First off, please bare with my spelling and gramer, I am currently trying to type on my laptop while breastfeeding my 3 week old.
So I need some major advice with judgements.
I started my new grad program in labor and delivery in september 2017. I found out I was pregnant in October and (I already have a now 15 month old and a 2 1/2 year old) continued to work until my dr put me on medical leave. I still have to go back to finish my last 3-4 weeks of orientation when I am done with my leave after having this baby 3 weeks ago. Since I dont qualify for FMLA I can only get 6 weeks off (this is awful since only 12% of the population is even eligible to get fmla) and this is just not enough. I know, I know, I know, I have heard it before "I did it!"--that is the exact response that I get when I tell people that there is no way that I can go back to work at 6 weeks, physically, mentally, and with 2 under 3 already at home WITHOUT family help. I need advice on what to do, I am in my dream job but I work full time nights on one of the busiest LND units in my state!! This means being able to pump my breast milk is already going to be a struggle and working nights I will only get to see my newborn and have her at the breast for 8 hours in a 48 hour period.............WHAT!?!?! I cannot mis out on feeding my baby and seeing my children for my job but here is the problem: I am caught between needing to get experience and needing to breastfeed, as well as being in a position that I love (even though I am desperate and willing to be in any area if that means I can see my babies and nourish my newborn with my milk) I want to be part time but my work wont allow it. My question: Do I quit my job to stay home for the first year with my newborn and then TRY to find someone who is willing to hire me without much experience or do I keep staying where I am, go back to nights and be so depressed and stressed and devastated that I cannot be there for my children? I am so worried that I wont find ANY position once I take that year off. I really just want a part time RN position but I feel as a new nurse that is not an option. But the lack of family help (its just my partner and I) and the long 12.5 hour shifts is just TOO MUCH. I think it is awful that we are one of 3 countries that does not honor the breastfeeding mother and does not honor attachment parenting. Finland and other european countries give their employees at least one year of paid leave because they know that breastfed babies means less sick babies, which means less days taken off work. But thats another topic for another day/discussion. I went to school to be nurse to now I feel like I failed. I want honest opinions and no judgement please. Also please dont say that my kids wont remember because I WILL remember.
Do I put my measly few months of bedside on my resume?
This may not be what you want to hear but go to a unit that is desperate for nurses. When I made the transition from hospice/home health to hospital I went to a unit that was desperate for nurses. I received a 7500 bonus for coming!
It will take hard work and perseverance, which you have! Do not undersell yourself. You have tons of skills and you need to advertise those. Put it in your resume!
Yes, put that time on your resume!! You did the work and if they ask, say it wasn't the fit for your life.
You need to cut yourself some slack! You made a choice for you and your family, and you managed to get a nursing job that worked with your schedule on top of it.
You may not be able to get right back in to L&D, so I'd take PP's advice and look for units that really need the help, then look to transitioning to L&D. I'm not saying don't apply to any L&D positions, obviously you should shoot your shot, but don't be discouraged if you can't get those right away. You can always pick up more skills on any other unit and transfer when a position becomes available. I would definitely include your inpatient experience; you left for a highly understandable reason, and are now in a better position in life to work inpatient than you were before.
I think you've gotten some pretty good advice in this thread -- both last year and this year. The only thing I have disagreed with is the belief that "the nursing jobs will always be there." No, sometimes, they aren't. Some opportunities are rare -- and if you pass one great opportunity up, it may never come again, or may take a long time in coming again.
Last year, you made a decision -- believing that the price you would have to pay for leaving your dream job in L&D would be worth it. I suspect that you still feel that way and wouldn't really do the opposite if you had the chance to do it over again. But now, the reality of the price you have to pay for that decision is hitting you. Yes, you will have to pay the price: your nursing career will take a different path because you chose to give up that L&D job.
You need to do 2 things now. (1) Review your decision from last year. I suspect that if you do, you will not regret that decision. The review will remind yourself of why you made that decision and may help you accept the price you have to pay for making it.
(2) Start moving forward, 1 step at a time, to build a nursing career that will satisfy you. It may not be the career you once envisioned, but with any luck, you can build a career that you will be happy with. Are you prepared to make some sacrifices in your family life now? Or will you always put your family life choices ahead of your career choices? If your family needs and desires will always come first, that will limit your career choices -- which might be OK with you, but it is a question you should think through and answer for yourself. Very few people get it all - get everything they ever dreamed of in both our careers and our personal lives without ever having to make some compromises and sacrifices along the way.
I see your issues as less of a "career issue" and more of a personal "how can I learn to be happy with the consequences of my life choices" issue. Good luck to you with whatever jobs you choose to pursue.
