Funny things you have said but wish you didn't

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A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out.

That remark started the person on the other end's funnybone. In response to my question, he yelled to the help, "Do we have any toilet paper? The lady on the phone wants to know." Then he said, "Yes we do, but it's rather coorifice. What grade would you like?"

Specializes in Retired OR nurse/Tissue bank technician.
Ouch.

That's putting it mildly. I'm sure I blushed as brightly as they did.

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That's putting it mildly. I'm sure I blushed as brightly as they did.

I would have also. I worked retail and always got embarassed even if I just needed to ring them up, let alone making taht comment.

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Specializes in Retired OR nurse/Tissue bank technician.
I would have also. I worked retail and always got embarassed even if I just needed to ring them up, let alone making taht comment.

I used to get embarrassed, too. That comment just sealed it. Now? I'd probably not even notice what I was ringing up and just do it. Then? I was ready to sink into the floor.

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I once asked a blind patient if they wanted the light on or off. on that note can they tell if it is on or off. and she told me she wanted the lights off so I dont know

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Just last week I said something that made me cringe:

It was 0555 and was rushing trying to get I&O's in the computer because they print off for the docs at 0600 and if they're not in they the docs raise hell. I walk by and a pt yells at me. I go in and he asks me "where's my member?". I replied "the last time I saw it it was between your legs. Why don't you check there?" Not too funny, but take into account I was completely serious. The lab tech was in there drawing labs and gave me a funny look. I told the pt to call me if he couldn't find it, once again serious.

It was a stressful night and I had too much on my mind to joke around.

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Specializes in Retired OR nurse/Tissue bank technician.
I once asked a blind patient if they wanted the light on or off. on that note can they tell if it is on or off. and she told me she wanted the lights off so I dont know

People who are blind may still be able to see light and shadows. I know a woman who has a guide dog who has about 7% of her sight-enough that she would have a preference as to whether the lights were on or off.

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People who are blind may still be able to see light and shadows. I know a woman who has a guide dog who has about 7% of her sight-enough that she would have a preference as to whether the lights were on or off.

Up until they took it out I could tell that there was light through my right eye. I couldn't necesarilly tell you were it was coming from but I knew it was there.

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Specializes in Infusion Nursing, Home Health Infusion.

One of my co-workerslast name is hoar pronounced whore. I was working with her one pm shift and I needed her help and she was not answering her pager, Called the operator and asked her to page so and so whore...... long pause she said I will not and I said oh yes you will that is her name. well a few moments later they paged the wh...... to help me

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Just in case emotional scars are funny: When I was a 17, I worked as a cashier at Venture (like WalMart or Target, for you young 'uns). Wednesday was senior citizen discount day. All day the elderly had come through my line and rejoiced in their discount.

Late in the afternoon, an older lady came through, and as I rang her up, I asked "Will you be using your SC discount card today?". She said, "What?". I, all smiles, said,"Oh! Didn't you know? Since you are a senior citizen, you get a 10% discount today!". I began getting out the little form for her to fill out, to get her a SC discount card of her very own.

She had an absolute FIT. "Do I LOOK like a senior citizen? Do I? Do I?". It was patently obvious that I had thought so, but I denied it and apologized and apologized. I tried to say that I hadn't really looked at her before I had spoken, but she knew it was a lie because I had been looking her right in the eye with a big, Venture approved smile. She informed me that she was just 50, thank you very much, and I was disrespectful and so hateful, and she couldn't believe I had said that, etc.

She got loud (I was cowering and already in tears), and the manager came over and tried to smooth things out by telling the lady to meet her at customer service for a gift card. The lady eventually started crying, and walked out without her merchandise, or the gift card. :sad:

20 years later, I still think about her sometimes, and feel bad about it. Whenever I tell that story, men always laugh, and women feel horrible for the poor lady.

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Just in case emotional scars are funny: When I was a 17, I worked as a cashier at Venture (like WalMart or Target, for you young 'uns). Wednesday was senior citizen discount day. All day the elderly had come through my line and rejoiced in their discount.

Late in the afternoon, an older lady came through, and as I rang her up, I asked "Will you be using your SC discount card today?". She said, "What?". I, all smiles, said,"Oh! Didn't you know? Since you are a senior citizen, you get a 10% discount today!". I began getting out the little form for her to fill out, to get her a SC discount card of her very own.

She had an absolute FIT. "Do I LOOK like a senior citizen? Do I? Do I?". It was patently obvious that I had thought so, but I denied it and apologized and apologized. I tried to say that I hadn't really looked at her before I had spoken, but she knew it was a lie because I had been looking her right in the eye with a big, Venture approved smile. She informed me that she was just 50, thank you very much, and I was disrespectful and so hateful, and she couldn't believe I had said that, etc.

She got loud (I was cowering and already in tears), and the manager came over and tried to smooth things out by telling the lady to meet her at customer service for a gift card. The lady eventually started crying, and walked out without her merchandise, or the gift card. :sad:

20 years later, I still think about her sometimes, and feel bad about it. Whenever I tell that story, men always laugh, and women feel horrible for the poor lady.

I feel bad for YOU.

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Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.

after report, i went to assess my patients and administer 2000 meds. one of the patients had several mylar balloons tied to her bedrails. i examined them, then said to her, "i really like your umbrellas." she and i both had a good laugh, and, to this day, i have no clue where that came from!

i had just worked my first double (midnight to day...what was i thinking???) and in the same day surgery department, the externs and techs escorted the patients out to their cars upon discharge to ensure that someone else was driving home and the patient was safely in a vehicle. due to a communication issue, i ended up waiting for more than an hour with a patient for her taxi in the hot august afternoon. she was, for lack of a better word, annoying. i was sick of hearing her voice, and she asked me randomly, "do you have a family?" i responded with, "no, i was raised by wolves."

at the end of the my first week of straight midnights (i was an extern here as well), i was exhausted, especially since i would stay at least an hour late every day to help out. i called the department when i got home after that week was over, and janice the rn answered. i said, "hi, jess, this is janice...i'm home safe."

jess

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Specializes in aged, palliative care, cardiac, agency,.

I have a habit of saying to patients "time to hop up for a shower" or "Hop up on the bed and I'll look at your wound" etc. Yes, you guessed. Not so appropriate when I worked in a surgical ward where, on one occasion there were 3 legs between 4 patients.

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