Well---as you can tell from the title, I lost my job. Today was suppose to be my last day of my ext. orientation. It was busy busy busy. A lot of things going on, but i got pulled away from the mother plug because I did not keep up my bargain of charting in a timely manner. Throughout the orientation, I felt I did not keep up my part of the bargain. Why? Even I do not know it. honest....I do my best each shift, get meds on time, keep patient safe, etc. I was on the verge of handing in my badge when I almost gave the wrong med. To me, on the last day of orientation, is unacceptable. *sigh* I don't have a job, but I still have an active license. It could be worse, say, my license got revoked. *knock on wood*. well...yesterday when I was trying to overcome my typical headache that occurs prior to each shift, I just felt so worn down....defeated. with that feeling, I just told myself, the unit has been very graceful to me in giving me additional weeks of orientation. they've done there part, and unfortunately i could not do my part. Whatever the outcome of today was, it was meant to be and I have to accept it. I could use some advice and some comfort. I started my shift with the feeling that it was not meant to last, but despite that gut feeling, I wanted to do my best for me and for my patients. It could have been my lack of confidence, but that lack of confidence just keeps crawling back. but strangely enough, i feel somewhat at peace. i felt like i was fighting a losing battle but i didnt want to give up, because no matter what, I know somehow, someway, I would not fail. i know it sounds small, but things could have been a lot worse. if i didnt catch the antibx bag prior to starting the pump, i would not have forgivin myself b/c if something could have happened to that patient...
Well---as you can tell from the title, I lost my job. Today was suppose to be my last day of my ext. orientation. It was busy busy busy. A lot of things going on, but i got pulled away from the mother plug because I did not keep up my bargain of charting in a timely manner. Throughout the orientation, I felt I did not keep up my part of the bargain. Why? Even I do not know it. honest....I do my best each shift, get meds on time, keep patient safe, etc. I was on the verge of handing in my badge when I almost gave the wrong med. To me, on the last day of orientation, is unacceptable. *sigh* I don't have a job, but I still have an active license. It could be worse, say, my license got revoked. *knock on wood*. well...yesterday when I was trying to overcome my typical headache that occurs prior to each shift, I just felt so worn down....defeated. with that feeling, I just told myself, the unit has been very graceful to me in giving me additional weeks of orientation. they've done there part, and unfortunately i could not do my part. Whatever the outcome of today was, it was meant to be and I have to accept it. I could use some advice and some comfort. I started my shift with the feeling that it was not meant to last, but despite that gut feeling, I wanted to do my best for me and for my patients. It could have been my lack of confidence, but that lack of confidence just keeps crawling back. but strangely enough, i feel somewhat at peace. i felt like i was fighting a losing battle but i didnt want to give up, because no matter what, I know somehow, someway, I would not fail. i know it sounds small, but things could have been a lot worse. if i didnt catch the antibx bag prior to starting the pump, i would not have forgivin myself b/c if something could have happened to that patient...