My husband is a very traditional man, he thinks he should work and provide for the family solely, he is not so traditional that he is controlling, I mean I am a pretty independent person. But when I decided to go to school he was not happy nor supportive about it. I still did it anyway for many reasons. He is supportive and ok with it now. I think he is seeing dollar signs about me pulling in a good income as well. When I do work he only wants me to work part time or like 3 12's which I am totally fine with. I will try for 3 12's. But having 4 kids I would be good with that.
Anyway, he is convinced though that nursing will be like Grey's Anatomy or something. That nurses are always sleeping with Doctors and so on. I mean he isn't so concerned that he is trying to get me to change my mind or being mean about it. But I know it concerns him a little.
Was anyone elses partners worried for this same reason?? It didn't help that a few of his buddies have wives that are nurses and they proceeded to make my husband think it's just one big orgy going on or something.
Anyway, just curious if I was alone on this and my husband is just a freak, or anyone else dealt with this LOL.
He is supportive of my schooling now. I mean I know it's not like on TV. I have never seen the show scrubs but I had one teacher say that was probably the most accurate show of life in the hospital LOL, He doesn't even watch the shows, I do, HOUSE is my favorite. I mean he is around when I watch them, but I think the biggest thing that had him worried is his buddies talking to him. I would never come home telling him about any indiscretions I would see because I know that would worry him.
Scrubs is one of my favorite shows for just that reason...
Well, I'm not super in shape, not fat either, but defitely not Pamela Anderson, and I've been hit on quite a few times...by doctors and patients alike...but people hit on people in every profession. It is not any more likely to happen in a hospital.
Of course there have been a few seedy rumors about coworkers in supply closets what have you....again, happens everywhere...
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Well, I'm not super in shape, not fat either, but defitely not Pamela Anderson, and I've been hit on quite a few times...by doctors and patients alike...but people hit on people in every profession. It is not any more likely to happen in a hospital.
Of course there have been a few seedy rumors about coworkers in supply closets what have you....again, happens everywhere...
Have you seen Pamela lately?? It's for a sure a good thing if you don't look like her.
My last job was terrible with everyone doing everyone else. It didn't happen at work, but the stories the next day were always there. It was a 8 hour desk job with cubicles that required hardly any skill. I think the only place I didn't see stuff going on was when I worked in Childcare and I assume that was because it was a bunch of woman and if anything it was just a lot of cattyness. I don't miss that at all.
My husband was initially concerned. His mother had died of Hepatitis C from IV drug use and his dad has it as well from another source. He was worried that I would get stuck with a needle and end up with some awful disease. After showing him statistics he is less worried now, but I think that's natural to be concerned.
As far as the "sleeping around" with doctors, he was worried about that too, til I came home complaining about every doctor I worked with every day...that alleviated his concerns..haha.
I told him what he has to worry about is the paramedics :chuckle
Scrubs is about the closest scripted show you'll get actually hospital life, even though I'm not a huge Scrubs fan. I personally LOVE House, and it can be accurate at times as well. I also love Grey's Anatomy but most of the scandalous behavior seen there just doesn't happen. I'll be the first to tell you that I've flirted with female co workers before, it was always when I had first started or they had first started but it never went anything past harmless flirting. The closest I've ever come to scandalous behavior at work was spending two months flirting with an X-Rays Tech only to find out she was engaged. But I did make the mistake of telling the girl I was kinda of seeing at the time and she wasn't happy at all. Though I told her to make her jealous in all honesty. Most men, myself included, are jealous by nature. So maybe his comparisons come from the possibility that he might be slightly jealous because he sees you working with guys who look like Patrick Dempsey, Eric Dane etc...
Actually I had major problems and ended up divorcing. But not because of school per sae
but because I grew and became my own person. My husband was a very traditional "man's man"
if you know what I mean. He worked in construction, he hunted, he drove motorcycles, and had a big
truck (with the gun rack) - you know a red neck and proud of it.
He was smart but not educated. He actually looked down on education and thought it was a waste of
time, but yet he wanted me to work a full time job, pop out babies, do all the house work and cooking.
Going back to school was a major battle but I persisted and did it despite his complaints and protests.
Once I started back to school - I started to develop a confidence in my self and he was threatened.
And What I realized was that we had NOTHING in common. I was young and stupid when I met him and didn't realize that you have to have more the a chemical attraction to make a relationship last a life time. You have to actually LIKE the person
you are with in order to be really happy.
So in my senior year of nursing I left him - I also left a brand new car, a brand new house which I had designed and help build, and the security of a marriage. It was the scariest thing and the SMARTEST thing I have ever done, and I have NEVER regretted
my decision. FYI he remarried 3 months after our divorce was final. Because all he wanted a wife and children, not a life companion.
The thing I struggled with the most was a feeling of extreme guilt. You see I felt like he'd saved me from living on the streets,
I had a tough childhood and he was like the Prudential Rock, he worked, he actually saved his money, and he was safe.
My advisor at school - a catholic nun, nonetheless, when I confided in her said "you can't stay married just because you
feel guilty." She was right. I was lucky that we didn't have any kids - I made sure of that because deep down I was not
ready for kids and I didn't want to feel trapped.
Years later I am happily remarried to someone who I love, respect and genuinely like as a person.
Usually people give you a hard time because they either don't understand or they are threatened because you are actually
Actually I had major problems and ended up divorcing. But not because of school per sae
but because I grew and became my own person. My husband was a very traditional "man's man"
if you know what I mean. He worked in construction, he hunted, he drove motorcycles, and had a big
truck (with the gun rack) - you know a red neck and proud of it.
