Does anyone else have a family member like this? (LONG)

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

:bugeyes:One that makes you physically ill, even just the thought of having to be around them?

A bit of background, my DH and I have been married 5 years. The person in question is his mother. This woman is a fruit bat of the first order. He has told me several times that she used to be on "liquid Valium". (Of course, DH also thinks you can liposuction out cellulitis, so we won't give too much credence to that statement). I have spent years as a psych nurse, and I love it dearly. This woman has all the hallmarks of a manic-depressive. She acts like a Chihuahua on speed for a while, then she'll go on a crying jag. It was bad to begin with, and since DH's Daddy died, OMG!

She's the most atypical presentation I have ever seen with this set of symptoms. Whereas most bipolar people have the prolonged depressive phase and the short manic episodes, she's right the opposite. She has scripts for Ativan, and refuses to take it. When DH's Daddy died, I forced her to, as I had to stay in the house with her. Heck, I needed one at that point. She will ramble on and on about nothing in particular, say crazy things, and she punctuates every phrase with this prissy little-girl giggle that sounds like the Pillsbury Doughboy on helium. :banghead:

I have tried, really I have, but after 5 years, I have just about had it. Every time DH says she is coming for the weekend, my stomach starts to hurt and I get a migraine just at the thought of having to deal with her. I have put my foot down at the thought of our future children, though. They will not be permitted to stay with her until she is evaluated and on meds, whether she thinks she needs it or not. My poor nieces went though hell getting hurt at her house, and my poor SIL was considered a B on wheels for not allowing them to go after a while. I could care less about that. That family already thinks I'm a B (I'm female, I wear pants, I have a career, I have an opinion and GASP!!!!! I voice it)

So anyone else have a family member that makes you want to run naked through the front yard?

:bugeyes:

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Specializes in SRNA.

I'm sorry you have to go through this! :( I just wanted to chime in with my experience in this situation as the child who had to briefly deal with a step-mother who was manic-depressive and non-compliant with her meds. I only had to encounter her when I stayed with my father on weekends (as part of the divorce agreement), and eventually I grew to dread visiting my father only due to the fact that I knew I'd have to see her as well. Those behaviors can indeed frighten children (I was 7-8 years at the time) and I still remember how odd she was. I regret that I let her influence my desire to have a better relationship with my father.

I think its a very good idea to enforce the situation (or her compliance) more strictly when children become involved in the future, if she chooses to live or stay with you.

Good luck! :rolleyes:

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OMG my MIL is the exact same way!!! She came down this weekend and I hid the entire time, I swear.

My hubby is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, takes his meds, is doing very very well...but his mom thinks it's all in his head. I tried to point out that there's evidence that the disorder runs in families but she doesn't agree with me...this is after she's been staying out until the wee hours partying or having crying fits for days at a time! I just want to be like, "My mistake, it's not hereditary at all...see how stable you are?"

She expects me to leave our kids with her (once we have them) rather than using daycare. Yeah, that'll happen:nono:. I know how you feel and good luck with her!

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Specializes in Home Health Care.

Is this my sister in law? :clown: ....My mother, I can't stand the thought of her, so yeah I do have a family member like that.

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Specializes in Med Surg, Hospice.

Do ex sisters in law count? So glad I'm rid of that wench....

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Specializes in CNA, Surgical, Pediatrics, SDS, ER.

Oh yeah sister I've got a few of those. My mom I swear is bipolar but she refused to seek any sort of counseling because there is nothing wrong w/ her. Yeah right. I only see her on whim when she gets a bug up her butt.

Also my dad's gf is a psyco I avoid going back to visit at all costs. My dad sure knows how to pick em'.

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Oh yeah sister I've got a few of those. My mom I swear is bipolar but she refused to seek any sort of counseling because there is nothing wrong w/ her. Yeah right. I only see her on whim when she gets a bug up her butt.

Gees, me too. My mom has "anxiety problems" as she puts it. Rather, she says she had problems and she's fine now. There is no doubt in my mind she is bipolar, she has all the s/s and refuses to seek help, insisting there's nothing wrong with her. (Its everyone else who is crazy) And now am refusing to let her in our (me, DH and son) lives until she seeks help. She was so abusive physically and verbally when I was younger, and the verbal attacks have never stopped. I don't want my son to be around that.

Its been WWIII for us, because she won't stop until we admit we are the ones who need help. Its really sad, the condition her life has been in and still is and she thinks everyone is out to get her. :uhoh21:That's really got to suck!

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Specializes in Med-Surg, HH, Tele, Geriatrics, Psych.
:bugeyes: She acts like a Chihuahua on speed

:bugeyes:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Thanks for the laugh!!!!

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Specializes in Med-Surg, HH, Tele, Geriatrics, Psych.

But seriously, I am so sorry for what you are dealing with. Stand your ground. My dad has PTST from Vietnam, and sometimes, he is a drag to be around because he is soooo depressed. At least he is compliant with his meds; he is just BORING!!!

Thank God I have never had to deal with manic episodes with my family members. But since I have had several family members with Bipolar, I can see the s/s in my patients and THEIR families.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, psych, 7 yrs EMT.

My MIL made a special effort to call my husband to tell him to leave me for being lazy... (Close friend since kindergarden died in a motorcycle accident that I had the devastating luck to be the first person on the scene) and I lazily took the next day off of work to be present at the debriefing and try to avoid a total meltdown. That was a fabulous day... My husband refused to speak to her for months until she started taking her perscribed meds which I may add are not working so well... Did I add that she just had to comment on the day of the funeral "She probably didn't even know the poor boy, just an excuse to get out of work." Since then we have drawn a very clear line: she disrespects either of us in even the smallest way, we don't even answer the phone. Gets old...Quick. :oornt:

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But seriously, I am so sorry for what you are dealing with. Stand your ground. My dad has PTST from Vietnam, and sometimes, he is a drag to be around because he is soooo depressed. At least he is compliant with his meds; he is just BORING!!!

Thank God I have never had to deal with manic episodes with my family members. But since I have had several family members with Bipolar, I can see the s/s in my patients and THEIR families.

My father has PTSD from Vietnam also. He is the same ... BORING! At least they are compliant with thier meds and therapy. And, they have a reason for it!

I admit that mental health issues is my weak point. I could NEVER be a psych nurse! I think it is my brother's long-term girlfriend's fault. She is a whole different case herself. Extreemly bipolar! Oh, and when my father was diagnosed with PTSD - she was, too! The girl just need to get her head out of her backend! I think I've actually told her so.:uhoh21: And yes, just the thought of her and how she is makes me sick to my stomach:barf02: - and talking about her actually gets me angry.:angryfire I actually found a cupboard full of perscription bottles for lithium, ativan, and a couple other psych meds that were all FULL. Talk about a waste of taxpayer money! (she's on disablility) Maybe it would be different if she weren't screwing up my brother's and his kids' lives.

I know that my feeling are less-than-therapeutic - and that's why I don't do psych nursing! It was all I could do just to get through my psych rotation in clinicals! But, I actually did well in it!

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Specializes in ED, ICU, PSYCH, PP, CEN.

Yes, I have a family member or two that makes me sick. Can't say anything else about that in order to protect the innocent.

Have learned to keep my distance for my own sake

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