Jump to content
susanna

susanna

Member Member
  • Joined:
  • Last Visited:
  • 257

    Content

  • 0

    Articles

  • 3,487

    Visitors

  • 0

    Followers

  • 0

    Points

susanna's Latest Activity

  1. susanna

    Offended by Prayer

    When my patients ask me about the future and the future of the health and ask about my spiritual views and what I beleive, I tell them that I think that everyone should have faith and that everyone goes somewhere safe, in the end.
  2. susanna

    'Moral values' and organ donation

    WOW! This thread got a lot of responses really fast. It looks like a good topic that everyone has a lot of input on. Yeah, in a perfectly just and fair world, a system could be enforced that, if you are eligible(healthy, no transmittable diseases, old enough to make the decision yourself and take responsibility for it) to donate and choose not to for any reason, then you would give up your right from being higher up on the list of accepting donations than other people who do choose to donate. That will never happen and can never happen. Its like charity and fundraising for diseases. When I did fundraising in college, we had people that were taking the money for themselves and whose lives were being very much saved by our funds come in and admit that they NEVER, EVER did anything to raise funds or contribute to charity for anyone else in their same kind of situation in the past. Is it fair that they should receive so much help from us when they never would have thought about lifting a finger to help another person in their situation? When they never contributed and other people have? No. But can you turn them away? No. Can you make a clause that says that, now that they have been helped, they have to make an effort in the future to help others in the same situation? No, that doesn't feel quite right either. I see how you feel though. Its like, so many people suffered in the past from lack of this resource and here you are, giving the resource to someone who wouldn't help someone else with that same resource. You feel irked for the people who still aren't getting the help but who would help someone else in their situation. It makes you angry, its depressing, and its not fair but thats the way it has to be and there is not much more to do about it because, as everyone else has said, its such a personal issue and, even though it makes me feel angry, it just doesn't feel morally right to force people to become donors in order to receive donations.
  3. susanna

    'Moral values' and organ donation

    The person at the DMV told me not to check off organ donor on my driver's liscence because, he said, that would make the doctor less willing to save your life. I put it on anyways, but isn't it true that most doctors take organ donation off their liscence after they get out of medical school? This may be why a lot of people don't vouch for it.When a lot of people complain about moral values(ie. justice, fairness, kindness, equality), if most are referring to getting other people to treat them with these moral values and not really about getting themselves to treat other people with these values, then that means the moral values don't get fulfilled. This is probably why there is inaction.
  4. susanna

    Not feeling to good about a co-worker

    Hi all, I'm so tired. I went to work yesterday and J and my boss were acting like everything was normal. So, I just played along. She seemed a little scared and more polite but still really fake so I decided, right there, not to confront her. This girl is so fake I think she is incapable of listening to anything constructive if it involves telling the truth about her. She does not want to be exposed, I do not want to expose her unless it is constructive and helps me feel better about work. I did stop her when she was bs-ing me about something though yesterday and she seemed a little surprised but I just acted calm and said, Can I please do that instead? I need to do it myself, its not enough to listen to you talk about it. From now on, I'm stopping her whenever I don't feel comfortable with anything she does or says to me. And I'm not letting her leach of my self-confidence anymore. I just realised how nervous she had been making me the day since I got there and how unsure of myself I've been and unhappy because she was always there with her "I don't want my trainee to feel confident hin herself" bloodsuckers. I can't believe how far I let this go on and how much I've let this eat me and my ability to feel safe and secure away. I've been running around like a crazy person lost because I've given this lady the right to lie, manipulate, and have complete control over me like she has wanted. Today, I am not going to do the special project for my boss that I said I offered to do for him without charging the hours I work. I get paid the way she gets paid and treated the way she gets treated, nothing less.
  5. susanna

