Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Nurses Humor

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

My Mom found another good one the other night on the ER report sheet.....

"Fractured member"

OOOOOUUUUCCHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It makes me hurt and I am a girl!!!!

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Specializes in Cardiac Care, ICU.

I had a doc write for me to "obtain picture of pts wife and place at bedside." Unfortunately he forgot to leave me a key to the guys house so I couldn't comply.

Same doc wrote an order for pt to rreceive a b'day cake and for "nurses to sing Happy Birthday". Which I did in all my off key glory!:lol2:

Not an order, but a funny story from the floor. A coworker had an 83 year old pt. who was a little confused at times. The guy called him down to the room one day and asked him "where's my daddy". My CW tried to reorient him to reality and told him that his dad was dead. The poor guy got so upset that his 'daddy" had died he almost cried. He finally calmed down and went to sleep. Imagine how bad my CW felt when the next day the guy's dad came in to visit!:lol2:

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Specializes in Corrections, neurology, dialysis.
I had a doc write for me to "obtain picture of pts wife and place at bedside." Unfortunately he forgot to leave me a key to the guys house so I couldn't comply.

Same doc wrote an order for pt to rreceive a b'day cake and for "nurses to sing Happy Birthday". Which I did in all my off key glory!:lol2:

Not an order, but a funny story from the floor. A coworker had an 83 year old pt. who was a little confused at times. The guy called him down to the room one day and asked him "where's my daddy". My CW tried to reorient him to reality and told him that his dad was dead. The poor guy got so upset that his 'daddy" had died he almost cried. He finally calmed down and went to sleep. Imagine how bad my CW felt when the next day the guy's dad came in to visit!:lol2:

Oh my God! That is too funny.

It is a cautionary tale to be sure.......never assume!

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Specializes in NICU.

Lovenox 750mg IV daily

Levaquin 40mg SQ daily

I knew what he meant... but I made him clarify it anyways.. haha... he was embarrassed.. esp since I had already shown everybody in the station

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Hey, better a "shot"q6hr than withdrawl. Withdrawl can get really ugly and Depending on the patients age and severity of his medical problems it could be fatal.

We have several frequent flyer alcoholics that come into the ED for various reasons. Well our standard of care states that no one can leave the ER with a Blood Etoh of >100 unless a "responsible"adult comes to sign the patient out. On several of our "older"alcoholics who routinely show up with Blood Etoh's of 100, they'd start seeing pink elephants, and then we'd all be in trouble.:eek:

I think you mean that the desired level was

And > 500 would mean greater than 500. So I think you mean less than 500 (

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not on a chart but an order given to me by an orthapedic resident when i injured my tailbone..."Patient has been advised to refrain from activities while laying on the floor" I got this order because in my choir at school we lie on the floor to do breathing excercises. I showed that to my professor before I realized what else it could imply.

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Specializes in Mental Health.

From a consultant psychiatrist on Friday, "ah yes, give this chap a stat dose of 300mg librium and 10 demazepam for sleep"

I pointed out that he probably meant 30mg librium and got the SHO to prescribe 10 diazepam rather than temazepam (if figured he meant one or the other).

Also worked with an anaethstatist who'd prescribe O2 til perky.

Had to stop a student looking for 50mg levothyroxine too, it had been on the chart for a week!

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Specializes in OR, Robotics, Telemetry.
How about a double amputee:

"ambulate qid 150 feet"

:lol2: We recently had a similar order when I was in clinical.

Patient: 1 day post op double BKA

Order: Ambulate in hallway bid

Another time, order stated: "Do not disturb patient between 9pm and 7am -- only enter room if called!" This is a critical care floor - So if he codes, does the night shift just wait 'til morning?

:uhoh3: As a student, I only had to avoid room for one hour after clinical began, but RN's on floor despised the order stating they were "NOT a maid or room service!" I Agree!

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Specializes in peds, ortho,neuro, oncology.

A new Grad took a phone order for Gaviscon. Obviously she did not clarify and repeat with the physician because in the orders were written, "Gas is gone, 15ml prn" We all got a good laugh, including the new grad.

:lol2:

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

On rehab floor this morning I had a diabetic pt who was NPO for a cardiac stress test and her blood sugar was 70. She was asymptomatic at the present time.

We have standing orders for giving an amp of D50 if the blood sugar is below 40 or they are really symptomatic (followed by a phone call to a doc) but since she wasn't I called the internal med doc on call and got an order for "a small cup of orange juice x1". And I did write it as an order to cover myself so no one could come back at me and say "why did you give her orange juice, she was NPO?".

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

Saw this today-

Vick's Vapo Rub to R foot BID x 90 days

Supposed to work for Athelete's Foot.

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I had a 69 yr old male pt with CHF and a 2nd year resident mistakenly put in an order for Oxycotin Iv drip .:smackingf Heres a guy trying to be treated for CHF distress and now has to wonder about his possible uterine contraction problems. uh oh

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