He was smart but not educated. He actually looked down on education and thought it was a waste of
time, but yet he wanted me to work a full time job, pop out babies, do all the house work and cooking.
Going back to school was a major battle but I persisted and did it despite his complaints and protests.
Once I started back to school - I started to develop a confidence in my self and he was threatened.
And What I realized was that we had NOTHING in common. I was young and stupid when I met him and didn't realize that you have to have more the a chemical attraction to make a relationship last a life time. You have to actually LIKE the person
you are with in order to be really happy.
So in my senior year of nursing I left him - I also left a brand new car, a brand new house which I had designed and help build, and the security of a marriage. It was the scariest thing and the SMARTEST thing I have ever done, and I have NEVER regretted
my decision. FYI he remarried 3 months after our divorce was final. Because all he wanted a wife and children, not a life companion.
The thing I struggled with the most was a feeling of extreme guilt. You see I felt like he'd saved me from living on the streets,
I had a tough childhood and he was like the Prudential Rock, he worked, he actually saved his money, and he was safe.
My advisor at school - a catholic nun, nonetheless, when I confided in her said "you can't stay married just because you
feel guilty." She was right. I was lucky that we didn't have any kids - I made sure of that because deep down I was not
ready for kids and I didn't want to feel trapped.
Years later I am happily remarried to someone who I love, respect and genuinely like as a person.
Usually people give you a hard time because they either don't understand or they are threatened because you are actually
doing something important with your career.
The mentality of your ex husband is very different from what the OP is dealing with in her husbands worries. I was very much exposed to the kind of mentality your ex husband has through various male family members and actually had a touch of it myself. It was part of the reason I went into nursing. That mentality and my abandonment complex lead me to want to grow up very fast. And when I started college all I wanted to do was marry my then girlfriend and have a family.
When I started college she was still in high school and I didn't encourage her to go to college at all. I didn't want my wife to have to work and I wanted her to stay at home and raise babies. It was partially that mentality that cost me that relationship.
The next serious relationship I got into was with a very independent single mother who was 4 years old than I was and she changed a lot of things about my mentality. She actually kicked my ass in line and I was actually in love with her enough to change. That relationship didn't work out either but I'm grateful I dated her and don't have a negative thing to say about her. Infact we still speak occasionally and without her changing my mentality I wouldn't be where I am now. My fiancee is also a very independent woman, she's also educated and insists on working. And I'm absolutely, completely head over heels in love with her and know without a doubt that she's who I want for the rest of my life. And you want to talk about the tables turning in fact when she has our baby, the plan is for her to become the main provider and for me to cut back to part time and focus more on school while being a somewhat stay at home dad.
Now that I've rambled on about that I have a twist on the OPs unsupportive spouse question. How about other guys have any of you experience wives with the jealousy issues because you work in a mainly female workplace? Or do any of you ladies happen to have given your old man grief over being a nurse?
My husband is very happy that I am going to school to become a nurse. Two of his cousins got divorced because their wives (yes both) had an affair with a doctor, so i was afraid that he would not be supportive but so far so good.............
My husband and I watch the show scrubs all the time and he has asked me if I think working in a hospital would be like that show ( he really knows it would not be..... he was just making a joke):hhmth:
all in all, he has been real supportive about it all :redbeathe
I'm graduating in May (), and my husband has been nothing BUT supportive. It IS necessary to have those talks about what concerns him - if nothing else, he just needs to vent to you his concerns. Maybe just airing them out with a good talk will help. Maybe...
When it gets to that point where you're in clinicals, tell him what you're days are like....and like others have said, it's NOT at ALL what you see on TV. There's no "Hey, baby...wanna find the nearest lockable closet?" when your hands are in someone's rectum placing a Fecal Management System. And at the end of a shift/day, your first instinct is to get to your car as soon as possible...NOT to seek out that cute guy from Radiology.
Am I missing something? I don't see the corelation between the television show "Scrubs" and "the closest thing to real life." Yeah, I have watched that show and I don't any more because it doesn't seem like anything realistic at all. More like slap stick spoofing to me. Apoligize for getting off subject here but the Scrubs thing made me go.. what? Personally I'm more apt to be propositioned by the security guard than any of the medical staff!
your husband just sounds insecure. good for you for going to school and working!
I'm single, and half my family doesn't care what I'm doing so long as I'm happy and not a hobo. my dad's mother, on the other hand, threw a FIT about me wanting to be a nurse. I'm a guy, and I'm one of the smartest people in the family, so she was very very annoyed with the decision to switch to nursing school. she thinks I should be a professor or go to medical school or something. she said nursing was beneath me...(she was a nurse back in the 50s), I told her cleaning people's feet wasn't beneath Jesus...she ignored that but stopped bothering me after that haha.
Specializes in Med-Surg, HH, Tele, Geriatrics, Psych.
I'm in excellent shape and super hot and I've never had anyone make a play for me at any facility. You can tell your husband that there is probably no work environment more immune (atleast from my experience) to sexuality then a hospital. In an office people are dressed up and going out to lunch and have other things on their mind. When I'm at work my mind almost never leaves my patient assignments because you are always preparing yourself for the unexpected. That is not hot, and even I cannot make it so.
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), and my husband has been nothing BUT supportive. It IS necessary to have those talks about what concerns him - if nothing else, he just needs to vent to you his concerns. Maybe just airing them out with a good talk will help. Maybe...
HM2VikingRN, RN
4,700 Posts
Scrubs is one of my favorite shows for just that reason...