    Not feeling to good about a co-worker

    No, thanks though, I do feel vindicative and angry but not enough to actually threaten anyone or threaten to sue anyone. You can really sue someone for this though? I didn't know that. I think I'm taking this too personally; this girl just has a need to feed her ego and vent her anger and frustation on the safest target, its not really "me" as a person she is picking on. Yeah, I don't have another job lined up right now though and I think it'll kind of look bad to tell a prospective employer that I'm leaving my old job after only working there for five months and telling them its becasue I couldn't stand a co-worker and couldn't handle her. No, this is not a union position. Thanks for the hugs, I really needed them.
  6. susanna

    Offended by Prayer

    No, no, I'm talking about when a person explicity tells you that they don't want it.
  7. susanna

    Not feeling to good about a co-worker

    To the first question, no, or atleast, I highly doubt it. I don't really want to think he has any special attachment to her or anything. Not becasue it wouldn't matter but because it only makes me feel worse. I'm staying because I need the paycheck and because I don't have another job that pays as much lined up right now and becasue I've already made a lot of sacrifices for this job and although I don't think I need to be rewarded for sacrifices already made, I don't want to leave this job that I've sacrificied so much for already. I will try talk to both my boss and the girl on Monday. I will tell you guys how it goes.
  8. susanna

    Not feeling to good about a co-worker

    She has the same job function as I do but I think she hired me for some reason. I thought what I wrote was actually pretty non-threatening and more constructive than destructive, I mean I wasn't going to tattletale in front of the boss about her as I indicated when I wrote, This I will say in front of both of them and This I will say in private. And I tried to make all "I need from you" statements and no blatantly accusatory "You do this wrong" statements. I do agree that it is risky telling her, This scares me, and that I do not really want to tell a person who is manipulative about my emotions. Because she might just keep taking advantage of that. But, I thought telling her that in front of the boss will show them both, in no unclear terms, that her actions interupt with the way I function and that if they want me to function at my best, she must stop. Thankyou for your advcie though. I like your advice and will take it and really appreciate it. If you really think I could lose my job for speaking like this, I will take that into consideration and maybe only speak to my boss and not her.
  9. susanna

    Not feeling to good about a co-worker

    You are right. I do want to quit and find another job. But my friends all told me not to and you know what, they are right. This isn't the first time someone has made me feel so bad at work that I quit. This time, I'm not giving to give up my job because someone else is pushing me out. Come Monday, I am going to confront both her and my boss and tell them that I'm here to stay and I want to feel self-confident in my job and what I am doing there and feel like I have a secure place and I need them to do some things for me in order for me to do this: I will speak to them both: To her, I am going to say: *I need to feel that I can say, NO, to you and that you will listen and respect that no means no for a good reason and to listen to my reasoning. I need you to listen when I say NO. *I need you to stop picking on whatever I do and trying to control how I do it because I need to develop my own capacity to think for myself and my own self-confidence in what I do and how I see things I can't do that when you get upset that I don't do things your way and when I don't take your advice. *I need you to not scream and shout and curse and intimidate when I don't do what you want me to do because that scares me and when I'm scared, I can't think. I find that manipulative of my emotional state and my emotional security when you do that. I need you to not do that in order for me to stay sane and stable. *I need you not to lie to me like when you lied about your training. You were working with a girl before who quit. I asked you who you worked with before and you did not mention her. I need to you to include me as a teammate here and include me on the details of what you are doing and what is happening or what has happened in the past and not lie about it. To her, in private, I will say: Editied To him, in private, I will say: *I need you to not lie to me about certain things about my job such as: (There's a few things he has lied about and I don't want to post them here) *I treat you with the respect that I treat my parents. I don't lie to you and when you have said that you "don't want to pay me" for certain hours I work or things I do, I beleived that you couldn't pay me and I worked without pay for a lot of things. But I see that the other two people who work here are not taking any pay cuts or cuts in their hours. I need you to treat me as equally as them and pay me as equally as them. I need to pay my bills and this job ius not cutting it for me. You promised 20 hours of payed work every week when I first came here and I need at least 15 hours to pay my own expenses. I need you to keep your promise and not skimp on my salary, unless you are planning to skimp on everyone else's salary too. Is this all too threatening? Should I say all this in any other way? I probably won't get around to saying half of it, in reality, but tell me what you think. How else should I put things?
  10. susanna

