meh, I'm not a big believer in this. I'll say "it's quiet", SAYING those words doesn't change things. Just like "It must be a full moon". Full moon, Schmull moon---it's just another night

*throws salt over my shoulder and knocks on wood*

[bronte3]

The Q word is a definite no no on any shift in Oz. I've worked with agency and after 17 hospitals it is a definite resounding "Never say that word".. The quiet shift I've yet to find and as for the full moon I often forget until around midnight the crap hits the fan. Codes, deaths, dementia patients escaping or getting into other pts beds. Mental health pts line up 2 hours earlier for their meds. Pt's ready for d/c the following morning end up with complications as I have also found with day pt's.

I guess if it was a world wide study the answers may be different but it seems that having so many hospitals over a 5 year period you have to wonder.

For me personally once I walk out the door I sigh with relief and agree it was indeed a quiet shift.

In the real world it rarely passes my mind. It is comforting to know that there are many of us worldwide who do think the same way.

[GadgetRN71, ASN, RN]

Yeah, well, I used to be like that. Outside of work, I don't believe in any of the usual superstitions.

In the OR, we never used to mention those cases that consisted of the first letter of the alphabet repeated 3 times. Invariably, someone would mention it by name, and whammo, one would come up from the ER,lol. Confirmation bias? Maybe, but I'm not taking any chances.

[canigraduate]

I am sooo superstitious at work.

I knock on wood, I avoid the "Q" word, and I try not to pay attention to the phases of the moon so I won't borrow trouble.

I have always had a harder time sleeping during certain moon phases, so I don't discount the moon crazies.

Also, the last time I said the Q word at work, I had an AMA discharge and two inappropriate admissions that I had to upgrade back to back. I don't know if it's because I'm intuitive and am giving myself a reason to believe, or confirmation bias, but it's true around me.

[Farawyn]

canigraduate said:

I am sooo superstitious at work.

I knock on wood, I avoid the "Q" word, and I try not to pay attention to the phases of the moon so I won't borrow trouble.

I have always had a harder time sleeping during certain moon phases, so I don't discount the moon crazies.

Also, the last time I said the Q word at work, I had an AMA discharge and two inappropriate admissions that I had to upgrade back to back. I don't know if it's because I'm intuitive and am giving myself a reason to believe, or confirmation bias, but it's true around me.

Oh, who cares if it's confirmation bias?!? It's not like we are hurting anyone by shushing the Q word. It used to be kind of fun to go out to breakfast the next day and talk about the full moon and all that.

Is there a Pfffffft smilie?