Game of Groans

Updated:   Published

I noticed that this thread seems to be missing since the transfer so thought I would resurrect it. If I'm wrong and it is hiding somewhere then let me know.

OK, it's been a while so lets see if we can get this going again.

I killed a spider with a shoe earlier. I don't know how he lost the other seven.

Every selfie I have ever taken is also a portrait of a confused, elderly man trying to figure out which button to press on his phone.

People don't like me reading over their shoulder on trains or buses, which is ridiculous as I'm not even that loud and I do ALL the voices.

Red wine and fish certainly don't mix, in fact mine died.

I've just bought the dictionary as an audiobook, which says it all really.

Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know.

I'm beginning to think my chiropractor is just manipulating me.

Have a good and safe weekend.

Specializes in Med-Surg.

What's the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man?

Iron Man stops the bad guys.  Aluminum Man just foils their plans.

Specializes in Med-Surg.

I went to a wedding recently and it was beautiful.  Every cried.  Even the cake was in tiers.  

Specializes in Emergency Department.

I hope everyone had a safe and happy New Year. Time for some silliness that has nothing to do with politicians (Yours and ours).

 


I bought a special alarm clock for politicians. 

It's got a schmooze button and two faces.


Correlation does not imply causality, but the more I say things like that the less people want to talk to me.


I don't much fancy tobogganing but I would do it if pushed.


If the devil ever finds out I've stolen his favourite wig there'll hell toupee.


I'm a big fan of home cooking or, as the police insisted on calling it, arson.


There are two types of people who don't like Easter. Type 1 People on diets and Type 2 Diabetics.


Recreate the excitement of Russian Roulette by putting a lullaby on your iPod and having it on shuffle whilst driving.


I'm pleased to see that the first issue of "Constipation Monthly" magazine comes with a free ring binder.

(Sorry about that one ?)


My brother just admitted he broke my favourite lamp. I'm not sure I'll be able to look at him in the same light ever again.


OK, that's enough to be going on with.

Take care everyone and stay safe.

 

Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? 

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels,

Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics.

Why don't dinosaurs talk?

Because they're dead.

Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics.

Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

Specializes in Emergency Department.
Kitiger said:

Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

Ooooohhhh! I like that one! ???

Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics.

What state has a LOT of dirty laundry? Washington.

Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics.

Places I've Been and Haven't Been

 

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family, and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing.

 

Specializes in Education, FP, LNC, Forensics, ED, OB.
Kitiger said:

Places I've Been and Haven't Been

 

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family, and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing.

 

EXCELLENT, @Kitiger

Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

Saw a bumper-sticker which read:

"I've been to hell; it was too crowded, so I came back."

Specializes in Med-Surg.

When you're with Spanish speaking friends be sure to say "mucho" as much as possible.  It means a lot to them.

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