Getting Thrown Under the Bus

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I'm heart-broken. I gave up a lot for this job, hoping that it would be my stepping stone in the department I wanted only to find out that I'm surrounded by a bunch of people who throw their co-workers under the bus. I have been at this job for two months, and after six months, I have the opportunity to transfer, perhaps to a sister unit.

I just don't get it. I'm not the kind of person who goes around throwing people under the bus. I work hard. I just don't understand how people can be this way.

How do you cope with toxic environments, power-hungry managers, and inflexible supervisors who couldn't give a rat's butt about your dilemma? Would I be burning a bridge if I transferred?

Why are women so cruel to each other? I just want to cry.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
No matter where you go in life, there are a few simple truths you should know.....

1. Women are catty. We will all deny it and say "not me", but we know that we are.

2. When working for a company, scheduling will always be done on an as needed basis. Which means, you work when they say you are needed.

3. People lie. Simply put, unless it is in writing, don't believe what anyone tells you your schedule will be.

4. Nobody likes a whiner. We all have problems, we don't won't to listen to yours through our whole shift.

5. When going to a new unit, remember that to the people that have been working here, this is their house. You do not come in to someone's house and start criticizing it. It is offensive to the people that live there. Once you have been there for awhile, then you have earned the priviledge to criticize.

I can agree with most of your post, but not the first point. Not all women are catty, not even MOST women. SOME women are catty, as are some men.

If you run into one donkeybutt, it's probably that the person is really a donkeybutt. But if you seem to be running into lots and lots of donkeybutts, it's more probably that the donkeybutt is YOU. I would venture that the same is true for "catty" women.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Yup! And that should be the only concern. I take great care of my patients, I am competent in my skills, I do what needs to be done...

I feel that is all that should matter. I guess I was very naive to think that grown women would be mature. If they had a problem with me, they should have come to me and not act like six-year old kindergarteners.

I don't know you, so I'm generalizing here. But often when we experienced nurses have a problem with a student or a new nurse or a new employee and we go to talk to them about it, they don't receive it well. Some people get offended at the slightest hint of negative feedback. Others will hear the negative feedback as positive in some way, even to the point of signing performance improvement plans and STILL not getting it. Please look inside yourself and do some long, hard thinking about whether this could apply to you.

Whereas I am very sorry for what you are going through.,, you need to know that ..

you will run across evil . In your life and workplace.

Keep your head up and stay strong. Crying is not getting anything done.

Please PM me... I have" Been there done that."

Specializes in Medsurg, Homecare, Infusion, Psych/Detox.

Its unfortunate, but in the work setting, to protect yourself, you have to behave as though you are swimming in shark infested waters.

Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.

Very very few people like hearing about complaints others have about their schedules. We all have to work off shifts. We all have to spend time away from family during holidays. We all have to work at times that aren't convenient for our lives. We have all have had schedules that are different than what we were "promised" (i.e., an extra holiday/weekend/etc). Point is, everyone's schedules stink (at one point or another), so we really don't like it when a new employee comes in a goes on and on about the unfairness of their schedule as if they are the only one there who got a bad break on their schedule.

It is true, someone could have said something to directly to you about the complaining, however you assume that all these people went independently to the manager just to throw you under the bus. Recently I was asked, in confidence, by my manager about what it was like to work with a new tech. I said, honestly, I don't work with that person that often, so I really can't say. However, if that tech were a complainer, I would have no problem telling said manager that if I were asked about it. Perhaps that is how it happened. Perhaps the manager went to some experience nurses about new employees because the NM wants to have an idea of the vibes on the unit.

Plus, I have this funny feeling, that if a veteran nurse came to you and politely told you not to complain at work, we would have yet another "why do nurses eat their young?" thread.

lol you better READ! seriously though, just realize at the end of the day your first priority is patient care! if it doesnt have any thing to do with patient care, simply turn the other way. going through a similar situation myself.

Care to elaborate? If you have nothing constructive to add, then please stay out of my thread. I'm not in the mood.
Specializes in Med Surg.
How do you cope with toxic environments, power-hungry managers, and inflexible supervisors who couldn't give a rat's butt about your dilemma? Would I be burning a bridge if I transferred?

