Fellow student threatened my life today..! LONG

[FutureArmyNurse]

What a day I'm having! I have to vent about this crazy situation or I'm absolutely going to lose my mind.

I am entering the last week of my winter microbio class. A ten page group research paper worth 15% of our grade was due today (Friday). Everyone was supposed to contribute two pages, and give them to me so I could put it together along with all the auxiliary material. It was going to be a lot of work and had to be perfect and up to extremely high standards.

Anyway...because we had such a short time, I told my group they HAD to send me something by the Friday before today so I could put it together over the weekend. This gave them a month to do their part. Well, they all sent me their papers except for one guy who I thought was going to be our strongest asset in the group. But I put together what I could that weekend...and he didn't answer his phone or my emails.

To make a long story short, drama + begging = I finally got something from him Tuesday...and the paper was due Friday morning at 8..and what he sent me was TOTAL CRAP. We were required to use only professional resources like JAMA, Lancet, etc. He sent me barely one page directly cut and pasted from http://www.howstuffworks.com. On top of that, he didn't do his part of the paper (history of BSE) he did another girl's assignment, and hers was excellent and properly referenced!

Needless to say, I couldn't use any of his paper. I don't know why, but I gave him another day to pull his sh-- together. I told him if he doesn't send me something, as group leader I am removing his name from the paper.

Come Wednesday night, I still received NOTHING.

Drama ensues.

Although I work full time as well as taking this class in six weeks (totally crazy I know) there was nothing I could do but research and type for two days straight until the crack of dawn to make up for the missing portion. My job suffered (I got in trouble for working on it there), my sleep was non-existent, and I was grouchy as hell and called my poor hubby a jerk for no reason. I couldn't do my lab manual or study for the lab practicum during this time. It was so stressful I got a killer headache which I still have.

Wednesday night I emailed and told this particular group member his name was now off the paper, and I informed my instructor as well. This is where all hell broke loose. As soon as I got to school he followed me everywhere to beg and plead, he offered to get a copy of the final from his friend who could get it, he tried to give me a free cell phone, offered to do my lab manual, etc...well mighty tempting it wasn't and I totally refused to even consider it. I told him again and again that his excuses were ridiculous - he was saying he didn't know how to do it because I never told him how. I thought, do you want me to wipe your butt for you too?? He said he did his best, honest. I though, if that's your best god forbid you do your worst. It was a farce. We spent a whole hour in class the second day of the term discussing how the group project worked, and he was there! Not to mention he was also there for numerous group discussions and indicated he was perfectly fine and understood the project.

I told my group about my decision and they were fine with it. They backed me up when he began begging them to reconsider too. This guy then, on one of our class breaks, got angrier and angrier and actually FOLLOWED ME INTO THE LADIES RESTROOM to harass me! I couldn't get away but I stood up to him and said he could not scare me into it, it was over, end of story, buh-bye, and he left.

After class he accosted my professor in his office and threw a crying fit and told all kinds of lies and gave all kinds of excuses. He was upset because he is a straight A student and it was going to ruin his average. But my instructor was already well aware of the situation and had absolutely not one single iota of sympathy for him because he admitted outright he didn't do anything for the paper because he "didn't have time and didn't know how"...so that killed it right there and he was thrown of the office after an hour of carrying on and blubbering and getting nowhere.

This person then stupidly proceeded to tell another group member this morning that I better be careful, what comes around goes around, I better watch my every step. He said he wasn't going to let me get away with it and basically inferred that one way or another his name would be on the paper.

Today this group member who he was talking to told me he was extremely worried for my safety because this guy was so extraordinarily angry, and told me to please please call my husband to come sit in class with me and walk me to the car when it was over. So I did, while my hubby was on his way we did the presentation and it was done with and no turning back now.

After the presentation in which the guy was not allowed to take part, my instructor saw I had moved my seat to a far corner next to an exit to the lab supply room, and he quickly figured out I was afraid and that I was sitting there for my safety. He came over while the next group was setting up their presentation and whispered to me to tell him what happened. I quickly told him about the threats, and that I had called my husband and could he sit in class with me? Well to my total surprise he up and exploded in anger and promptly, in front of everyone, announced he would not tolerate the behavior, called it "crap" and yelled at and kicked the guy out of class and threatened to call the campus police to escort him off campus. He first wouldn't leave but he did after arguing for a minute.

OH...MY...GOD...I was totally mortified and even more afraid than before, and the whole class was completely shocked and appalled at the outburst, needless to say. They had no idea what was going on at the time and were really freaked about it.

During the next break, I walk out of class and guess what, this guy is now back on campus, outside the class, and talking to my now-present husband, begging and pleading and doing exactly what he had done to me for three days. My husband was very calm but told him he had absolutely no sympathy and that it was over.

Well before I could say a word my instructor also walked out of class and saw the guy, and a huge verbal tussle erupted in which everyone watched my instructor yelling at him to leave or get arrested, at which the guy then admitted he had threatened me but that he was only upset at the time and didn't mean it...and he actually started to cry and beg some more. He wouldn't leave and when he saw he wasn't getting anywhere with his arguing he began apologizing to me a million times, and told my husband too how sorry he was, but in the end my instructor forced him to leave while he was still in tears. He was still calling out apologies until we couldn't hear or see him anymore. The whole class was just stunned, as was I.

My husband sat with me through the rest of class, well guess what about an hour later this guy shows up again and storms in to get something he had left behind, and the look he was giving me while he did this absolutely chilled me to the bone. Even my classmates felt the same way and this look chilled them too, some of them told me later. They all begged me to be careful and watch my back.

