New grad on leave with 3 kids under 3...HELP

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi everyone,

First off, please bare with my spelling and gramer, I am currently trying to type on my laptop while breastfeeding my 3 week old.

So I need some major advice with judgements.

I started my new grad program in labor and delivery in september 2017. I found out I was pregnant in October and (I already have a now 15 month old and a 2 1/2 year old) continued to work until my dr put me on medical leave. I still have to go back to finish my last 3-4 weeks of orientation when I am done with my leave after having this baby 3 weeks ago. Since I dont qualify for FMLA I can only get 6 weeks off (this is awful since only 12% of the population is even eligible to get fmla) and this is just not enough. I know, I know, I know, I have heard it before "I did it!"--that is the exact response that I get when I tell people that there is no way that I can go back to work at 6 weeks, physically, mentally, and with 2 under 3 already at home WITHOUT family help. I need advice on what to do, I am in my dream job but I work full time nights on one of the busiest LND units in my state!! This means being able to pump my breast milk is already going to be a struggle and working nights I will only get to see my newborn and have her at the breast for 8 hours in a 48 hour period.............WHAT!?!?! I cannot mis out on feeding my baby and seeing my children for my job but here is the problem: I am caught between needing to get experience and needing to breastfeed, as well as being in a position that I love (even though I am desperate and willing to be in any area if that means I can see my babies and nourish my newborn with my milk) I want to be part time but my work wont allow it. My question: Do I quit my job to stay home for the first year with my newborn and then TRY to find someone who is willing to hire me without much experience or do I keep staying where I am, go back to nights and be so depressed and stressed and devastated that I cannot be there for my children? I am so worried that I wont find ANY position once I take that year off. I really just want a part time RN position but I feel as a new nurse that is not an option. But the lack of family help (its just my partner and I) and the long 12.5 hour shifts is just TOO MUCH. I think it is awful that we are one of 3 countries that does not honor the breastfeeding mother and does not honor attachment parenting. Finland and other european countries give their employees at least one year of paid leave because they know that breastfed babies means less sick babies, which means less days taken off work. But thats another topic for another day/discussion. I went to school to be nurse to now I feel like I failed. I want honest opinions and no judgement please. Also please dont say that my kids wont remember because I WILL remember.

Thanks for the help

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Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.

Take the year off. If you can afford it, do it. There will be other positions.

I feel like you will truly, truly regret it if you don't take the year off.

I really do.

No judgement here, regarding the breastfeeding thing. I think your

biggest issue is having three very very young kids at home and

trying to work, when you clearly want to be at home with them.

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Specializes in Varied.

This is difficult. I think that you have to do what's going to make you happiest. What I would recommend is, look for PRN jobs. Try to at least work 1-2 shifts a month somewhere to gain experience. It will help when you want full-time employment.

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The reality is that taking a year off as a new graduate will make you a less desirable employee, especially in tight markets. And like you said, part time employment or PRN employment will also be a hard sell.

I don't see a good way to guarantee you'll have it all. You just have to pick what's most important to you and hope everything else falls into place when the time comes.

I work one day a week because I have small children, but I had more experience before the kids came along.

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You have just given birth. You are fragile right now.... breathe.

It would take Superwoman to work full time with 3 under 3. Do what feels best for you and realize another nursing position will come along.

Best wishes, and geez.. consider birth control ;)

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One thing to consider is if you leave now, you will likely be blacklisted from working there or anywhere else affiliated with them. I don't know if there are many hospitals in your area or if they are all affiliated with each other... but keep that in mind.

Only you can answer what is more important to you. Good luck!

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I'd see about going prn or reducing hours at your current position. It does stink having to pump while working 12s and it did hurt my supply. Bummer. I have a bad feeling you're going to be burning both ends if you continue full time nights with the 2 other kiddos and a newborn. Go easy on yourself my dear. Godspeed to us both. I'm going to have 2 under 2 here soon. My hat is off to you.

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I have three under 5 including a 6 month old. I worked full time nights. After the baby got here, I couldn't deal with it anymore, and she's a really mellow baby. My shifts were 8s though.

If you don't care what position you get as long as it's an RN job, maybe look outside the hospital. Home care, private duty, and care management are typically more flexible for schedule. Or sign with a staffing agency and work when you want. You'll probably just be passing meds to geriatric patients but it'll still be nursing experience.

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Specializes in Sub-Acute, School Nursing, Dialysis.

My heart feels for you!!! First, congratulations on the new little one!! I have five children and can relate to this. It's not easy to pump at work...to find the time or a place to do it. I did it for a little bit when I worked as a school nurse twice a day in a closet. It was rough! I also know that feeling of having to leave your babies to go back to work. This country does stink in regards to maternity leave/families/breast feeding. I still hate leaving my children and my youngest is 18 months old. My suggestion is maybe try a skilled nursing facility/rehab. Not the best or most desirable place to work ( I did it for a while at night). But it is experience and they will probably be able to give you part time or even per diem work. I wish you the best!! Take it easy on yourself!! You have a lot on your plate. You need to be kind to yourself and not get burnt out with mom duties and work life.

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Specializes in IMCU, Oncology.

Here is how I see it...you only have one chance when your children are babies and little. There will always be nursing positions. Sure it may be hard when you try to go back, but when you look back what will you regret more.

There are no guarantees for the future no matter what path you decide. You sacrifice no matter what you chose. Again, 10-20 years from now, when you look back what will you have wished you had done. For everyone that answer is different and sometime the answer changes.

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Hi guys! So I wanted to update you all on how my year unfolded.........

I ended up quitting my dream job in labor and delivery. I did not want to do this but my family needed me and to be honest I needed to be with my baby —she just turned 1 by the way! I currently do home health/hospice and have been for almost a year. I just feel so bad lately though. I feel like I could of already had that one year of acute care, I feel that I would have made a better decision career wise, I feel just so bummed honestly. I want to get my foot in the door at a hospital so acute care but sadly I am just not wanted. I made a check list to show my strengths and what I do in my position but no luck. I feel home health nurses are very misunderstood. I do everything from IVs to foleys and just sooo much.

How do I transfer to a hospital?

What will it take?

Do I put my measly few months of bedside on my resume?

I am so scared that the longer I stay in home health the less desirable I will be. I don’t even get this though since what makes an acute care nurse more of a nurse than me???

on the bright side, I have a one year old girl that I was able to fully breastfeed, cuddle and sleep with, and be with when I want most of the time when I am not seeing patients in the field.

Please offer me advice because I feel like I made an awful brutal career decision all because I wanted to be there for my babies and since we have no family help I needed to be with them to, well, raise them. Honestly, dammit if I do and dammit if I don’t. ??how dare I be a compassionate loving mom but a nurse at the same time...

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

Personally, I think you did the right thing. So no looking back. No coulda-woulda-shoulda. Your children are small only once; there is no shortage of sick people needing to be nursed.

You will find a hospital job when you do. I thought I had boxed myself in a corner working psych and corrections. I got my first med-surg job at age 41. I really don't think you've aced yourself out of anything.

Carry on. I'm betting things fall into place at some point and you'll feel silly for having fretted.

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