Confrontational co-workers!!!!!

[mina123]

I don't even know what happened at work yesterday but two of the co workers got really angry at me and started double tagging me in the break room. This is what happen. I work on a very busy med surg floor. We only have one assistant NM who is very good at her job and when she is working she takes cares of calling all the doctors, all critical lab values, any other issues with pt or pt;s families in a very smooth way. Basically when she is there the unit runs perfectly. But she only works three days a week that leaves 4 days out of week when someone else is in charge position. Now any one of the floor nurses is picked up randomly to be charge for that day. When any other charge nurse is there besides my NM i don't feel comfortable working with them. Because it seems like with a load of 8 pt's in morning shift i am also unit secterary, calling all doctors, managing disruptive families, and doing my usual pt care and passng meds responsibility. 8am i already had a rapid response with other craziness. MY DON asked me i looked so frazzeled i then in calm manner with one of other coworker standing next to me said i don't like when our usual assistant nm is not there, when some one else besides her is in charge all hell breaks loose. I did not by any means applied that other people in charge are not doing there jobs well; my only implication for that statement was it's just chaotic and crazy when someone else is in charge. So the charge nurse for that day and the other coworker who said everthing to the charge double tagged me in the break room and started saying F words and things like go to other floor and work. I remained very calmed and polite and explained how i felt. And even after my break on floor i talked to them very politely. But now i feel they are going to spread rumours about me which is not true at all and try to sabotage me. I have not said anything to DON yet. Should i wait and see what happens or tell the DON what took place??????

[leslie :-D]

Lesson learned? Are you sure about that?

So ... the next time you publicly criticize the performance of one of your coworkers, and they have an issue with it ... you'll not do them the *favor* of allowing them some response? Am I reading this right?

Hmm.

i'm w/you, altra.

op, i'd be very careful as to how you state your concerns to your coworkers.

as a few posters have mentioned, the charge nurse of the day obviously (and rightly) took it personally, feeling offended by your criticism of the floor when the anm is off.

of course it's ideal when there is someone to deal w/families, md's, lab values and other time-consuming duties, but unless it's in a job description, no one is obligated to take on such duties.

and so, because of the increase in your workload when anm is off, you're essentially blaming the added stressors, on the charge nurse.

and that's unfair.

if you do speak to them, i would definitely address the profanity used when expressing themselves.

that was totally uncalled for and most unprofessional.

but you also might consider clarifying your complaints, in that it's the extra work you're upset about:

but that you understand it is not their fault that they handle charge differently than the anm.

i hope this gets resolved...

professionally, of course.

leslie:)

[Jailhouse nurse]

Interesting that they had to "buddy up" to attack you. Perhaps they are not confident enough/professional enough/secure enough to approach you individually, and calmly present their concerns. Without the "F" bombs.

Sounds as if they coached each other into a fit of righteous indignation over what was an accurate observation on your part.

I wish you better luck in the future with this dynamic duo!

[mina123]

Lesson learned? Are you sure about that?

So ... the next time you publicly criticize the performance of one of your coworkers, and they have an issue with it ... you'll not do them the *favor* of allowing them some response? Am I reading this right?

Hmm.

First of all i did not publicly criticize anybody's job performance. When we have a charge position that charge should and yes her job describes her to follow with all the MD'S, lab values, call any critical result, put in medication orders and so forth. That's what the charge on our unit does. However some charge nurses completely leave the nurses hanging to do all the stuff and they are sitting around sipping on there coffee. As i mentioned in my post i already had 8am rapid response and intubation on the floor because no ICU beds were available. This charge nurse did not help me at all and i had 7 other pt;s wanting something or other. So yes it was crazy that day, and if i wanted to sneak behind her back and bad mouth her i would not have just casually in my conversation with my don IN FRONT OF A CO-WORKER SAID ANYTHING! meaning if i was ****** at her job performance or what not. It was just a blur of moment i said something and PEOPLE WHO OBVIOUSLY KNOW AND DO NOT HAVE SELF CONFIDENCE OF THERE JOB PERFORMANCE TOOK IT SERIOUSLY THAT IT WAS SAID AGAINST THEM! If any of the nurses goes and complains about my job performance i won't worry about what the DON has to say about it you know WHY? because i have 100% confidence that the DON will tell other nurses to mind there own business. What i am trying to say is these fake charge nurses know they are not able to perform any of the required duties then why do it at all??????????? If you are not able to handle your job let the assistant NM or DON know don't let the other 4 nurses on your floor suffer because you suck at your jobs. And in response of your favor i meant that i am not going to DON with the complain of F words and things like that which was said to me because again my DON is very strict and she might actually suspend them for few days and i don't want that for them on there record. I know i am a bigger person then them and if my heart is clean i really don't care what other person thinks!

[Altra, BSN, RN]

First of all i did not publicly criticize anybody's job performance. ... casually in my conversation with my don IN FRONT OF A CO-WORKER SAID ANYTHING! meaning if i was ****** at her job performance or what not. It was just a blur of moment i said something and PEOPLE WHO OBVIOUSLY KNOW AND DO NOT HAVE SELF CONFIDENCE OF THERE JOB PERFORMANCE TOOK IT SERIOUSLY THAT IT WAS SAID AGAINST THEM!

Whatever you said "in front of a coworker" was indeed public.

i really don't care what other person thinks!

You've made that clear.

