Gay labeling, is it just plain mean? Or sexual harrassment?

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recently i was approaching another nurse (who happens to be effeminate and thought to be gay, but who cares really?) to give report and when beginning report was dumbfounded when a nurse in the hallway said to another nurse: "ooo! a gay nurse giving report to another gay nurse!" now, i felt hurt. i am not your typical bakersfield area macho dude, but what gives her the right to put me into any box. i am affraid to bring this to management or possibly write her up for sexual harrassment. i told my wife that i am even fearful of having conversations with men that appear flamboyantly gay for being categorized; not that i am scared of turning gay. sometimes i feel that it might be easier in the field to be gay and kind than to be heterosexual and kind. i just hate this crap. really quite irritating to have your coworker who you think is a smart nurse make such a cruel judgement call on her coworker. anyway, your thoughts on this topic...

Specializes in Medical Assisting, Phlebotomy.
recently i was approaching another nurse (who happens to be effeminate and thought to be gay, but who cares really?) to give report and when beginning report was dumbfounded when a nurse in the hallway said to another nurse: "ooo! a gay nurse giving report to another gay nurse!" now, i felt hurt. i am not your typical bakersfield area macho dude, but what gives her the right to put me into any box. i am affraid to bring this to management or possibly write her up for sexual harrassment. i told my wife that i am even fearful of having conversations with men that appear flamboyantly gay for being categorized; not that i am scared of turning gay. sometimes i feel that it might be easier in the field to be gay and kind than to be heterosexual and kind. i just hate this crap. really quite irritating to have your coworker who you think is a smart nurse make such a cruel judgement call on her coworker. anyway, your thoughts on this topic...

this has no place in nursing or in any other healthcare environment, period. the coworkers should be disciplined and suspended. obviously, the coworkers have some "issues" of their own, like, maybe, immaturity ???

a male nurse (or in my case ma) is no more gay than he is anything else. one will not "turn gay" just because he is kind to others, or works with someone thought to be gay. in truth, we're all a little bit gay, straight, bi, crazy, stressed, overworked, and most-importantly, underpaid. yes, i said we're all a bit gay...do some homework everyone !

i've found that i'm presumed as gay because i wanted to get into nursing, despite not being physically able to do construction or those other "manly" jobs anymore. i've worked in warehouses handling everything from chemicals to truck engines, and i've also pushed paper, typed, and now do flu shots and health screenings. we have a lot of stereotypes to overcome. the man (or woman) can be either doctor or nurse. in case no one noticed, it's now the 21st century !

one's sexual preferences are just that...one's own. keep all that mess off the job. in fact, keep any and all dirty laundry at home...anywhere but a healthcare environment. we're in business to help others with their problems, but if we're "having issues" we cannot be effective for our customers (the patients...remember them ?) who pay our salaries.

thanks for letting me get my $0.00000000000000000002 in edgewise.

paul

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recently i was approaching another nurse (who happens to be effeminate and thought to be gay, but who cares really?) to give report and when beginning report was dumbfounded when a nurse in the hallway said to another nurse: "ooo! a gay nurse giving report to another gay nurse!" now, i felt hurt. i am not your typical bakersfield area macho dude, but what gives her the right to put me into any box. i am affraid to bring this to management or possibly write her up for sexual harrassment. i told my wife that i am even fearful of having conversations with men that appear flamboyantly gay for being categorized; not that i am scared of turning gay. sometimes i feel that it might be easier in the field to be gay and kind than to be heterosexual and kind. i just hate this crap. really quite irritating to have your coworker who you think is a smart nurse make such a cruel judgement call on her coworker. anyway, your thoughts on this topic...

kinda reminds me of all the times people assumed i was straight. ironic.

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Specializes in Licensed Practical Nurse.

that truly was not funny, if you say you're not gay then you're not, noone has the right to make comments in private or in public as the nurse did. i would have confronted the nurse first because it seems that she has some stereotyping issues going on, its sad to see this inside of the profession! we're all nurses! so whats her problem??

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I dont understand why there is a different standard between what is acceptable in the hopsital and in the business world other than the concentration of women is higher

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Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
I dont understand why there is a different standard between what is acceptable in the hopsital and in the business world other than the concentration of women is higher

I don't really think there is a different standard. What the OP described would be inappropriate in any environment. If the higher concentration of women makes any difference, I suppose it might be a higher incidence of women harassing men than is observed in a predominantly male field. That is, there are apt to be more obnoxious women in a group of five hundred than a group of five, just as there are more apt to be blonde women, or black women, in a larger sample. Ten percent of 500 is fifty, but ten percent of five is, effectively, zero.