Start moving forward, 1 step at a time, to build a nursing career that will satisfy you. It may not be the career you once envisioned, but with any luck, you can build a career that you will be happy with. Are you prepared to make some sacrifices in your family life now? Or will you always put your family life choices ahead of your career choices? If your family needs and desires will always come first, that will limit your career choices -- which might be OK with you, but it is a question you should think through and answer for yourself. Very few people get it all - get everything they ever dreamed of in both our careers and our personal lives without ever having to make some compromises and sacrifices along the way.
Will you be my life coach??? OP is not the only one who needed to hear this today lol.
I think you've gotten some pretty good advice in this thread -- both last year and this year. The only thing I have disagreed with is the belief that "the nursing jobs will always be there." No, sometimes, they aren't. Some opportunities are rare -- and if you pass one great opportunity up, it may never come again, or may take a long time in coming again.
Last year, you made a decision -- believing that the price you would have to pay for leaving your dream job in L&D would be worth it. I suspect that you still feel that way and wouldn't really do the opposite if you had the chance to do it over again. But now, the reality of the price you have to pay for that decision is hitting you. Yes, you will have to pay the price: your nursing career will take a different path because you chose to give up that L&D job.
You need to do 2 things now. (1) Review your decision from last year. I suspect that if you do, you will not regret that decision. The review will remind yourself of why you made that decision and may help you accept the price you have to pay for making it.
(2) Start moving forward, 1 step at a time, to build a nursing career that will satisfy you. It may not be the career you once envisioned, but with any luck, you can build a career that you will be happy with. Are you prepared to make some sacrifices in your family life now? Or will you always put your family life choices ahead of your career choices? If your family needs and desires will always come first, that will limit your career choices -- which might be OK with you, but it is a question you should think through and answer for yourself. Very few people get it all - get everything they ever dreamed of in both our careers and our personal lives without ever having to make some compromises and sacrifices along the way.
I see your issues as less of a "career issue" and more of a personal "how can I learn to be happy with the consequences of my life choices" issue. Good luck to you with whatever jobs you choose to pursue.
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
I am assuming that you were doing well in orientation until you had to go on leave to have your baby. Is there any way your work would allow you to go Per diem once you finish that 3 to 4 weeks of orientation? After-all they have infested time and money in you and it would be a shame to have to start over again with another new employee.
I was a new grad with a new baby and I went back to work when he was 10 weeks old. and he went to daycare. Not an ideal situation but it was what it was. I think I would have sold a slice of my liver to be able to stay at home for the first year but I didn't think I could do it. The man cub is now 17 and does not seem any worse for wear but I do feel like strangers raised my kid during those formative years. Other people saw his first steps, potty trained him taught him his letters and numbers. When he was 2 I had a mental health crises and took a year off work. Once I got my head right I loved being home with him. So much so that I took an 8hr shift job just so I could be home to pick him up from school and do dinner and tuck him in a night.
If you work for a larger hospital due they have childcare so you can pop in and see the babies on a break? Just a thought. Are you in a position to stay home. Can your partner support you for a least a year. You have to do what you feel is best for you and your family so if you can swing it stay home.
You made a choice to quit the dream job knowing that it might completely derail your future in that specialty. Now you are fully realizing the consequences of that decision. It's rare that we can have our cake and eat it too. You might not be able to get back to L & D, or it may take a lot longer to make your way back. That's the reality of hard choices.
Consider working in a stand alone endoscopy clinic. There are a lot of them in my area, and they always need nurses. Impress the docs there with your great attitude and work ethic. After a year, ask one of the docs to put in a good word for you at the hospital where he works. Get a job on any unit that will hire you, impress the hell out of everyone there, then begin networking and making the acquaintance of staff in L & D. Take any shift that is offered so that you can get your foot in the door. Impress the hell out of everyone there, then apply for transfer to day shift or whichever one works best for your family.
It might seem like a long road. You probably will be faced with similar dilemmas re choosing between family concerns and work issues. This is the problem all working parents face. Rarely do working parents get everything they want. There are always sacrifices and compromises to be made.
inthecosmos, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN
511 Posts
This may not be what you want to hear but go to a unit that is desperate for nurses. When I made the transition from hospice/home health to hospital I went to a unit that was desperate for nurses. I received a 7500 bonus for coming!
It will take hard work and perseverance, which you have! Do not undersell yourself. You have tons of skills and you need to advertise those. Put it in your resume!
Yes, put that time on your resume!! You did the work and if they ask, say it wasn't the fit for your life.