Let me start out by saying, this is my first official job as an RN, and four years of nursing school could have never lead to me to the correct answer. I have talked to two different people about this situation and both have different opinions. I am a school nurse and I feel that it is my job to care for the student, the student is my number one priority! However, this day was difficult. The student has some severe mental imparements, leading to some anger issues, and severe ADHD. On this day, he patiently waited in line to be next to make his lunch, however when people passed him in line, he became very angry, and threw out his food. I try to have a good relationship with alll the children, be that person that they are able to confide in, with non-biased opinions. It is important in my school to have a good rapport with the students. Anyways, the teachers got mad, and instead of ignoring the issue, they blew up, yelling and screaming, only making the situations worse. I went and talked with the student, who insisted that he would not eat, but I knew was starving. The teachers decided that because he had acted this way he would not be eating lunch today. They insisted that nothing will be served to him, and they will not give into his bad behavior. Ok, so I know you do not want to reward bad behavior, but I ALSO know that you can not use and should not use food as a reward or punishment. So even though the teachers said NO HE WILL NOT EAT, I made him a sandwich just incase he decided to eat. Needless-to-say, the teachers were very upset with me. HOWEVER, my opinion is, I am there for the student, NOT the teacher! The student and I discussed his behavior when he came asking me if he could eat and I gave him his lunch, I also told him to appologize to the teacher, and thank her for being so kind as to still make him something to eat (even though she did not!) When asking a Psychiatrist about this situation I was repromanded for "Splitting" making the teacher look bad...but that was not my intention. My intention was to obide by the law. He is not fed at home, and is mother has already had problems with the state because of her treatment to her children...but as a school it is our job to feed the children, and using food as a punishment is not right....BUT WHAT IS?! Should I have let him go without food or unintentionally split the student and teacher?? I am so confused...its a nurses job, but we are always walking a fine line...and after being told to do my job and only my job...it makes me wonder...PLEASE HELP!!
Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
Check with child protective services in your state regarding withholding food as punishment for a minor child, I suspect it is illegal in your state as well as many others--at minimum child neglect if not abuse.
Quite simply, you were absolutely correct in offering this child food when he was willing to eat especially since you already have it on record that the child is not fed at home. Hunger would likely only have escalated his behavior later in the day (hungry kids can't think right).
If the teacher's won't stand up for the child, you at least were able to be his advocate. I am sure this is a very positive thing for the child, I doubt he saw it as teacher vs. nurse but a nurse who was able to listen and provide him with a basic need to sustain life.
YOU are in the right! Food should never indeed be used as punishment or as a reward. It's not healthy. It's also not healthy for that child to go starving, especially since he is not getting enough nutrition at home. Shame on those teachers. They should have sat down and talked to him about it after he had calmed down, not gotten angry and withheld food. That is definitely not right. I am wholeheartedly with you on this one. I am not a psychiatrist, but as a mom myself, I know that's not right to do to a child.
As the mother of a special needs child who went through a similar situation in middle school, I can tell you that if he didn't have that one person (his homeroom teacher) to be on his side, I think he would have lost his mind as well as mine. She stood up for him while her co-workers were calling her a "tree-hugger" for caring for my child. She and I talked daily and she begged the school to send her for training in these types of situations, which they refused. It is so sad when a child is screaming for help and teachers who are with the child often more than the parent is, don't want to deal with it. I know it is hard to do but your act of kindness with this child will not be forgotten. My son who is now nearly 18, still has a rapport with her. You may be the only kindness this child sees. Kudos to you!
You are correct, your job is to serve the students. Not all staff have the same priority. You should talk with the principal and perhaps have a meeting with the other teachers so they can understand your priotities. Withholding food is not appropriate punishment. A student must feel safe at school. That means that even though there is conflict, their basic human needs must be met. As a parent I would seriously lose my s*** if my child was treated that way. You are an advocate for the children, you need to continue to be so. Hang in there...
