Getting Thrown Under the Bus

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I'm heart-broken. I gave up a lot for this job, hoping that it would be my stepping stone in the department I wanted only to find out that I'm surrounded by a bunch of people who throw their co-workers under the bus. I have been at this job for two months, and after six months, I have the opportunity to transfer, perhaps to a sister unit.

I just don't get it. I'm not the kind of person who goes around throwing people under the bus. I work hard. I just don't understand how people can be this way.

How do you cope with toxic environments, power-hungry managers, and inflexible supervisors who couldn't give a rat's butt about your dilemma? Would I be burning a bridge if I transferred?

Why are women so cruel to each other? I just want to cry.

Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
No matter where you go in life, there are a few simple truths you should know.....

1. Women are catty. We will all deny it and say "not me", but we know that we are.

I feel like I have the personality of a man (no offense to the ladies). If I see something that needs to be done, I get it done. I don't complain about it, nor do I hold grudges if this aide didn't do this, or this nurse forgot to do that. I just...don't.

2. When working for a company, scheduling will always be done on an as needed basis. Which means, you work when they say you are needed.

Very true. I was told I was needed evenings and weekends, but....yeah.

3. People lie. Simply put, unless it is in writing, don't believe what anyone tells you your schedule will be.

True.

4. Nobody likes a whiner. We all have problems, we don't won't to listen to yours through our whole shift.

I get that. But why is it okay for some people to complain and taboo for others? Is this a hierarchical concept?

5. When going to a new unit, remember that to the people that have been working here, this is their house. You do not come in to someone's house and start criticizing it. It is offensive to the people that live there. Once you have been there for awhile, then you have earned the priviledge to criticize.

Great point! Again though, I never complained about the unit...I love working on the unit. I just hate scheduling. But now I know to keep my mouth shut and can't trust coworkers, especially the females.

Thank you so much!

Know that all of this is a deep disappointment for you, but please consider that this manager actually did you a favor by giving you that negative perspective. You now know something that you can use to prevent this from happening again, when the stakes could be much higher. Hope you are able to successfully make the transfer and that all of this settles down for you. If things remain uncomfortable, you may want to look at quietly seeking a new employer altogether after a reasonable amount of time. Good luck.

Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
I would suggest just sticking it out until you can transfer to the unit you really want. Or change hospitals altogether to a unit that is what you are describing and get a fresh start. Staying at jobs for a year or more doesn't really make you look like you're "job-hopping" in my opinion. A new person trying to find their niche maybe. Then lesson learned....never ever talk about your schedule, your pay, your evaluation...nothing of that nature with any co-worker, even those you would consider your "friend". The less people know about these things, the less dirt they could possibly have on you.

Here's what my job history at this company is looking like:

Job 1 - 15 months, 1 day (promotion)

Job 2- 9 months, 10 days (transfer)

Job 3 (current)- 2 months and counting

I know this looks terrible. I am working on my third year with this company. I didn't mean to hop like this (except for the promotion). I know I have got to cut it out. It just depresses me because if things to shape up scheduling wise, I'm going to have to transfer at the six month mark, making it fourth job in a third year.

Thank you so much! I will NEVER confide in a coworker in anything and keep it strictly work-related.

Thanks everyone! I think I will wait until I finish up this next semester and start thinking about putting in a transfer.

Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
Know that all of this is a deep disappointment for you, but please consider that this manager actually did you a favor by giving you that negative perspective. You now know something that you can use to prevent this from happening again, when the stakes could be much higher. Hope you are able to successfully make the transfer and that all of this settles down for you. If things remain uncomfortable, you may want to look at quietly seeking a new employer altogether after a reasonable amount of time. Good luck.

Thanks! I definitely agree that this was a tremendous favor as it allowed me insight into office politics, something that I have never put much thought into until now. I admit that I associated that sort of behavior with corporate America, not nursing the "caring" profession.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Oncology, Epic CT.

You and I, my friend, are very much alike in two instances: dealing with work politics and our mind set. When I see underhanded things occur, I too, cannot understand why they happen, I even get a little upset if they rub me the wrong way.

I work at a hospital as a pharmacy tech currently and I have seen petty things from my department to the nursing floors. I have also seen negative occurrences when I go to my nursing clinical. Things that seem so little seem to blow up suddenly and dramatically because it goes down the gossip grapevine.

With that said, just know that you will be dealing with these things no matter where you go (though, I truly hope it will be a better environment for you when you transfer). All you can do is deal with it in a professional matter. Many of the other forum members have already brought up some great advice on how to go about that. May I add that unless you truly trust a coworker, I would keep any workplace woes to yourself and instead, vent it out when you get home. However, if there are problems that do need attention, I would raise them with the proper people (manager or go to supervisor or even HR if the manager is unable to help).

In the long run, just know this is TEMPORARY! Your future is bright and in nursing. This is just a bump along that road. Hang in there, concentrate on school, graduate, and transfer to another floor. If anyone asks about your track record (those multiple transfers you mentioned earlier), be honest but don't be negative or give too much detail about it. Show them the true person you are, which from what I can see, is a harder worker and has their morals in the right place.

Good luck! :) Just know you are not the only one going through something like this!

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

Here is what I think.....I think that when we post in a public forum we will get the public opinion. Some we will agree with some we will not....like anything else it's a trade off the good with the bad.

However.....while AN promotes a lively debate we have a zero tolerance against personal attacks.

Our first priority is to the members that have come here because of the flame-free atmosphere we provide. There is a zero-tolerance policy here against personal attacks. We will not tolerate anyone insulting other's opinion nor name calling.