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I dont understand why there is a different standard between what is acceptable in the hopsital and in the business world other than the concentration of women is higher

I believe that is the reason right there, and that's not selective to just women. If a beautiful woman passes a construction site, what do you "expect" will happen. Most likely some vulgar language directed toward her. That's not acceptable in the business field, either. The truth is that when people work that closely with one another, they tend to get comfortable, and sometimes they get a little too comfortable. Sometimes well meaning, good people go over the line. Or sometimes they're just pigs.

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Kinda reminds me of all the times people assumed I was straight. Ironic.

*snort*

I still say that, while the woman who did it is a jerk, who cares if someone thinks you're gay? I mean, I was once walking through Greenwich Village with a girlfriend and some suburban teenaged guy starting gay-bashing us so yeah, it mattered then, but only because this guy was evil, not because someone thought I was gay. Who gives the proverbial flying?

You're a guy in nursing. While the stereotype shuldn't prevail it does, and a thicker skin over people thinking you're gay would be strongly advisable.

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recently i was approaching another nurse (who happens to be effeminate and thought to be gay, but who cares really?) to give report and when beginning report was dumbfounded when a nurse in the hallway said to another nurse: "ooo! a gay nurse giving report to another gay nurse!" now, i felt hurt. i am not your typical bakersfield area macho dude, but what gives her the right to put me into any box. i am affraid to bring this to management or possibly write her up for sexual harrassment. i told my wife that i am even fearful of having conversations with men that appear flamboyantly gay for being categorized; not that i am scared of turning gay. sometimes i feel that it might be easier in the field to be gay and kind than to be heterosexual and kind. i just hate this crap. really quite irritating to have your coworker who you think is a smart nurse make such a cruel judgement call on her coworker. anyway, your thoughts on this topic...

i think she was trying to make a joke and sincerely thought that you were gay. i would pull her to the side and show her a picture of your lovely wife. i think she will get the point. do you want a button for christmas that you can pin on your scrubs saying, "i love my wife... every night." or something of that nature. (i'm jut messing with you please don't take offenses.)

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See... as a gay man, I think I have somewhat of a different perspective. I think she was being sincere, didn't know you weren't not gay and if you mentioned it to her she probably felt like a dumb ass. It really sounded like she was trying to make friends. No this is just my humble opinion, but if I were in your shoes I would try to talk to her, get to know her a little better let her know it's okay to joke around or whatever, but you really don't appreciate the gay comments, especially around other staff. I don't know... I really don't see this as something that should be written up to get her in trouble, even though I know it should. I think she just made a stupid mistake while trying to connect to two, seemingly, gay guys.

I understand from my point of view that some girls are more comfortable around gay guys than straight guys... or straight women for that matter.... that's probably why she took such misguided liberties. I think if you talk to her, she will feel bad enough about the situation. I really don't think she meant harm.

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Strong offense? Why? Aren't there worse things?

If someone accused me of being straight... I'd probably laugh and just shake my head, "no". That would probably be the end of it. Im not trying to ad hominem the poster but I think his pride and his conception of what he thinks homosexuality is, is what is causing the reaction. If my friend (J, who is straight) was called gay in a serious manner, he would probably be like, "Thanks for the compliment, but no... I like women." True... he has a weird sense of humor... but I don't think being called gay she be considered negative, just because thats not what you are. If anything it should just be corrected and moved on with. She wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. He only mistake was making an assumption.

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Yes, because isn't the very definition of manhood watching sports? I wouldn't feel too bad about "biting your tongue." The mind does have a tendency to boggle in the face of massive stupidity. Then, too, as in the OP, one wonders what one could actually say to someone like that that would even put a dent in their ignorance. More and more, I'm leaning toward the idea that the offender should just be reported to management. It isn't our job to educate these morons.

It's all about pride... it really reeks of which is better than the other.

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Its slander and defamation of character I would definately say something. If the nurse doing the talking means anything to you maybe i would take it up with them otherwise i would go straight to management because its very inappropriate.

So if I'm gay, my character is defamed?... watch yourself.

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