Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Specializes in OB, critical care, hospice, farm/industr.
I always liked the ones admitted with 'Eurosepsis'...

One of our lymphoma patients was in for a long admission, and one night while watching football he commented he sure wished he had a beer. He wasn't an alcoholic, he was just a regular guy...

I called our doc, and asked him for the order. Dr M was one of the kindest, most compassionate docs I've ever had the pleasure to work with, and he said 'of course'. "One beer, po, q hs prn, may repeat x 1"

I went across the street and bought a six pack of ponies (so he could drink more than one lol), arranged them all nicely in an ice bucket and took them in to this guy.

He just flipped out. Crying and laughing and said it was the greatest thing ever. Got on the phone and started calling all his family and friends, telling them what had happened. It truly made his day (and ours too). He died not long after that, but every time I saw him he talked about the night he got his wish.

You are a sweetheart!

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You are a sweetheart!
Thanks, but one of the day nurses didn't see it that way. She wanted to report me to administration over that...

Also reported to the doc when one of my co-workers bought some chewing tobacco for an old man who was dying of advanced metastatic CA. That's all the old guy wanted... so we got it for him.

She went running up to his doc the next morning "You wouldn't BELIEVE what they did last night!!!!"

Doc just laughed at her, "What's the problem? Are you afraid it will give him cancer??"

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Specializes in OB, critical care, hospice, farm/industr.

Yeah, I know... When my hospice patient are furtive about smoking, I don't feel like I can deny them one of the only self-soothing things they have left. What's it going to matter now?

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.
One of our lymphoma patients was in for a long admission, and one night while watching football he commented he sure wished he had a beer. He wasn't an alcoholic, he was just a regular guy...

I called our doc, and asked him for the order. Dr M was one of the kindest, most compassionate docs I've ever had the pleasure to work with, and he said 'of course'. "One beer, po, q hs prn, may repeat x 1"

I went across the street and bought a six pack of ponies (so he could drink more than one lol), arranged them all nicely in an ice bucket and took them in to this guy.

He just flipped out. Crying and laughing and said it was the greatest thing ever. Got on the phone and started calling all his family and friends, telling them what had happened. It truly made his day (and ours too). He died not long after that, but every time I saw him he talked about the night he got his wish.

That is SO sweet!

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Yep, I saw it a few months ago. The sweet little old lady pt asked if she could stay another day, because it was lonely at home. The nurse practitioner told her "Sure, you can stay as long as you like dear. But we need an excuse why we're keeping you here another day, so if anyone asks, you're nauseous, okay?" The NP then told the pt's nurse (not me, fortunately) to give the pt Zofran. (pt had denied any pain or nausea that day).

Yes, I see this happen a lot. Mostly with pts wanting to stay another day or more because they are lonely or acutually like being away from their family, or feel safer in the hospital but have no medical need to be here. I think it is such bunk, insurance fraud. Some of the residents get mad that their attending allows this and feel the same way as we do but, what can the resident/intern do? Attending Md is the boss.

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Specializes in RN CRRN.

How bout newly admitted pt that had med Dr order all his meds and daily INRs and is handling his coumadin.etc.? Very immobile pt, obese etc. High risk for those DVDs (DVTs). Anyway our rehab doc comes along and writes right below his orders. DC coumadin, and many of his other meds. Doesn't DC INRs tho. Man continues to think of cost-what is it costing him? Except maybe his pts life. Next day. Med Dr back. Coumadin restarted.

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Specializes in RN CRRN.

Not really funny but Surgeon wrote, "contact me for any issues related to surgery." -We have inhouse hospitalists who ATC are available for medical care and orders. Pt was having nausea called the hospitalists at 2330 for reglan. Came in to work next day. Turns out night nurse called the hospitalists at 0300 for maalox. Surgeon in next day writes, "As ordered yesterday, will follow pt medically. DC hospitalist care." Yes of course that is exactly what you wrote yesterday, and I personally would LOVE to have woke you up at 2330 and 0300 for reglan and maalox orders> You guys tell me, how do you think he would have answered the phone at 3am for maalox oredrs?

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Specializes in ER OB NICU.

We had a patient admitted to tele because he needed to meet his spenddown for MEdicaid,and if he met it all at once,like a hospital stay, he did not have TO PAY it himself. He was on the light all night long, requesting food, drink, etc. WAS NOT ILL.

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Specializes in med-surg,ortho-neuro,pain management.
We had a patient once who was an alcoholic and a COPDer. The doc, a pulmonologist, would write..Black Velvet, 30cc Q6hrs,prn..I am NOT kidding either. The pharmacy had to go to the liquor store and buy a bottle of BV and then we had to keep it locked in the narc cupboard and sign out each shot of BV!!!!

Kelly:)

Very similar to your BV order.

The M.D. wrote:

I can beer q meal and HS.

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Specializes in med-surg,ortho-neuro,pain management.

An eldery patient was admitted for etoh withdraw, the MD order was:

1 can beer q meal and HS.

The patient's family thought the doc had lost his marbles.

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Specializes in med-surg,ortho-neuro,pain management.

Oh it happens more than I think we realize. I had a patient who was conveniently admitted every Thanksgiving and Christmas with constipation for more than 3 years. She has since passed. God rest her soul.

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Specializes in med-surg,ortho-neuro,pain management.
One of my favorites...... 3H enema.... High, hot, and hell of alot.

For the chronically constipated pt, I guess.

Sounds like the first time I came across an order for:

Milk and molasses enema PR.

When I questioned the doc, he replied, "Just don't make cookies".

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