Our call is to be supportive, not divisive.

I think that if we have a difference of opinion we need to be respectful with our posts when we disagree.

OP.....hospitals/healthcare industry is no different than corporate America.....and might, in some cases, be worse! Since most nurses do not sign and official contract....employers can promise the moon and deliver fairy dust. I have bee hired for straight nights and when they wanted me to quit....they changed my schedule with a new job requirement of evenings rotation....something they KNEW I could not do...is it right? NO. Does it happen? YES.... all the time. It is happening more frequently because there is a plethora of applicants and that makes current employees disposable.

Look at what you want/need from this position...use it to your advantage and gain experience...but never look for the healthcare industry to actually care for it's employees...you will continue to be disappointed. Trust me I know this all too well.

Don't hear the naysayers and those who seek to upset or hurt you for their words are just that.....words. Be better than the rest of the fray for that will make you happier in the long run. ((HUGS))

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
Thanks! I definitely agree that this was a tremendous favor as it allowed me insight into office politics something that I have never put much thought into until now. I admit that I associated that sort of behavior with corporate America, not nursing the "caring" profession.[/quote']

^Eh....people are people behind their professions; that doesn't escape nursing...

Also, healthcare has been "corporatized"for the past 20 years now, so you got an unbeatable mix... :whistling:

I'm not a nurse, I'm a student aide. As such, there is a handbook for student aides, like getting a certain number hours a week, limited night shifts and flexible. This has not been the case at all. Not only am I going entire stretches with no hours, I'm also being put on shifts that I was told in the interviewing process I did not need to work.

I feel like I was blind sided. I was willing to work with the full-time staff, but they (and management) are not willing to work with me. Should I transfer? I didn't have this issue with my other aide job, and scheduling wasn't ideal then, but at least management was willing to work with students.

I understand where you are coming from. You were told one thing and had to do something that was different. You complained to other workers about it and it got back to whoever is your boss.

I can understand your frustration but there is one thing that I have learned over the years. NEVER complain to fellow co-workers-that was your mistake. Because there is always going to be someone who is nice to your face but behind your back they are saying things about you. Those types are the ones that go running to the boss to tattle whenever you do or say something wrong or against the company.

It's a dog eat dog world-welcome to it.

You need to learn NOW to keep your mouth shut.

You also need to learn NOW not to trust anyone.

No matter where you work, there is always going to be someone (or more likely more than one) who is going to run to management. Some management encourages this.

Work is NOT the place to vent.

Those people are your co-workers, they are not your friends, they are not your family, they DO NOT care about you.

Keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open.

Beware those people who say, "I'm your friend." They are probably the biggest back stabbers out there.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
And the thing that gets me was that it was about scheduling problems. It wasn't anything about other coworkers, and yeah, I admit that I made a mistake of sharing my woes with my coworkers. The manager even accused me of being a "pot-stirrer", that "everyone" could tell her "my business" and someone who is unhappy about everything. All I wanted was the hours that I had been promised during the interview. Had I known that people would be going to management and throwing me under the bus like that is crazy.

It almost makes me want to stoop to their level, but I won't.

I realize you're not going to LIKE what I have to say, but I'll hope you'll listen because I mean for it to help you, not hurt your feelings.

If you've been on the job for only two months, it would be difficult for you to have made truly close, personal friendships with your colleagues. So what you were doing was badmouthing the scheduling committee and/or the manager to your brand new co-workers. People almost never take it well when a newbie comes into the workplace and immediately starts complaining (especially about the schedule, when ALL of us have issues with our schedule) to all and sundry. It was a very bad move. As for going to management and "throwing you under the bus", you're new. You're probably still on probation. Management wants to make sure they know about any problems, potential problems or about to develop problems with you before your probation is up, while they can still get rid of you easily. You've just shown them that you aren't a team player.

When you start a new job, no one knows you. No one knows how hard you'll work (or not), how skilled your care will be, how caring of the patients you'll be, how dependable you'll be, etc. You're an unknown quantity. By complaining about your job AT your job, you've demonstrated that, at the very least, your political awareness and judgement are at a low. Now they have to wonder about the rest.

You've also insulted all of your new colleagues by insulting the workplace they've tolerated for however long.

You may be able to repair the damage yet, but it's going to be very hard work. Good luck.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Care to elaborate? If you have nothing constructive to add, then please stay out of my thread. I'm not in the mood.

There are so many things wrong with this snarky post, but again you're demonstrating a lack of maturity and calling into question whether you'd take constructive criticism well. If you behave like this at work, you probably aren't making friends among your colleagues, and rather than "throwing you under the bus," they're communicating with management about a potential problem employee while there's still time to do something about it.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
The nursing world is a throw u under the bus type of world. It sucks.... I hate nursing for that reason. Put it like this.... I am a graduate of 2011, 5 jobs in.... I finally found happiness in the operating room, but only because I don't talk to anyone, 7months on the job and I still have a lot of trouble with names.....lol. I don't include them in my business and I keep everything strictly work related. I don't even hang out in the staff lounge.... People are evil......

I know you didn't ask for advice, but here it is anyway. If you've had five jobs in two years, there are definite problems that probably have more to do with you than with the people you've encountered on your journey. After all, what do all of those jobs have in common? You!

If you're only happy because you don't talk to people and consider them all evil, you probably have subpar people skills. I don't know you and cannot tell you specifically what you can do to improve, but ignoring your colleagues isn't going to endear you to them and does not foster teamwork. Please take a good, long look at your problems with your jobs and try to figure out what YOU can do to change your interactions with others.

+ Add a Comment