Close to breaking... seriously. - page 2

I've been working SICU (with the exception of a short-lived foray into Case Management a few months ago - HATED it) for about 14 years now. I've seen some really tragic things in my time and somehow... Read More

  1. by   Nicky30
    I do not have anything to add to the words of wisdom already uttered here. But I would like to send some hugs to see you through.

  2. by   graceomalleyRN
    I wish you weren't experiencing so much pain right now. HOWEVER...I can only hope that if I am ever in need of a wonderful, caring, compassionate nurse that I will be lucky enough to get someone just like you.
  3. by   Diary/Dairy
    SICU, I am so sorry that you are suffering so badly for your patients.

    Take some time for yourself and go see a councilor in Employee Assistance. I have before, when I felt overwhelmed by life in general. I hope things get better for you. :icon_hug:
  4. by   EmmaG
    I can't add to what has been said, only to say you're in my prayers.

  5. by   traumaRUs
    Know that yoiu are in my prayers. Please take care of yourself.
  6. by   Grace Oz
    Sending you a BIG ((((HUG))))
    Might be time to step back awhile and take care of YOU!
    As nurses, we tend to overlook ourselves.
    We matter too.
    Wishing you all the best.
  7. by   sharona97
    I agree that putting yourself first is the hardest thing to do when you take care of people as your job. It's ok to ask and get through this tough time ,in wich I am so sorry for. Unfortunetly death happens, but we need one another to help with the coping of such a tragedy. I hope you can find help with employee assistance, take some time for yourself, and I wish you peace in your healing.
  8. by   cmo421
    You have done a really great job, and you know that . Some of us are more affected by our work then others.The first person u need to take care of now is u, or u will not be able to do ur job or take care of ur family. If need be,take a few days off. When u go to work,ask for a walkie /talkie assisgnment,if possible,or a lighter one . Explain why, they will have ur back. Call employee assisstance and talk to someone. We have all been there and r behind ya 100 %. Good luck and keep us posted!
  9. by   oramar
    God bless you, you really are a wonderful person and a good nurse.
  10. by   icurn1993
    After being an ICU RN for the past 8 years, I can understand your emotional state. Sometimes because we see so much and have so much to deal with in the ICU, we feel we can handle anything. I know that I can distance myself emotionally from most situations enough so that I can do my job. But there are times when, for some reason, the situation hits home and emotions that have been suppressed for so long come out. The most difficult time that I had was when a former co-worker was a patient in my ICU. I was the nurse taking care of her that night. She was on the unit after having a minor stroke (unusual since she was only in her 30's). She was doing fine and we had several conversations concerning our prior work experiences at our former work place. I had been performing neuro checks with no changes. After taking care of my patient next door, I heard noises from her room and found her having a seizure. Her condition deteriorated, she coded and we ended up losing her. When her 18-year-old daughter (who just had a new baby) came in the room later, she broke down into hysterical tears. I still remember that to this day and I am sitting here crying just remembering it. I felt it was my fault and felt such guilt. Later I learned they found she had a clotting disorder and threw a shower of mini clots that night, so there was nothing I could have done to prevent this from happening. For a while, I seriously considered leaving the ICU, but didn't.

    My advice for "Close to Breaking" is to try to distance yourself from work for a while. If you have some time off that you can take, do so. Make sure you are doing activities outside of work that you enjoy (particularly if you are someone who lives and breathes work even on your days off). Find someone who you can talk to and vent your feelings (either personal contact or professional). If you can cut your hours at work, maybe try that to create more time off from the ICU environment (that helped with my situation). If none of these works, it might be time to leave the ICU for a while and find some other area of nursing that you enjoy.
  11. by   Tangerine Lipgloss
  12. by   bigsyis
    Quote from canoehead
    I second the idea of employee assistance. Sometimes it all becomes too heavy to carry, and you deserve someone to to care for YOU.
    I agree. Only those who have been in similar situations know what it can be like. On the one hand, since you have done this for 14 years, you know that not EVERY day (or even week) is this bad. But when they are, the emotional weight seems very heavy and like it will never end.
  13. by   GeminiTwinRN
    I feel your pain. I'm in a similar place right now.

    My heart goes out to you. ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))