Does anyone else 'prefer' male patients to female patients?
When I get assigned a room of elderly female patients, I know I'm in for a heavy shift. Compared to the males, they moan/are pedantic over little things, take twice as long to do everything, seem to be more susceptible to delirium/suffer the symptoms of dementia more than males (obviously not their fault). But can also be cranky and refuse care.
Whereas with elderly males, in my experience, they're easy going, allow you to do observations without a fuss etc, still have some sense of humour despite their alzheimers/dementia diagnosis, talk to me in a respectful way. And I can relate to them easier as at 90yrs old, they can still hold an interesting conversation, and even throw in funny one liners. But the 65yr old female will either be extremely difficult to interact with or nitpick.
Hope I don't sound bitter or anything. I'm not saying I dislike or hate caring for these patients, obviously they're in pain or really ill which affects how they interact. Just find it interesting how easy going elderly male patients can be compared to the females.
I am a male nurse and it lends well to caring for female patients to be honest. I feel like I connect with them and they tend to be easy going. Some of the males I take care of can be guarded. I live in a very, very rural area so there is still some stigma about how nurses should be female; however, the females I take care of are generally more vocal about being thankful for my care.
gaz99 Watch what you say about 65 yo female patients ! I have been a model patient twice having 2 herniated disc fused C4-6 and C 6-7. The nurses kept asking me if I wanted pain medication ! Although I am a young 65 year old until 3 years ago, I could keep up the pace as a nurse working in LTC. Now you're talking about difficult patients ! I do agree with you that the male elderly patient is usually easier to take care of. I always hated taking care of male teenagers because they were demanding and didn't want to follow the program. But that's just me !
Honestly I never really noticed a difference. A patient is a patient, regardless of their gender. Some will be a pleasure to care for and others will offer the assignment from hell. Either way, it's my job to make the best of it because I don't get to pick and chose my assignment for the day.
Specializes in med-surg, IMC, school nursing, NICU.
"You better get someone to walk your *** to your car tonight." --- 30 y/o male patient, mad that I didn't get MD to write for oxy on discharge
"You should be working at a prison the way you treat people!" 70 y/o male when I told him he had to be NPO for a bowel obstruction and OR in the morning
"No wonder you aren't married." 53 y/o male patient, over 500 pounds, after I spent an hour bathing and doing skin care, because I didn't bring him grape juice when entering his isolation room.
To answer your question, no. I don't prefer male patients. I don't prefer female patients. I like patients who treat their nurses with respect! Doesn't matter what you've got down below, if you treat me with decency, I'll be your pal.
"You better get someone to walk your *** to your car tonight." --- 30 y/o male patient, mad that I didn't get MD to write for oxy on discharge
"You should be working at a prison the way you treat people!" 70 y/o male when I told him he had to be NPO for a bowel obstruction and OR in the morning
"No wonder you aren't married." 53 y/o male patient, over 500 pounds, after I spent an hour bathing and doing skin care, because I didn't bring him grape juice when entering his isolation room.
To answer your question, no. I don't prefer male patients. I don't prefer female patients. I like patients who treat their nurses with respect! Doesn't matter what you've got down below, if you treat me with decency, I'll be your pal.
And bonus points if your visitors are respectful too!
I'm sure we've all had those rooms where both the patient and their visitors are appropriate, respectful, and even have a great collective sense of humor - we may find ourselves trying to find excuses to hang out there for a break from the rude people we encounter elsewhere. We *like* to "spoil" the enjoyable patients occasionally, as we are too often forced to bend over backwards to make the ungrateful patients happy.
Depends on the patient. I have had the most awesome, resilient, 100 year old women, and the whiniest, neediest of elderly males, and vice versa. I will not hold someone against a weak bladder, lest I be held accountable for mine in old age. I agree with PP that some attitudes displayed here may interfere with looking at this issue with a balanced eye... if you think old women are needy and worse than their male counterparts when delirious, guess which of your experiences with them is likely stick to your memory?
Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.
I love me some mildly confused older patients, and I also love getting the wives of the men onboard for care during the shift. Bonus on those family members that help with cleaning, keeping the patients entertained, and backing up my explanations.
For Horseshoe: (I hit reply instead of quote - oops!)
I get multiple people asking me for things at the same time. While I'm trying to handle some of those requests, other people have new requests. That only happens to me? I don't get why you're confused.
I agree with other posters who stated that I don't care about the gender of my patients, I like patients who are respectful and willing to work with me to help them. That being said I don't mind a challenging patient as long as they don't become physically aggressive (I work in psych/mental health so my threshold is probably higher than most).
I will note that I have experienced some of the same occurrences as the other younger, guy nurses on this forum who may find it easier to work with older, female patients because of some bias/stigma that some older men have against men in nursing. This is not always the case, and I have no assumptions going in to caring for a patient, each person is an individual who deserves my very best care.
No, I don't. No, men are not better than women in any way, patient or not. A patient being a "good" patient or not has to do with their personality. I've had good and bad on both sides.
I hope you're not a woman. This post is sad either way. Internalized misogyny is not a good look. In fact I hope you get dragged all over the internet for this, and any self-hating woman that agrees with you.
Nah ... I've never kept track or anything, but I'd say I've had plenty of men and women who were pleasant to deal with, and a smaller number - but plenty of both sexes - who could be a pain, or more of a problem, etc., as you're describing. I've never thought of either sex being better/worse or easier/harder to deal with. Every patient is their own little universe...
NotAllWhoWandeRN, ASN, RN
791 Posts
That does kind of describe nursing, though.