Funny OB things people say

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

I'm sure we all have stories about patients requesting their "epidermal" and the likes of that, let's share some here. Now, while I never encourage laughing at or making fun of patients, this is a safe place among other nurses where we can find the comic value in some of these comments. I'll actually start us off by sharing a funny story about one of our OB doctors.

I had a patient with intact membranes that was having some very deep variables, she came in and saw the strip and said "Let's go break her water so we can put in an IUPC and amnioinfuse." I think as soon as she said it she wanted to take it back because she realized how stupid it sounded but it sure gave us all a laugh for the day.

Specializes in perinatal.

We had a dad come up to the nurses station yesterday demanding to know who checked off caucasian on the birth certificate because he and his wife are both AMERICAN !!!! We all had a good chuckle

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.
The baby was now on the warmer and being attended to and the Dad was standing near the doctor who was repairing the epis. The Dad says in a hush tone, "Put in a couple of extra stitches for me Doc." With no hesitation the female middle aged OB looks up from her stool and says, "Sure thing pencil dick" and continues her suturing. I swear I nearly made a puddle in the OR floor. Needless to say the Dad did not feel the need to make any other comments.:chuckle

What a jerk! Sounds like he deserved that. :yeah::D

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Specializes in Biomedical, Hospice, LTC, Office.

When I had my now 15 year old daughter my now ex-husband asked the doctor to put an extra couple stitches in for him. The crusty old ex-army physician barked at him "Get an implant!"

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Specializes in Antepartum, L&D, Postpartum.

Funny one from a few weeks ago that just popped into my mind and made me laugh again:

A very nice woman who had been on bed and pelvic rest for the last few weeks came in to r/o pre-term labor again. I remembered her right away from the last time she was my patient because she was one of those special people who just said whatever they were thinking (no filter whatsoever). So the MD ordered a translady partsl ultrasound to check for funneling. So the US tech is now in the room (along with her boyfriend, the MD, and the patient's mother) and I apologize to the patient in advance for any discomfort that she might have from the procedure. The patient then said, "Oh don't worry! Seriously, bring it ON! This will be the most action I've seen in weeks! This no sex thing is killing me!"

Somehow we all managed to keep our composure until after we had left the room. I felt kinda sorry for the US tech- how awkward is that! :imbar

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Specializes in OB.
you know, i was actually watching one of those "baby" shows on discovery health and the narrator referred to an induction as an "inducement!:confused:"

They were talking about "mer-conium" on D-HC the other day I was totally yelling at the TV! LMAO

Oh yea and that every baby "could die" allll the dad gum time! Whew I was mad....and laughing...

Jen

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Specializes in L&D/Postpartum/Newborn, Home Health.

I recently had a patient whose mother for some reason, assumed that the patient's right breast would not produce milk so she asked me the following question.....

"Her right titty ain't makin' no milk, can she just feed from the left titty?"

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Specializes in L&D/Postpartum/Newborn, Home Health.

Phone call rec'd at 1:00 am.....

"Hi, this is Jennifer, I had a baby there a year and a half ago, did I have any complications?"

She became a bit upset when I recommended she discuss this with her physician as he or she would have access to her medical record. She also could not understand why I could not answer the question when I didn't have her record in front of me.

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