I have been a member of this site for a long time....mostly just to occasionally browse or look something up. Lately I've been on a lot, as I am heading back to school and doing a lot of research. I am really annoyed by all the judgement on this site and all the angst!
It seems like people go out of their way (and TOTALLY off topic) to add in their judgmental perspective, put down others and give harsh and unsolicited advice. Its like some people are just waiting to attack. EEK. Its exhausting to read...... Go ahead. Judge me.
ps...of course it goes with out saying that there is also tons of love and support going on here. but im just saying......
I was joking with my husband recently about how you can tell the predominant gender on some forums by how original posters are treated.
I am generalizing, I know, but on forums dominated by men, if you post a question that others think are stupid, they will tell you so.
Show weakness or vulnerability and you will be told to "man up" or "grow a pair".
I love the humor.
You have a better chance of being sent hugs here.
Nurses do not hold the patent on being judgmental.
Actually, I've found the opposite to be true when working very closely with all males.
I worked with plastic and burns & other surgeons for a long time, and when they were annoyed, they just told you straight, then the problem was solved. The guys didn't harp on about it, or bring it up in the next argument. It was a pretty volatile work place, but we all said what we wanted when we wanted and then it was over and done with.
I found that better than all the snide, nasty remarks that are posted on here by what appear to be mostly women, as in real life.
okay, so since it sounds like there are MANY people feeling like some of the harsh judgment is getting extreme, i have an idea...
why don't we all just make a committment to ourselves and one another to COMPLETELY ignore it. i mean, obviously, there will be times when we cannot actually emotionally ignore an especially rude post, but i'm really suggesting that we absolutely not respond. let's be honest- most of these super negative/nasty/unkind/judgmental posts (if i'm talking about the same ones as the op) are posted by TROLLS. they are LOOKING to stir up trouble, upset people, and elicit a response from people- a lot of times i'm pretty sure they KNOW they're coming across as ******** and they expect a big storm to ensue...so if we all ignore the jerky posts, maybe they'll decrease in number and intensity? i don't know, it might be overly optimistic to think so...but maybe it's worth a shot?
i love AN, and i hate when trolls get ahold of it. so chin up! ignore those turds and let the rest of us get on with our educational/informative/supportive/overall awesome conversations!
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Actually, I've found the opposite to be true when working very closely with all males.
I worked with plastic and burns & other surgeons for a long time, and when they were annoyed, they just told you straight, then the problem was solved. The guys didn't harp on about it, or bring it up in the next argument. It was a pretty volatile work place, but we all said what we wanted when we wanted and then it was over and done with.
I found that better than all the snide, nasty remarks that are posted on here by what appear to be mostly women, as in real life.
You know, as much as I hate to admit it, there is a very large grain of truth in that.
Of course, as I grow older, I seem to feel more like "Gads, there is WAY too much estrogen in this room!", and have come to prefer the direct route that drives straight through a problem. I hate the cattiness and the hormone-driven BS of a female-dominated workplace---I'd much rather work for a man, as I do now.
It helps that my boss and I are good friends, but we don't always see things the same way; the thing is, whenever we disagree, we just get down to it and fight it out until we fix it. There's no shilly-shallying, no going around the problem---we just confront it and move on. (We also will sit back and get a few chuckles watching all the 20- and 30-something girls go through their dramas......these are entertaining, if not always useful in getting the job done.)
And we NEVER hold grudges.....one day recently, we were talking about the myriad issues our "problem child" with the Munchausen's continues to create, and Mike thought for a minute that I was trying to throw that it in his face that he was the one who admitted the guy over my objections. Well, that was news to me, because it had never even occurred to me to hold that against him, even though it was a bad admission and we both know it---what's done is done, now we've just got to find some way to get this character OUT of our facility and into a proper care setting so life can go on. After we cleared that up, he said, "Oh yeah, I keep forgetting, you're one of those women who don't let their hormones run their lives. You know.......an ADULT."
Again, while I agree with you nurses are blunt and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it, that was not my point at all. And i don't think anyone has a problem handling disagreement either. None of that was my observation or original point.
Some of us could make the point that there's been a run on posts that complain about how "mean" AN is. If it is not to your liking, why post here? Not saying it to be mean, just wondering why you'd subject yourself to something you dislike?
Am I judgmental? Yep, if judgmental means opinionated. If someone posts asking for my opinion, you can bet they'll get an honest answer back.
Far too much PC stuff these days. People need to toughen up.
Opinions (IMHO) are based on personal beliefs, preferences, etc.....Judgmental goes after somebody else..... To me, they're worlds apart. :)
I'm sorry xtxrn, but I have to ask you this-weren't you going to give up this site for this very reason? Your recent thread regarding the rudeness of allnurses lead me to believe so.
I'm sorry xtxrn, but I have to ask you this-weren't you going to give up this site for this very reason? Your recent thread regarding the rudeness of allnurses lead me to believe so.
True. A few AN folks PM'd me, and kindly showed me how to look at things differently. Would you rather I was gone?
It just seemed like your comments in the other thread were so final. It was a surprise to me too to see you here.
Again, I am one of the people who get riled up when the continual repetitive posts are made and the really ridiculous topics are posted as well (like what is your IQ and can you do my homework) and I can be short and I am sure some would say ****** when I come across topics such as these. But when I see those topics that are truely either informative or a call for opinions or help--I try like crazy to offer whatever information I have or experiences I have been through, or condolences and encouragement if need be.
So certainly not all not all of he threads/posts on AN are judgemental....in fact, I'd say a very small number.
As far as your leaving, no I wouldn't want you to leave, I would like you to keep a more open mind though and see through our eyes when we answer the same question for the 100th time in 3 weeks by 100 different people.
Point taken- and the PMs I got were along those lines- yet away from the forums, so not as volatile :)
I'm not normally all that sensitive (and have much more of a backbone, that I was accused of not having)- being online again is new. I haven't had a computer that worked for about 2 years. I've been more frustrated, partly because this is my only contact with other people (which isn't anybody's problem here, but is a reason I was more uptight). And, I see so many changes in how people 'talk' to each other that I can't do anything about (but don't have to like or respect, either :)).
I asked that my thread be stopped- it was not what I had intended at all- and I do see the point of the OP here. There is a lot of nitpicking and refusal to understand the original message (per the OPs attempts to explain on a couple of threads I've seen- for their threads- not saying the same OP here :)). Had someone said something in a 'tone' that made the same points without the hostility, my thread would have been over and done with.
I miss nursing a lot- this is all I've got to connect with other nurses (except at my own MD appointments, which isn't as peers).
As anywhere, there will always be hostile, nasty, confrontational, and belittling people- I just have to remember that as I get used to contact with people again :) And remember that they have to live with themselves- I don't ! :lol2:
)
carolmaccas66, BSN, RN
2,212 Posts
Actually, I've found the opposite to be true when working very closely with all males.
I worked with plastic and burns & other surgeons for a long time, and when they were annoyed, they just told you straight, then the problem was solved. The guys didn't harp on about it, or bring it up in the next argument. It was a pretty volatile work place, but we all said what we wanted when we wanted and then it was over and done with.
I found that better than all the snide, nasty remarks that are posted on here by what appear to be mostly women, as in real life.