Did anyone's spouses/partners etc...... have a problem with you becoming a RN?

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.

My husband is a very traditional man, he thinks he should work and provide for the family solely, he is not so traditional that he is controlling, I mean I am a pretty independent person. But when I decided to go to school he was not happy nor supportive about it. I still did it anyway for many reasons. He is supportive and ok with it now. I think he is seeing dollar signs about me pulling in a good income as well. When I do work he only wants me to work part time or like 3 12's which I am totally fine with. I will try for 3 12's. But having 4 kids I would be good with that.

Anyway, he is convinced though that nursing will be like Grey's Anatomy or something. That nurses are always sleeping with Doctors and so on. I mean he isn't so concerned that he is trying to get me to change my mind or being mean about it. But I know it concerns him a little.

Was anyone elses partners worried for this same reason?? It didn't help that a few of his buddies have wives that are nurses and they proceeded to make my husband think it's just one big orgy going on or something. :rolleyes:

Anyway, just curious if I was alone on this and my husband is just a freak, or anyone else dealt with this LOL.

Specializes in ER, Peds ER.

Tell your husband he watches too much television lol. Hospital work is very rarely anything like what it's protrayed on television and he's stereotyping based on fiction. My fiancee jokes with me about it because up until I met her a lot of the older nurses I worked with wanted me to date their daughters. Apparently being nice looking, stable and taking care of people for a living made me some kind of rare catch I don't know. But I've never really dealt with this. The worst I had to deal with was my dad freaking out when I told him I was going into nursing instead of staying pre med. He was convinced everyone was going to think I was gay. And I told him he watched too much television much as you should tell you husband.

Specializes in Family Practice, Psychiatry.

My husband was very supportive when I went to nursing school -- and has been encouraging of my work as a nurse. Thankfully, he's in the medical field as well and has a pretty decent grasp of what it's like. That said, he has been concerned from time to time as he has seen firsthand the good rapport I have with some of the docs. I reassure and remind him that I can have respect for a doctor because of what a good job he does -- but all that respect would be lost if a doc were to make any romantic advances toward me (they all know I am happily married). Knowing this has made him much more easy with the situation -- and now he likes to see that I get along so well with the doctors with whom I work.

Specializes in Cardiology, Oncology, Medsurge.

I think what is key is not to play into this stereotype by bringing home rumors (false or true they may be). I for one have learned NOT to mention any attractive female coworkers to my wife, for it only makes her question her own attractiveness. BIG mistake! And who needs to make one's spouse feel that way!

Tell him his insecurities are based upon a lie, most of us are biting our metaphoric nails hoping our patient remains stable through the course of our shift than to be ruminating about the hot babe nurse who happens to work adjacent to his patient's rooms. Surely, there will always be the nurse who makes the mistake of having an affair at work, only to regret it later ;''-(

Specializes in MDS RNAC, LTC, Psych, LTAC.

Well I ended up divorced after nursing school but we had problems before I started and he left me for another woman but its ok now. He is happier and I sure am. He was too controlling as a man and a spouse and I dont miss that.

I think though most men deal with it fine and get used to the idea. I know when I was in school I was not the only one whose marriage failed our one male student marriage did too .

Nursing school became my life for three years and maybe that had something to do with it..

I wish you luck and I am sure the hubby will come around most do.

And my goodness as a nurse I have never had time to even flirt if I wanted to everyone is busy. I wouldnt anyway is it is not good practice to how did I put it politely... do BM where you eat... take care though.... those are stereotypes I think

Wow! My husband was beyond supportive when I decided to go into nursing!! He's actually the reason that I am a nurse. I was working in a pediatrician's office as a receptionist and hated it so I decided to go back to school to be a medical assistant - for about $1.00 more/hr. He's the one who talked me into nursing school - I was on the fence about going because I was young, and didn't have much confidence in myself so I didn't think I would be able to pass the classes. He actually quizzed me on practice NCLEX questions and did flashcards with me!! Hell, he even drove me to clinicals on Saturday mornings at 6am when the hospital was in a bad part of town - and we weren't even married (or engaged) when I was in nursing school.

Specializes in Med Surg, Hospice, Home Health.

Just my first husband had a problem with me becoming an RN, and that is why he is my EX....

Hospital work is nothing like on TV....

linda

I agree with the others. I'm not a nurse yet but I enrolled in school and my husband is finally beginning to understand that I'm not just *thinking* about it but actually DOING it! My husband is kinda weird lol because he keeps giving me mixed signals...one min he loves the idea of me pursuing my dream and then the next min he's asking me if we'll be ok. I tell him he has nothing to worry about and that I love him and he's the one I want to continue my life with and be there when my dream comes true, and he starts feeling better (until the next hour lol). I see it this way..yeah there are people out there that don't put their ALL into a relationship but that's EVERYWHERE...no matter what career you have. If it is meant to be...it will be. So good luck and I hope all of your dreams come true, and you get to share it with the ones you love!!!

Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.

He is supportive of my schooling now. I mean I know it's not like on TV. I have never seen the show scrubs but I had one teacher say that was probably the most accurate show of life in the hospital LOL, He doesn't even watch the shows, I do, HOUSE is my favorite. I mean he is around when I watch them, but I think the biggest thing that had him worried is his buddies talking to him. I would never come home telling him about any indiscretions I would see because I know that would worry him.

We have been through a lot in our marriage and I don't even hold him being unsupportive in the beginning against him, it was a different time in our lives, I mean I remember him first telling me that he wanted to go away on a hunting trip for a week. I immediatly was saying no and not ok with it. After a few days I was fine with it and now I look forward to hunting season. HA!

I told him that I imagine I will be pretty busy and gross and that I can assure him the last thing on my mind will be sex while I am working. But I think that was very good advice about not telling him about things I do see because I do know it happens.

I suppose it didn't help that a long time ago when things were really bad I told him I was going to divorce him and find a surgeon to marry LOL

I'm in excellent shape and super hot and I've never had anyone make a play for me at any facility. You can tell your husband that there is probably no work environment more immune (atleast from my experience) to sexuality then a hospital. In an office people are dressed up and going out to lunch and have other things on their mind. When I'm at work my mind almost never leaves my patient assignments because you are always preparing yourself for the unexpected. That is not hot, and even I cannot make it so.

Heck no. Actually, when I met my husband I was in my junior year of college. He was studying fire science, so there's no more sexual innuendo/play in my line of work than his! LOL.

Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
I'm in excellent shape and super hot and I've never had anyone make a play for me at any facility. You can tell your husband that there is probably no work environment more immune (atleast from my experience) to sexuality then a hospital. In an office people are dressed up and going out to lunch and have other things on their mind. When I'm at work my mind almost never leaves my patient assignments because you are always preparing yourself for the unexpected. That is not hot, and even I cannot make it so.

LOL I wish I had your confidence. :p

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