[leslie :-D]

When we have a charge position that charge should and yes her job describes her to follow with all the MD'S, lab values, call any critical result, put in medication orders and so forth. That's what the charge on our unit does. However some charge nurses completely leave the nurses hanging to do all the stuff and they are sitting around sipping on there coffee. As i mentioned in my post i already had 8am rapid response and intubation on the floor because no ICU beds were available. This charge nurse did not help me at all and i had 7 other pt;s wanting something or other. So yes it was crazy that day, and if i wanted to sneak behind her back and bad mouth her i would not have just casually in my conversation with my don IN FRONT OF A CO-WORKER SAID ANYTHING! meaning if i was ****** at her job performance or what not. It was just a blur of moment i said something and PEOPLE WHO OBVIOUSLY KNOW AND DO NOT HAVE SELF CONFIDENCE OF THERE JOB PERFORMANCE TOOK IT SERIOUSLY THAT IT WAS SAID AGAINST THEM!

if these duties are in the job description, then they failed to do their jobs.

but whether you want to admit it or not, you were indeed, indirectly complaining about cn not helping out...

i.e., not doing her job.

and knowing she was wrong, she became defensive and pounced on you.

so it has absolutely nothing to do with self-confidence.

you were 'indirectly' ratting her out by putting the focus on the chaos...

which wouldn't have happened if cn was doing her job.

while cn was 100% wrong in not doing her duties, you need to take some responsibility here as well.

leslie

[bagladyrn, RN]

You've had some good feedback on the situation from others. The only suggestion I would add is that any time you are confronted by coworkers in a hostile manner, walk away. Tell them, interrupting the attack if necessary, that you will only discuss the matter in the presence of a supervisor, then leave.

If they have what they feel is a legitimate complaint, they will do so and it will help all to sort out the situation. If it is attempted bullying and intimidation they will not be willing or able to continue it in front of a witness/authority figure.

[Scrubby]

If that was me I too would be absolutely livid if someone criticised me like that in front of my NM. Your actions were absolutely unprofessional saying 'all hell breaks loose, i don't like it when so and so isn't there'. My goodness I would have pulled you aside (by myself) and let you know you were out of line. Just because you didn't 'sneak behind her back' does not mean that you did the right thing. In future, express your concerns PRIVATELY with your NM/DON.

I'm not saying this nurse was 100% in the right, it sounds like she needs more experience in the leader ship role and how to deal with conflict in a more professional manner. BUT.... as a nurse you should know that if the charge is not providing safe staffing, your concerned that patients are at risk as well as your license then you document and report it.

And just out of curiosity while your charge nurse is doing nothing have you every asked them directly for some assistance and let them know how busy it is and your concerned about patient safety?

[loveshospital]

Interesting that they had to "buddy up" to attack you. Perhaps they are not confident enough/professional enough/secure enough to approach you individually, and calmly present their concerns. Without the "F" bombs.

Sounds as if they coached each other into a fit of righteous indignation over what was an accurate observation on your part.

I wish you better luck in the future with this dynamic duo!

I think it was cowardness more than anything with those two....

[Straydandelion]

Because it seems like with a load of 8 pt's in morning shift i am also unit secterary, calling all doctors, managing disruptive families, and doing my usual pt care and passng meds responsibility.

My first thought was how can you do that and patient care? This unit has no regualr unit secretary and no regular NM but just an assistant? IMO of course the unit will run smoother with a NM but it seems to me a full time one would be in order.

As far as the unprofessional responses of your co-workers I would tend at this point unless another incident happens, to just let it roll of your shoulders as you posted, however I would ALSO go to the DON and mention your thoughts stressing the unit works smoother with someone in charge full time yet all do their best when they are charge, it is just a matter of experience and mainly consistency.

[Magsulfate, BSN, RN]

Well, considering they confronted you using vulgar language over something that you stated directly to the DON, I believe you need to go to your DON about this.

You can tell her,, remember what I told you when you asked me how it was going? Well, so and so did this to me.. and then state exactly what they did and what they said.

The DON knows for a fact what you told her, and if she thinks there is something wrong with what you said then she would have already told you. There is ABSOLUTLY NO EXCUSE for being bullied like that at work.

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

To be honest, not everyone is charge material. I really believe that only those who are qualified and WILLING should be given this responsibility for reasons like what happened here. Some people are more organized with their own particular assignments than they are running an entire unit or area.

I am sort of in such a situation. My nursing leaders seem to be very impressed with my organization and skills, even as an LPN. Without asking, suddenly, they assigned me to be team leader of a corridor in our OB-GYN clinic. I really hate it. I can say that I am doing a decent job (at least for these past two weeks), but there are many aspects of this that I am not the least bit interested in or inspired to do so, and it may show one day. But, I do my best. Maybe one day, there will be a person to make a comment like that about me, and I probably would be offended because in my mind I am saying "I never wanted to be bothered with this crap in the first place, but was basically thrown into this"...but rather than show discontent, I do the best that I can.

I have heard it said many times that if you come with a complaint, try to also have a solution. Since sometimes, that is difficult for me, I try to organize myself as best as I can within the chaos.

Not knowing the OP, I can't say for sure what she meant, and I sure as heck don't support the aggressors, but for now, my advice is simply to keep comments neutral in order to keep the peace.

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

dear mina123, i know you meant no harm, but you are indeed stating that the other charges don't do as good a job. i'm sure that's factual as well, but when you make statements like that you know you have to be prepared for confrontation, because a lot of people have more pride than desire to improve themselves. what i mean is, someone who wants to excell in their job might have asked you how the assistant nm handles stuff. instead you got foul language, which, breakroom, parking lot or other area, is completely unacceptable and therefore i would ask for a meeting with your next higher manager to resolve this. i'm afraid your correct about this not going away on its own and the use of this language alarms me quite a bit.

excellently worded!