Taboo: 10 Things Nurses Should NEVER Say!

[Julie Reyes]

As nurses, we have learned the hard way to never say certain statements. Why? Well, that could be because the first time we said it - or heard it said - we got the "evil eye". Think back to the time you first heard some naive soul say, "WOW!, it sure is quiet today!" "Sure is slow", "Nothing has happened today", "We haven't had a code this week", and comments of the like - just are not acceptable!

If you are an experienced nurse (even with one day of experience), you will be able to testify to what will happen to the unfortunate employee who makes such a claim, right?! Let's just say that person is not the most popular person on the unit!

It is a fact. Some sayings are just taboo! What does that even mean? Taboo is, by definition, a social or religious custom prohibiting or forbidding discussion of a particular practice, or forbidding association with a particular person, place or thing. It is something that is prohibited or restricted by social custom.

We knock on wood if we say we have been having a good week, or we may reach out to touch the face of a beautiful child who is our patient so they don't have a turn for the worse. We cross ourselves and say a prayer when someone mentions the drug seeking patient (not currently a patient) who goes on a rampage when the doctor refuses to order the dilaudid. Therefore, speaking of such topics are prohibited!

So, what other topics is it that we as nurses don't want to hear? What is it that really grates on our nerves? Here are a few sayings...and the rationale behind it!

I interviewed some top notch nurses I know, and here is what they have to say on the subject:

1. Karen Martinez: "We're slow today." Why? It causes the floodgates to open wide and you will probably never get a potty break the rest of your shift!
2. Sylvia Nelson: "Our anesthesiologists have a thing against saying a child is calm, because then they wake up like a demon. I will never tell my surgeon I hope their night is quiet!"
3. Jennifer Collins: "It's been a good day!" That's when the *** hits the fan. Wait until your shift is over and you have given report!
4. Ashley Elizabeth: "I have a fantastic assignment!" - There is no such thing if you say it before the end of your shift....; "Calling a patient a 'stable vented patient'" will cause them to not be stable for long - you will be running a code in no time; "This patient is an easy stick." Your patient will suddenly become a turnip.
5. Cherrie Aquino: Telling parents, "Oh, he/she is the BEST IV starter!" Your patient will be a scientific marvel and have no veins.
6. Elissa Norris: "Don't ever mention the chronic kid (or adult patient) that has a crazy mom (or wife/husband/family member) - inevitably they show up!"
7. Carol Kaplan: "You should never, ever, repeat the name of a 'repeat offender' patient. You will admit that patient on your shift!"
8. Diana Montalvo: "The doctor will be in - just a few minutes." The doctor will not even be in the building...maybe not even in the country, since you said it!
9. Sarah Weishuhn: "As a surgical nurse, we never say, 'WOW!, there aren't any add on cases today?!' Because five minutes later, the bottom will fall out and we will have an open fracture, an appy, and a C-section...NOW!"
10. Sandra Cambridge: "Never comment on how well behaved a pediatric patient is until they are walking out the door." unless you wish to come face to face with the devil with the parent who has no control or expects you to be the nanny.

We learn to never say words like, 'quiet', 'boring', 'easy'. We never attribute these qualities to our patient(s), or the shift. We have learned, from having to jump in the trenches after these words are uttered, that these words will open up the gates of Hades and set forth a war that will cause you to have to wage battle against until your shift is "supposed" to be over.

We learn to bask in the warmth of silence or calmness that may befall our units without having to think about - much less comment about - the fact!

We never mention that we will be discharging all of our patients and request to leave when we have no more patients to care for....for good reasons! We know what will happen if we do. Not only will you be discharging all of your patients, but you will be the admitting nurse for all of the ones that ED will be sending up - because inevitably, some brickhead in the ED said, "Sure is quiet today!"

Taboo-10-Things-Nurses-Should-NEVER-Say.pdf

[armychris]

It's not saying anything.. But I've found that every time I walk into the unoccupied psych room of the ER, it will become occupied at night with someone who decides to take a swing at ER staff (usually me).

[veggie530]

I say a lot of these things regularly. It makes other nurses squirm and get all nervous and some actually seriously get upset by it. I can't help but laugh that people actually think these things impact what happens.

[Dogen]

armychris said:

It's not saying anything.. But I've found that every time I walk into the unoccupied psych room of the ER, it will become occupied at night with someone who decides to take a swing at ER staff (usually me).

