Funny OB things people say

[at your cervix]

I'm sure we all have stories about patients requesting their "epidermal" and the likes of that, let's share some here. Now, while I never encourage laughing at or making fun of patients, this is a safe place among other nurses where we can find the comic value in some of these comments. I'll actually start us off by sharing a funny story about one of our OB doctors.

I had a patient with intact membranes that was having some very deep variables, she came in and saw the strip and said "Let's go break her water so we can put in an IUPC and amnioinfuse." I think as soon as she said it she wanted to take it back because she realized how stupid it sounded but it sure gave us all a laugh for the day.

[33-weeker]

I brought a new dad carrying his newborn son to transition the other day. Dad spoke some English. I was explaining in my 'Spanglish' about the plan of care & unwrapping the baby under the warmer when I noticed a birth mark on the baby's side.

When I commented about it, the Dad's eyes lit up. "Just like mine!" He exclaimed as he promptly lifted his shirt to reveal an identical mark. Then he covered himself back up and blushed a little when he realized what he'd done. You gotta love new parents.

[DoulaKelly]

I've got a few...

A patient told me that she came to the hospital for her "Seduction of labor." At first I was confused and then I realized she meant induction of labor, LOL!

I was completing an OB history on another patient and I asked her if she ever had any surgery and she repied, "I had surgery to remove a couple of furballs" I looked at her and said, "furballs? You mean fibroids?" And she proceed to say, "yes those!"

I was starting a pre-ecclamptic patient on Mag. and Pit (I said oxytocin) and I explained both of the medications to her. I left the room to go get the medications and when I returned she asked me, "Is that the oxy-toxic stuff for my contractions and the amnesia sulfur for my blood pressure?"

[edprincess]

I don't work in OB but I used to be a dispatcher for an ambulance company. One of the girls was pregnant (about 3 mos) and called out stating she felt her uterus stretching.

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

These funny memories are what keep nurses going.

[FroggieLiz]

We recently had a patient's husband call and say that his wife had "dropped" her mucus plug...I asked him, "was she holding it?" (What makes it funnier is that he is a CRNA who does quite a few epidurals in our unit).

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

We recently had a patient's husband call and say that his wife had "dropped" her mucus plug...I asked him, "was she holding it?" (What makes it funnier is that he is a CRNA who does quite a few epidurals in our unit).

:uhoh3:Heh, you'd have thought she would have educated him about it.

[RNmama05]

Our patients can't wait to "get my epidoodle cause it gonna hurt when that baby come out my dookie shoot".

[PRESLA]

]:trout: One of my all time favorites is since my water broke I will have a difficult delivery because it will be a dry birth, or I'm really bleeding I have a big clod on my pad. Nothing to do c OB I had an instructor who had a pt and his wife said her husband had a mighty big fart meaning he had a mighty big myocardial infarct.

Great topic

:roll

[JenTheRN]

Our patients can't wait to "get my epidoodle cause it gonna hurt when that baby come out my dookie shoot".

LOL! Oh lord, I needed that laugh this morning!!!!

Epidoodle...I might have to steal that one.

[Diary/Dairy, RN]

The term dookie shoot is way more interesting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL -

[crissrn27, RN]

I have had several pts lately that have "busted" their mucous plug. Also had a couple bring it in to show us, uggggggg! Why don't the docs educate about this???

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

I have had several pts lately that have "busted" their mucous plug. Also had a couple bring it in to show us, uggggggg! Why don't the docs educate about this???

What does it look like?