In the end my instructor filed a report with the campus disciplinarian, and now he's going to get suspended or expelled, and I just can't believe the situation got out of control like it did. For god's sake, it started because he was lazy, and now look...he's got a horrible mark on his record for saying a few careless things. I think my instructor, while faithfully supportive and believe me you do NOT mess with him, probably made the situation worse because he is so hot-headed and made it into such a public spectacle...but my gratitude to him for his actions still is unwavering.

I am afraid to go back to school next week. My husband got permission to come and sit with me through my classes so it will be weird but I don't know what else to do.

Please, if you're still with me and still reading this, say a little prayer for me tonight.

God bless and thanks for listening.

[FutureArmyNurse]

post deleted by me for privacy reasons....

[a_crftyldy]

If your cell phone has caller ID, check with your provider if there is a way you can set your phone up to not accept calls from numbers that are listed as private. The caller would have to enter a special code before being able to call you and that would make their number display. Also, even though it comes across as private, call your provider and explain to them your situation, they should be able to tell you the name and number that called those times. This can be considered harrassment and is illegal.

Hope all turns out well for you.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

And can't you arrange with the phone company to have those calls traced? You wouldn't know the trace results, but they would be reported to the police, and they could follow up.

Write down what happens each day so you will be able to provide a record later. You may feel you'll never be able to forget, but an accurate timeline may be important to you later on.

[BarbPick]

I have my own corporation set up for tax purposesother than me, I have one other employee on staff, my corporate assassin. He comes in handy frequently.

[nessy]

What an absolutely horrible thing to have to go through. Take care of yourself.

[skislalom]

Document Document Document...write down everything that happens, where it happens, when it happens and anyone who may have been present.

A restraining order IS just a piece of paper but, it can be used to keep him off campus (away from you), from legally being able to call you (telephonic harassment). Most will require that the respondant not come within such and such distance of you at your home, place of work, place of school. The more specific you are about your harassment or abuse, the more specific they can be about what how the restraining order reads. IF you have an order and he violates it, the police are supposed to call and check the order and ALL the details of the order. I'd make sure your employer and campus police are aware of the order against him so they can watch for him.

Anyway, be careful, be aware and I hope that the creep can regain his sanity and leave you alone.

Hugs to you

~T

[RNIAM, BSN, RN]

So sorry that you are going through all this. You are in my thoughts. I hope this jerk just gives up and wanders off. I think the police report and a restraining order is a great idea. Take good care of yourself.

[jschut, BSN, RN]

I agree with your hubby. File a report. File it now! And document every move he has made and every word he has said. Document your phone calls on your cell phone and what you have done to prevent this behavior. (ie: blocking the phone number...)

Get a blasted gun permit! Carry one!

Be brave and hang in there...pretty soon he'll find some other "object of affection" and leave you alone. But be safe in the meantime.

Keep us posted.

Hugs and may God keep you~

Julie

PS Sounds like you did the nursing community a favor....what kind of nurse would this person have been? (As suggested by someone else earlier in the thread...)

[smk1, LPN]

PLease PLEASE stay out of your normanl "routine", meaning alternate where you park what car you drive (if at all possible) the time you get to campus (if at all possible) NEVER go ANYWHERE ALONE (This means the bathroom too!) Always thoroughly check out your surroundings. at home make sure EVERY window is locked at all times install motion sensitive lights and if you are close or friendly with your neighbors PLEASE ALERT THEM TO THE POSSIBILITY OF THIS IDIOT CASING YOUR HOME! always have your mace or pepper spray with you and if you keep getting harrased maybe its time for an indoor dog for awhile just for extra protection. I am so sorry this is happening to you. Group Projects absolutely stink. I have had slackers on projects and have to admit that i simply did their portion with mine and in some cases never mentioned to the teacher to avoid problems like this. (though this guy seems to be completely off the deep end) PROTECT YOURSELF AT ALL COSTS!:kiss

[colleen10]

I was just able to read your original post now and all the follow ups to it. It really bothered me. I hope you are doing ok.

This guys does not sounds right in the head. Especially with that religious remark. People like this scare me because you just don't know about them and what they are capable of. Please speak with the police. At the very least to make them aware of what is going on in the event that it does escalate to something more. Maybe they can take a look at his background to see if he has a history of this type of behavior.

Now that you have these phone calls they can probably help you with the phone company to get records of where these calls were made from.

My husband and I once had a close family friend that was also an acquatance of other members of our family and friends. This person got into a disagreement with another member of my family over something as idiotic as politics via email.

A few weeks later he called up my relative early in the morning and basically invited him to a fist fight which of course my relative just hung up on the person. Then about a month later my relative started receiving hang up calls on his phone at all hours of the day and night. My relative went to the police (although at this time he did not know who was making these calls). The police were able to assist him in getting phone records from the telephone company and without a doubt it was this so called friend.

The whole time this was going on (over the course of a few months) this person was over at our house, out with my husband, etc. and we had no idea. He was acting perfectly normal with us, but was a class A psycho.

So, the moral of my story is never take these types of people for granted. You just don't know how far this person will go.

Be safe and careful and I truly hope that this whole thing can just blow over for you.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

FutureArmyNurse,

Please check in when you can and let us know how you're doing. This is scary stuff, and we're concerned about you!

I sincerely hope you spoke to the police today. We've all had psych -- it doesn't take much to see that this guy's "image" of being an A student and a bright, shining future nurse has been blown - he may not feel he has anything left to lose.

Take care.

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

Wow! Could you suggest that the lazy guy be put in nursery school? He definitely has a loooottt of growing up to do.