But why are you taking a swing at the ER staff?

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

SubSippi said:

You know, now that you mention it, I HAVE seen a fly sometime in the week prior to one of my patients coding. Thanks for the heads up! I'll have to carry around a fly swatter everywhere I go, but it'll be worth it if it saves lives!

...Why yes, that is all I got out of an article about confirmation bias...

It was a mosquito. ? I'll have to tell my husband about this as he is the Mosquito District Manager here locally. He gets so many calls during mosquito season and we are having a hard time now due to all the wild rice in our valley. If he knew that a mosquito had gravitational pull, he would not want me to broadcast this to our local community!

One fact in the article that I didn't know is that the new moon, which we do not see, and the full moon, have the same gravitational pull. So why do we only remember "crazy" when the moon is full and we can see it?

veggie530 said:

I say a lot of these things regularly. It makes other nurses squirm and get all nervous and some actually seriously get upset by it. I can't help but laugh that people actually think these things impact what happens.

I do the same thing. I'll bet we are not well-liked at work.

In fact, eerily enough . . ..there is a conversation on FB right now about this between me and some co-workers. And they started it by posting a meme with a full moon talking about how things go crazy when the moon is full. They believe; I don't.

Spooky.

[Dogen]

Farawyn said:

OMG, you are THAT guy at work, aintcha?

It's why they only let me work two days a week...

[Dogen]

SubSippi said:

When the walls of your hospital come crashing down in flames, and you look up to see the full moon through a hole in the ceiling, and it's shining down on all the frequent fliers you just named...you won't have anyone to blame but yourself. Maybe then you'll come to terms with the power of the "q" word.

I hope you're preparing yourself now for all the "I told you so's."

My unit is old and hasn't been remodeled in years, maybe decades. It's likely to fall apart whether I have magic powers or not. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure if the place falls down I get the rest of the night off, so I'm not seeing a down side. ?

[macawake, MSN]

Spidey's mom, good article.

Actually mosquitos have been known to drive me slightly nutty.. Probably doesn't have much to do with gravitational pull though... but with their rather pesky personalities

The full moon doesn't cause lunacy (despite the name).

The Moon's path around the Earth is elliptical. The moon's gravitational pull depends on it's distance from the Earth. It is strongest at the lunar perigee (the point where the moon is nearest to the Earth) and weakest at the lunar apogee (the point where the moon is the furthest away from the Earth).

So, it's distance that decides the strength of the gravitational pull, not whether the moon is full or new. A full moon can happen anywhere in the lunar orbit, including apogee.

But sometimes..

The perigee and the full moon coincide...

This month the Moon will turn full on the 29th and on the 30th the Moon reaches perigee...

Ladies and Gentlemen.. I present to you...

Ta-da-da!!

SUPERMOON

Muahahaha

I'm sorry but all this superstition has led to an almost irresistible urge to go and mutter "quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet" all night long during my next shift...

PITAs of the world, unite!

[armychris]

Dogen said:

But why are you taking a swing at the ER staff?

I knew someone was going to say it! They didn't give me that one medication that works for me.. Dilaudid I think?

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

One time when I was charge nurse, I told the nurse getting the next assignment:

"You are getting a patient from EMTs, direct admit: He's in DTs, combative, HIV positive, pulling out lines, and spitting. Oh, and he's a GI bleeder, too."

Of course, she froze like a deer looking into headlights. When I told her I was just kidding, we all had a good laugh, until it was my turn to get the next admit, and I took report on a patient that was basically the one described above. Got a good dose of Karma that night.

[vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN]

SubSippi said:

I was never superstitious before I became a nurse. Now I keep a lucky rock in my pocket at work, and will jump down someone's throat if they use the "q" word. I also don't schedule myself during a full moon, if I can avoid it.

Confirmation bias is a hard thing to overcome!!

Outside the hospital, I'll step on cracks and walk under ladders all day long.

This is so me!!

[Dogen]

armychris said:

I knew someone was going to say it! They didn't give me that one medication that works for me.. Dilaudid I think?

I bet NSAIDs make you itchy, which is why you can't have percocet or vicodin, and tramadol gives you hives, right? I already want to put you in a psych room...

[Julie Reyes, DNP, RN]

Haha! You guys are so funny! Love it!! :) I just love you guys!!