Gah! So much judgement on all nurses.......

GadgetRN71, ASN, RN · Jul 23, 2011

I'm a member on several forums and this place is pretty tame, believe me. Part of being a mature adult is being able to handle disagreement, and the mods do step in here when things get out of hand.

Now, I'm sure I get accused of being "harsh" for putting forth my opinion. But, nurses are as a rule blunt and we call it like we see it. :)

tele jelly · Jul 23, 2011

I'm a member on several forums and this place is pretty tame, believe me. Part of being a mature adult is being able to handle disagreement, and the mods do step in here when things get out of hand.
Now, I'm sure I get accused of being "harsh" for putting forth my opinion. But, nurses are as a rule blunt and we call it like we see it. :)

Again, while I agree with you nurses are blunt and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it, that was not my point at all. And i don't think anyone has a problem handling disagreement either. None of that was my observation or original point.

bsnanat2 · Jul 23, 2011

op i get your point.

i would like to think that this forum should be like a family; here we should be able to be honest with one another and say what needs to be said.......things that those outside of the profession (family) have no right and no business telling us. with that said, i hope that my candor and straight forwardness has not come off as what you're speaking of. some do go off topic and get offended and spew vitriolic nonsense no matter what the post is about and often end up hijacking a thread. this is who they are. the other factor is that this format allows one to be virtually anonymous which in turns allows one to forgo normal formalities. put all of this together and you now have people behaving in a manner (and saying things) they normally would not. in person, i am much more diplomatic and agreeable. i hope i always make good points here, but this forum does allow me to cut to the chase. i really try not to be argumentative but you should know that some of my posts are designed to elicit further comment and discussion (not offended and argue) while being genuine. i like it when i get opposing viewpoints and find some of them insightful and others are just plain crazy, like that kooky aunt/uncle that always shows up with a jell-o mold. nobody ever eats what they bring, but it wouldn't be a family get-together without them. your point is well taken because, like a real family, one should be able to speak their mind without being offensive and hijacking the conversation.

deemalt, BSN, RN · Jul 23, 2011

I totally see what you are saying. I have literally logged off and said "I'm never going on that site again!" So far, I always come back. Seems akin to road rage at times. People act a certain way when they are in the safety and anonymity of their vehicle and swear like a sailor, wish terrible violent things upon the person that cut them off, etc. (I am not immune to this behavior!) Then, you step out of the car and you become yourself again. Same thing behind computer screen.

You don't always have to say nice things, but there is almost always a way to get your point across without belittling someone. Isn't this what we do at work all the time? Thanks for the post.

79Tango · Jul 23, 2011

"I have been a member of this site for a long time....mostly just to occasionally browse or look something up. Lately I've been on a lot, as I am heading back to school and doing a lot of research. I am really annoyed by all the judgement on this site and all the angst! "

Sounds like yer the one judging!

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Jul 23, 2011

And what is wrong with judgement?

Judgement is part of our intelligence, our survival skills and our development.

I think that often judgement gets a bad rap.

If someone comes here after quiting a job abruptly, asking if they should contest the "do not rehire" tag. We can say , "no". That answers the question basically but does not educate the op. The op also excuses the abrupt departure by saying that they were not warned about needing to give to give a two week notice. I explain that giving notice is "a given" in our profession. This educates the op regarding this issue, if they were not previously aware.

Now, I could have merely said "no" and been done. That answers the question but does allow the op to keep randomly dumping jobs, a pattern that will cost him/her dearly. Or politely explain the accepted norms, in hope of improving their path. Which points to the better outcome overall?

Now, if I called them a moron and berate them, that is rudeness, and not necessarily judgement.

The problem is more judgement without tact and without offering appropriate, safe guidance.

I recently made a comment that might seem tactless. A poster inquired as to travel nursing agencies that hire without required experience. I asked to know the name of said Gencies so that I can avoid them, as much as I would Avoid any business that exhibits such poor ethics and care. Could that be seen as "judgmental" . Certainly, but also seek to maintain my health, reputation from harm.

I think that the issue is rudeness, not so much the judgement itself.

tele jelly · Jul 23, 2011

I think that the issue is rudeness, not so much the judgement itself

Absolutely rudeness is the issue, especially if you interpret the word "judgemental" literally. Of course, in our society we all know what the implied connotation of "judgemental" is. But yes, to be literal, people are rude and judgement certainly has its place.

healthstar, BSN, RN · Jul 23, 2011

Haters/ negative people Never take a vacation

xtxrn, ASN, RN · Jul 23, 2011

Absolutely rudeness is the issue, especially if you interpret the word "judgemental" literally. Of course, in our society we all know what the implied connotation of "judgemental" is. But yes, to be literal, people are rude and judgement certainly has its place.

:yeah: Judgement is necessary. Judgmental is not.

kenyacka · Jul 24, 2011

I think this post is hilarious. It's turned into exactly what the OP stated.. a bunch of people looking for someone to argue with and correct. rofl. It's like if you tell a child "all you can say is no!" and the response is "No it's not."

tokmom, BSN, RN · Jul 24, 2011

Too hot for popcorn today... :lol2:

I have to agree with some other posters. This site is pretty tame! They close the threads just when they are getting good!

carolmaccas66, BSN, RN · Jul 24, 2011

TheCommuter: Yes! all your points are valid and true. But that really wasn't my point....maybe my post was vague.... it doesn't matter. But, trust me; I am NO Polyanna, no cheerleader and I value an honest opinion. Some people on here frankly just seem like micromanaging, judgmental, holier than thou a holes, who refuse to answer the darn question that a poster asks, and instead put in their judgy advice and completely invalidate the poster who most of the time is just asking an innocent question.
Thats what I meant.
Pardon the run on sentences.

I have to agree with this sentiment. I find many of the older posters, or people who have been posting on here a long time, to be as above. If you're new, boy, they DO NOT like you or anything you have to say, and they let you know it in no uncertain terms! Unless MAYBE you are 60 years old and have been nursing for a minmum of 50 years. If you don't have that experience, you can't possibly know anything.

But realistically, not everyone is going to agree with everything you say. You have to expect that. But I do agree some posters are just plain nasty, nasty. They don't bother me now, but I was shocked at first when I came on here with the outright rudeness and, in some cases, racial comments. Unfortunately, people like that will not change. Try to let it slide off you, or report them, which doesn't do me any good so I don't bother now.

Well I will never beat around the bush with what I have to say. You can't sugar coat everything in life, and people will never always agree. I always tell my psych patients not to rely on others, and once they empower themselves - and stand up for themselves - they will feel stronger and they invariably do. The truth DOES hurt sometimes, but I'd rather people were honest with me and fair dinkum than trying to make out everything is OK, when it isn't.

But in the main I agree with you.