    Offended by Prayer

    I'm sorry/ I know you guys are all tired here. Or maybe some of you are just fooling around. I don't know. But don't see how people here don't understand that it doesn't make other people feel good when they do something to a dead body that that person didn't want done??? "It doesn't feel good or right with me. This is my body. I don't want you to do it. Can you not do it, please?" What is so wrong or difficult about that request that people here feel they rightfully can bypass it???
  11. susanna

    Not feeling to good about a co-worker

    No, no, I need criticism. That is what I came here for. I guess I'm not really "playing the part of the victim" as you say. When I said, "play", I guess I really didn't mean "play" as in act. I don't "act" like a victim at work at all and I'm not getting anything out of feeling like this, I don't feel superior or "right" at all, I just feel down and boxed in in a way that I want to get out of. I'm quite willing to see things in another way that is constructive and that does not involve making me into some kind of tyrannical monster who only defends herself and pushes everyone else out of the way. I'm just afraid you might be saying that I am to blame for all this and that I get whatever bullying that I deserve.
  12. susanna

    Not feeling to good about a co-worker

    What can I say, This person won't stop being overbearing and intimidating? She's not my boss. I think I would get fired for filing for harrasment charges against my boss for him not doing anything about it. If you guys were in my situation, do you think it would be better to confront this person and tell her how you feel or, not wanting to give this person the satisfaction of knowing how badly she makes you feel because you already know SHE KNOWS that she's been making you feel bad or try to "ignore her and her tirades"? I think I am going to try to ignore her and keep saying no, when i feel that no is right. I'm pretty sure she already knows that she makes me feel bad.
  13. susanna

    Not feeling to good about a co-worker

    I'm sorry. This is all very good advice but I forgot to tell you all that I don't work in a hospital and I am not a nurse even though I do work with equipment and patients. I work in a very small medical office setting. So I just can't avoid her or transfer to another unit becasue there is no other unit. I like number 3 but the truth is, I don't think this is a person that can be confronted. I mean, look what happened the last time I just confronted her and stood up for myself for the first time over a very, very MINOR detail. What does no mean to her? I said, NO and she has a problem with me saying simply, NO, I will NOT do it your way because I want to do it my way. So then she threatens me by screaming so that me and the other girl could hear. I only think it would make matters worse if I try to confront her again. She'd only keep trying to scare me. SHE KNOWS THAT IT SCARES ME. I'm a quiet, soft person. I can't scream or yell back and I can't really defend myself when someone is trying to make me feel intimidated. ITS NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T TRIED WITH HER BEFORE. How do you tell someone like this to stop picking on you when they think they're perfect? I know that sounds whimpy and that I am being a stupid, lazy bum and not trying but really, my voice breaks, I feel sick, and I start crying when I feel that other people are just "out to get me" becasue they feel they can do it to me. I can't deal with that. For number 4, my and my boss don't have heart-to heart conversations. I already begged him to let me not work with her. To tell you the truth though, I think he doesn't like her either but he doesn't do anything about it because he's not the one she takes her sh** out on. Anyway, he said he would not help me. You are right though. I need to stop playing the victim and make a decision and stand by it. Write now I guess I'm playing the victim because I'm angry and just brainstorming about what I can do and letting out a major vent.
  14. susanna

