Cousin commited suicide..could use some prayers guys - page 4

Mods...feel free to move, i'm having trouble navigating site with parents computer... Just found out my cousin, jumped off a bridge overlooking the major expressway here. As you could imagine,... Read More

  1. by   UM Review RN
    Please accept my deepest condolences for your tragic loss, rehabnurse.
  2. by   DolphinRN84
    I am so sorry rehabnurse, and everyone else who has suffered a loss. ((((HUGS))))
  3. by   dekatn
    Prayers said for you and your family. My heart goes out to you. Please, please take care of yourself. I lost my brother to suicide. You have to take care of yourself.
  4. by   danissa
    to both Rehab and Realnurse....I'm so sorry for the losses you have both suffered. Please take some time, amid all the pain, to think of yourselves and how you are coping. Take time to heal, just take care of YOU I guess. Tough times, please know, you are in my thoughts.:icon_hug:
  5. by   rehab nurse
    Thank you all, so much for everything. It has definitely helped me to come here. I don't post much, but I am always here reading.

    I don't know who knows me or remembers me here. Probably not anyone. But, I have been off work this whole year struggling with cancer and chronic pain. The pain has been off the charts lately, even with all the morphine. Not only is my body in pain, my mind is in pain. Since I couldn't work, this year I used up all my savings, my retirement, etc. I have had to move back in with family, which is SO difficult. My 5 and 6 year old and I are togther, though, and that's all that matters. I was looking forward to a simple chirstmas at home, esp since my two children were taken out this week to shop with a gift card and a volunteer fireman and army specialist. i was so thankful for that, because they wouldn't have gotten gifts otherwise. I have really been struggling with my own depression due to my illness and not being able to be productive.

    I know how it feels when things are so bleak and you feel the only way out is death. I've thought those things myself a few times, esp when the pain is out of control, or when i am sick from treatment. but then i think of my kids without their mom, and i just couldn't do that. i feel so bad that ken didn't reach out before this.

    my emotions are all over the place..the only solace i have is that i know he is no longer in pain. he is no longer a tormented soul, but i still miss him. my heart aches that i didn't see this coming.

    thanks to all who replied, it really meant a lot. thank you.
  6. by   polish nurse
    My prayers are with you.
  7. by   Coffee Addict
    Sorry about your loss. God bless you and your family.