This child is being neglected at school on a regular basis according to the other school nurse. Does the prinicple for the school know what has been happening in his/her school? Does the principle understand that under the law you have an obligtion to call the State (Child Protective Services) anytime you suspect child neglect? Have a talk with the principle and see if things improve.
If things don't improve, the school continues to deny this or any other child food then you need to call CPS.
There is so much I would love to say, but reading through the responses it has already been said.
Good for you for being there for the child.
As a mother with a special needs son, who is quick to meltdowns, I can totally understand where the child was coming from.
In his eyes he was wronged, by the kids cutting in front of him (was anything done to those children?)
It could be the culture of the school and you can be the change agent.
Food should never be used as a reward or punishment!
My son was in one school where he was always blamed for everything, several trips to the prinicipals office, because he would react when children would tease him, at one time he ended up with bruises due to kids hitting him, but according to the teachers he was the problem.
He have senice changed schools, and he is happy making friends, has gotten "most improved" awards and has never been sent to the principals office for bad behavior, and the teachers actually follow his IEP.
Holy cow! Withholding food from a kid to improve behavior???? The SCHOOL could be reported to CPS for that one. Totally unacceptable way to handle the situation, and abusive in its own right. You did do the right thing. That psychologist/psychiatrist needs to be slapped upside the head. The kid needs to learn to control himself, but abusing him isn't going to help him achieve that. Sheesh. As a former public school teacher I'm totally sickened by this scenario. I'd be raising holy heck with the psychologist/psychiatrist and Special-Ed division over this one.
In many states, it is a requirement by law that a child in school be served a meal tray with XYZ items on it. Whether the child eats it or not is their choice. I am in Texas, and I have had to go get a tray for an ill student who did not want to eat and was waiting to be picked up, but I had to get the tray to be in compliance with the law (waste of food IMO, but irrelevant). If this is the case in your state, some major whistleblowing needs to go on.
Do these teachers really think withholding food is going to IMPROVE the situation? As if a child who is hungry can pay attention and be ready to learn, much less behave in class. Heck, I even get cranky when lunch is a couple hours late...you deny me at least a couple bites of food and I am a witch!
This practice is despicable and needs to stop NOW. OP, you may need to be the advocate for this child to see that an end comes to this. Get the nutrition department, principal, special ed dept, parent, CPS, etc involved...whoever you need to to make sure then ENDS.
You may also talk to the parent about having an ARD meeting and having his IEP plan changed. It may need to be specified that he is to be allowed to take his meals regardless of behavioral issues (unless this is law in your state, then it should not be necessary, but maybe still not a bad idea).
Everybody keeps saying that the teachers were wrong to withhold food, but I just re-read the original post & that is NOT what happened. The student was given food, became angry, and threw it out. He CHOSE to refuse the food. It seems to me that all the teacher did was say "OK, you threw away your food, now you have nothing left to eat." Don't we all have to learn to make good choices? Didn't the OP just reinforce that no matter how bad your choice is, we will always make it better for you? Unfortunately, that is not how life works. More often than not, good choices have good results for us and bad choices have bad results for us. A VERY valuable lesson, indeed. No food was ever taken away from him, and 1 skipped meal will not affect growth & development. I think he was deprived of one of life's lessons.
JustBeachyNurse, LPN
13,957 Posts
Check with child protective services in your state regarding withholding food as punishment for a minor child, I suspect it is illegal in your state as well as many others--at minimum child neglect if not abuse.
Quite simply, you were absolutely correct in offering this child food when he was willing to eat especially since you already have it on record that the child is not fed at home. Hunger would likely only have escalated his behavior later in the day (hungry kids can't think right).
If the teacher's won't stand up for the child, you at least were able to be his advocate. I am sure this is a very positive thing for the child, I doubt he saw it as teacher vs. nurse but a nurse who was able to listen and provide him with a basic need to sustain life.