Gandi's quote: what do y'all think?

[susanna]

I still wear a t-shirt that I have worn since the end of high school.

When I was 19 and working in a sort of internship position, working with very disabled and mentally-ill adults(people who have been in institutions their whole lives), a guy remarked on my shirt. I was in the middle of doing something and he interrupted me, "Do you believe that?"

And I said, "What?"

And he said, "What it says on your shirt: The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." He was smiling as he had already thought through a million of these sort of idealisms and theories before, I knew.

I said yes, I did, and I asked him if he believed it and he said, no, of course he didn't but that he found it funny and cute, though. This guy was studying psychology and one of the best, self-confident, self-satisfied interns we had on staff. Fair enough, it does seem a little silly and maybe narcassistic and egotistic to think that by losing yourself in helping other people, you could find yourself. The quote seems to offer a way of aggrandizing the self through helping other people and that is where it is vane. Anyways, its obviously an emotional idealism, not a hard principle of truth and clear direction.

This quote has come to mean a lot to me and it also has come to mean nothing to me over the years. But I've kept the t-shirt with me for a long time. It seems to offer both the power for unlimited amoutns of both vanity and unselfishness, going to the far ends of both extremes. If you follow it and it turns out wrong, then you will have lost bigtime as the quote states: You can't just give a little; You have to go all the way and lose yourself in order to find yourself. Modern psycologists would, of course, disagree with this sort of idealism. What do you think of it? Do you agree with it? How far does this ideal influence the decisions you make and have made and how you treat other people? Is, "the best way to find yourself" truly "to lose yourself in the service of others?" How much of this sort of idealism motivates you to get up every morning and do what you do?

When was the last time you found yourself and felt completely whole? Was it when you had lost yourself that you had found yourself?

[leslie :-D]

i need to think about this question before i respond.

i also need to look up 'aggrandizing'.

can i just answer 'yes'? :chuckle

leslie

[RN Rotten Nurse]

I think the phrase describes co-dependency perfectly. I think if you lose yourself in the service of others, you will lose yourself indeed.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I'm not sure about finding myself. But I do know that when I so service work I get out of my head, forget my problems and count my blessings. To being of service to our fellows is a good thing indeed. :)

[CHATSDALE]

PER ROTTEN NURSE Way back in the "60s...(please don't tell anyone that i can remember that) pseudo intellectuals use to say there was no such way as unselfish acts that if you felt good doing something for someone else then you were being selfish.....i didn't know there were still folks in that mind set..than goodness they are fading out

[leslie :-D]

in its' most simplistic form, i think that through serving others, you will inevitably discover a lot about yourself.

for starters, you will find out if it fulfills you or merely obligates you.

i have found out much about myself just through nursing, which in of itself, is a profession that exclusively serves others.....

my brain is too fried to go much deeper than this at the moment. :chuckle

[HisHands, ASN, RN]

I suppose when I think about this quote Mother Teresa comes to mind. What started off as a way to help others, ended up being complete and utter self-satisfaction (and not in that vanity sort of way). She discovered that kind of peace where you can come home from work at the end of the day to the slum that you call home... close your eyes as you lay on the cold ground, and feel peace and joy in your heart because you know that you made a difference in someone else's life. And, nothing is worth more than that. I don't think she would have traded a six-figure income for any of that. So... yeah, I think you can find yourself when you are self-less.

The Bible is full of self-denying thoughts (I know some may not agree/believe it, but I personally do). "Whoever loses his life for My sake shall find it..." "If any man come after Me, he must denying himself and follow Me..."

When you lose yourself, I think that you lose mindsets that society/the world/ your history have given you. And sometimes you have to lose those socially accepted ideas to really discover yourself.

I guess that's just my $.02, for what it's worth.

[SmilingBluEyes]

That thought is the basis of the tagline underneath my avatar. So you now know what I think.

[leslie :-D]

susanna,

i keep rereading your question, trying to follow the philosophy or logistics of it.

i guess i don't understand 'to lose yourself'....wouldn't that make one totally out of touch with oneself?

[hypnotic_nurse]

I have a friend who is a Zen Buddhist, and she says that

"Work is love made visible."

Not exactly the same sentiment, but similar; I've always liked it. I try to keep it in mind throughout the day, both in my job and chores at home. What I do throughout the day isn't just for a paycheck or for what others think of me or even just to keep the roaches out of the kitchen. If that were all I worked toward, it would be drudgery to me. But by giving of myself to make the world a better place...that's inspiring. At least to me. Other people have other motivations, and more power to 'em.

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

In psych clinicals, this summer, I had a patient who was more depressed than anyone I've ever seen, more than I really understood anyone could be, and I'm embarassed to say what my initial impression was.

Part of our assignment was keeping a journal of the experience, and by the end of the first week, I was almost embarassingly rhapsodical. Every patient I've had has taught me something I needed, but this one made me a nurse. (Still an ignorant student, to be sure, but a point of no return has been passed, and I will never be quite the same person.)

So, in answer to your question, we were asked at the end of clinicals what advice we would give future students for their experience. Other students, past and present, have found the unit I worked on dull and boring, but I felt the key to getting the most of it was giving yourself to the process.

I don't quite equate giving yourself with losing yourself, so I don't entirely agree with Gandhi, but I don't see any way to fully embrace life without opening yourself to all of it.

[wonderbee, BSN, RN]

I, me, mine are bigtime Western words. In the Tibetten hillside, it's always we. If there is but a little bit of anything, it is shared, therefore it is service to others. The thought of hoarding anything would be considered stealing and that wouldn't happen because where would one go? That person would no longer be the part of "we", which could mean death. So literally, one must lose oneself (the "I") in service to others (the "we") to live.

If service to others means losing the I to become we, Western psychology would call that co-dependency and not healthy. Some other cultures would call gaining the "I" to lose the "we" is pretty nearly a crime.

Do you think that's why we, in the West, are having to defend ourselves right now?