    Offended by Prayer

    Desecration...that was the word I was thinking about but couldn't find. Thanks, mike. Yeah, I think its desecration too. Its imposing something you want on someone that they didn't want.
  15. Hey guys, Sorry this is so long. I'm feeling really depressed and not too good. There's this girl at me work place and she's really, really controlling. I wish I could tell you guys the whole story but I'm afraid that people at my work might belong to this forum and know who I'm talking about. Anyway, she's the type of person who yells and screams and talks behind your back and backstabbs if you don't do things her way. Last Wednesday, she took a two-hour lunch break(she gets paid for lunch breaks). Later on, I heard her in my boss's office yelling and screaming and them two arguing about something. The door was closed and I was next door with the door closed but I could hear them anyways. I thought, wow, she's really scary. I thought that them two must have been arguing about her going out to a restaurant for two hours and charging him for it because she does this sort of thing all the time. No, actually my boss told me later that she was really pissed at me for not doing something very, VERY(and I mean very) insignificant the way she wanted me to do it. Okay, I guess I'll tell you if u want to understand better. I was training someone and I wanted to show them the equipment they'd be working with and turn the equipment on and let them see what it does before giving them a whole long lecture on the equipment and how its used. She wanted me to give them a lecture first and I listened to her tell me this and I said no three times, I don't want to do things that way, I want to show it to her first. She didn't listen to me and kept smiling her angry smile and saying, no, do it this way. I kept saying, NO, I didn't want to bomboard her with information that she's not going to understand becasue she hasn't seen how the equipment works yet. This girl is the type of person that gets very angry when you say no but I persisted because I'm sick of it and I'm sick of her. She kept repeating to me, No, do it this way(she's not my superior, by the way, just another co-worker) without giving me a reason (other than she just wanted to controll how things were done). I finally said, sure, sure. And when she left, I said, Okay, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to show you how the equipment runs first. SHE found out and she BLEW UP and both me and the other girl were like, "What is that?" when we heard her screaming curses next door. Then, the girl came out, said to me and the girl I was training that she was going home and smiled at the girl and said, "Happy turkey day" and left without saying anything to me. After she left, my boss told me that she was really really pissed. The whole time she was cursing and screaming, it wasn't about her and her lunch break: it was about me and the girl said that I don't listen to her. I then asked my boss if I could not work with her anymore because she freaks me out and becasue I actually don't like being around her too much becasue of other freaky stuff she does. When I first started working there, she would confide in me stuff like how she loved "b******* people" and how she loved how powerful and in control it made her feel to be running tests on people and telling them what to do. She lied to me and told me that she wasn't trained with anyone else when actually the last girl who was training with her quit. She is also the type of person who talks meanly about people behind their backs and then smiles at them when she meets up with them two minutes later. She ALWAYS tries to control the way I do EVERYTHING and so far, I've let her because I've been scared of her and becasue she gets angry and threatening when you don't agree to let her control you. So she brings me down and I don't feel good at work because of her. I wish I could quit to get away from this girl but I need my job. I'd really like it if she stayed as far away from me as possible or if I could stay as far away from her as possible. But be said, no, and that I shouldn't run away from my problems. I don't deserve to be used as an emotional trashcan like this. She is scary and she screams and yells and intimidates and controls when she doesn't get what she wants. She takes advantage that I am a shy person who gives in easily to intimidation and uses me as some kind of scapegoat for her own frustrations. I'm so upset and anxious that I can't think when I'm at work and it amkes it even worse that my boss won't help me. I wish someone would tell her, No, you can't scream and shout to intimidate other people. No, you can't control everything that Susanna does or how she thinks. Thanks for listening. I don't know what do do or how to make myself feel better or stronger. I have been crying for the past few days. I don't want to go back to work where I'd have to work with a controlling, manipulative person again.
  16. susanna

    Offended by Prayer

    What's all this about stovetop? Is there some weird connection being made between stuffing a dead turkey and praying over someone's dead body that I don't know about? These two subjects really dont mix guys. I think a new thread should have been started for it. But anyways, what the heck, no CCUNRS, I'm not offended if someone stuffs a turkey with stovetop...as long as they don't make me eat it.... That stuff is nasty.
×

By using the site you agree to our Privacy, Cookies, and Terms of Service Policies.

OK