I noticed that this thread seems to be missing since the transfer so thought I would resurrect it. If I'm wrong and it is hiding somewhere then let me know.
OK, it's been a while so lets see if we can get this going again.
I killed a spider with a shoe earlier. I don't know how he lost the other seven.
Every selfie I have ever taken is also a portrait of a confused, elderly man trying to figure out which button to press on his phone.
People don't like me reading over their shoulder on trains or buses, which is ridiculous as I'm not even that loud and I do ALL the voices.
Red wine and fish certainly don't mix, in fact mine died.
I've just bought the dictionary as an audiobook, which says it all really.
Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know.
I'm beginning to think my chiropractor is just manipulating me.
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
Saw a great cartoon --- Most all the major bodily organs are standing below one organ who is on a stage. It is the Bladder, which says: I AM THE BLADDER AND I'LL SAY WHEN IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP!"
[Can I get a witness? I knew y'all would identify with this one!]
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
Two bumper stickers I saw yesterday, one of which I didn't understand....and if anyone does understand what it's about, please let me know.
"NORMALIZING HITTING THE CURB"
The other was one which read, was in one way religious, and the other way, kind of an insult:
"Jesus is my airbag."
? That could be dangerous to say, especially in the Bible Belt, calling Jesus an airbag; to me an 'airbag' means someone who talks and talks and talks and talks, and talks, and talks.....
Evening all, it's been a while so lets have a few more funnies. ?
I rang up a sex line. The woman said, "I'll do anything you want." I said, "OK, reverse the charges."
The 300th rule of OCD club is...
My dad had a chicken farm, rather than do it himself.
Nowadays, Botox is nothing to be frowned upon.
Just re-reading Peter Pan. It never gets old.
People who believe in homeopathy are OK in small doses.
It must be hard getting dumped by someone with Multiple Personality Disorder. "It's not you, it's us."
Fun idea: Not got kids? Hire a babysitter anyway, say your kid is asleep upstairs and not to be wakened. On your return ask where your child is.
I read a book on cocaine addiction, after the first few lines I was hooked.
This last one is a bit risque so here goes;
I suffered from premature ejaculation but I was too shy, too embarrassed to talk about it. Eventually I screwed up the courage to go see my doctor, showed her my member and said, "I'm worried I might be a bit premature." She said, "You certainly are, I'm the receptionist."
(Moderators, feel free to remove that last one if you think it violates TOC's.)
Have a good weekend all and stay safe.
I am going to put some of this on the Nursing Humour thread to try to let others see them.
Two bumper stickers I saw yesterday, one of which I didn't understand....and if anyone does understand what it's about, please let me know.
"NORMALIZING HITTING THE CURB"
The other was one which read, was in one way religious, and the other way, kind of an insult:
"Jesus is my airbag."
? That could be dangerous to say, especially in the Bible Belt, calling Jesus an airbag; to me an 'airbag' means someone who talks and talks and talks and talks, and talks, and talks.....
Airbags are "protectives" in cars. So Jesus the protector
ETA normalizing hitting curbs is a call out to bad drivers. Many of us hit the curbs, let's make it normal instead of a bad thing. Not really a funny...
Kitiger, RN
1,834 Posts
What's the leading cause of dry skin? Towels