Why are women so cruel to each other? I just want to cry.

I work on a very difficult Med Surg unit, but the staff is quite close-knit. We do not backstab, throw each other under the bus, or look for opportunities to "tell on" each other. People who transfer from other units can see the difference.

Some have transferred off my floor because of the workload and acuity to find they don't like the culture on other units as compared to ours.

Just do your job the best you can until another opportunity opens up.

Good luck!

Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.

OP, the job of the manager and the schedulers is to staff the unit. They do not have the luxury of saying, well, there's this hole in the schedule, but we're not going to put PrincessBride in that slot because it's inconvenient for her. You cannot run a unit that way.

So you're being scheduled for less-than-ideal shifts. Might you have to work and then go directly to class? Yep -- lots of people do. Might you have to go to class/clinical/lab and then straight to work? Yep -- lots of people do.

You can do this, without melodrama and hyperbole. Really.

Specializes in ED.
I can agree with most of your post, but not the first point. Not all women are catty, not even MOST women. SOME women are catty, as are some men.

If you run into one donkeybutt, it's probably that the person is really a donkeybutt. But if you seem to be running into lots and lots of donkeybutts, it's more probably that the donkeybutt is YOU. I would venture that the same is true for "catty" women.

I think I made my point.

You need to learn NOW to keep your mouth shut.

You also need to learn NOW not to trust anyone.

No matter where you work, there is always going to be someone (or more likely more than one) who is going to run to management. Some management encourages this.

Work is NOT the place to vent.

Those people are your co-workers, they are not your friends, they are not your family, they DO NOT care about you.

Keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open.

Beware those people who say, "I'm your friend." They are probably the biggest back stabbers out there.

This applies to any work environment.

Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.

I see what you are saying and I agree with most of it. I didn't realize that by complaining about my lack of hours (I'm talking eight hours in a two week period) when I was told something else in the interview that was entirely different could be viewed as attacking the unit or not being a team player (forget that I am working Christmas eve and day, Thanksgiving and black friday without any complaints and wanting to work those evenings and weekend shifts). I had tried to resolve the issue before through email and was not getting an response and, combined with the new schedule, I was frustrated. I've heard these women complain about management, ther constant mandating, so I thought they would be understanding, you know?

The one thing I have learned from this experience is to not trust the coworkers as you never know who is management's pet. New motto: loose lips sink ships.

I realize you're not going to LIKE what I have to say, but I'll hope you'll listen because I mean for it to help you, not hurt your feelings.

If you've been on the job for only two months, it would be difficult for you to have made truly close, personal friendships with your colleagues. So what you were doing was badmouthing the scheduling committee and/or the manager to your brand new co-workers. People almost never take it well when a newbie comes into the workplace and immediately starts complaining (especially about the schedule, when ALL of us have issues with our schedule) to all and sundry. It was a very bad move. As for going to management and "throwing you under the bus", you're new. You're probably still on probation. Management wants to make sure they know about any problems, potential problems or about to develop problems with you before your probation is up, while they can still get rid of you easily. You've just shown them that you aren't a team player.

When you start a new job, no one knows you. No one knows how hard you'll work (or not), how skilled your care will be, how caring of the patients you'll be, how dependable you'll be, etc. You're an unknown quantity. By complaining about your job AT your job, you've demonstrated that, at the very least, your political awareness and judgement are at a low. Now they have to wonder about the rest.

You've also insulted all of your new colleagues by insulting the workplace they've tolerated for however long.

You may be able to repair the damage yet, but it's going to be very hard work. Good luck.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
I see what you are saying and I agree with most of it. I didn't realize that by complaining about my lack of hours (I'm talking eight hours in a two week period) when I was told something else in the interview that was entirely different could be viewed as attacking the unit or not being a team player (forget that I am working Christmas eve and day, Thanksgiving and black friday without any complaints and wanting to work those evenings and weekend shifts). I had tried to resolve the issue before through email and was not getting an response and, combined with the new schedule, I was frustrated. I've heard these women complain about management, ther constant mandating, so I thought they would be understanding, you know?

The one thing I have learned from this experience is to not trust the coworkers as you never know who is management's pet. New motto: loose lips sink ships.

a valuable lesson!!!2Q==
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