What a day I'm having! I have to vent about this crazy situation or I'm absolutely going to lose my mind.
I am entering the last week of my winter microbio class. A ten page group research paper worth 15% of our grade was due today (Friday). Everyone was supposed to contribute two pages, and give them to me so I could put it together along with all the auxiliary material. It was going to be a lot of work and had to be perfect and up to extremely high standards.
Anyway...because we had such a short time, I told my group they HAD to send me something by the Friday before today so I could put it together over the weekend. This gave them a month to do their part. Well, they all sent me their papers except for one guy who I thought was going to be our strongest asset in the group. But I put together what I could that weekend...and he didn't answer his phone or my emails.
To make a long story short, drama + begging = I finally got something from him Tuesday...and the paper was due Friday morning at 8..and what he sent me was TOTAL CRAP. We were required to use only professional resources like JAMA, Lancet, etc. He sent me barely one page directly cut and pasted from http://www.howstuffworks.com. On top of that, he didn't do his part of the paper (history of BSE) he did another girl's assignment, and hers was excellent and properly referenced!
Needless to say, I couldn't use any of his paper. I don't know why, but I gave him another day to pull his sh-- together. I told him if he doesn't send me something, as group leader I am removing his name from the paper.
Come Wednesday night, I still received NOTHING.
Drama ensues.
Although I work full time as well as taking this class in six weeks (totally crazy I know) there was nothing I could do but research and type for two days straight until the crack of dawn to make up for the missing portion. My job suffered (I got in trouble for working on it there), my sleep was non-existent, and I was grouchy as hell and called my poor hubby a jerk for no reason. I couldn't do my lab manual or study for the lab practicum during this time. It was so stressful I got a killer headache which I still have.
Wednesday night I emailed and told this particular group member his name was now off the paper, and I informed my instructor as well. This is where all hell broke loose. As soon as I got to school he followed me everywhere to beg and plead, he offered to get a copy of the final from his friend who could get it, he tried to give me a free cell phone, offered to do my lab manual, etc...well mighty tempting it wasn't and I totally refused to even consider it. I told him again and again that his excuses were ridiculous - he was saying he didn't know how to do it because I never told him how. I thought, do you want me to wipe your butt for you too?? He said he did his best, honest. I though, if that's your best god forbid you do your worst. It was a farce. We spent a whole hour in class the second day of the term discussing how the group project worked, and he was there! Not to mention he was also there for numerous group discussions and indicated he was perfectly fine and understood the project.
I told my group about my decision and they were fine with it. They backed me up when he began begging them to reconsider too. This guy then, on one of our class breaks, got angrier and angrier and actually FOLLOWED ME INTO THE LADIES RESTROOM to harass me! I couldn't get away but I stood up to him and said he could not scare me into it, it was over, end of story, buh-bye, and he left.
After class he accosted my professor in his office and threw a crying fit and told all kinds of lies and gave all kinds of excuses. He was upset because he is a straight A student and it was going to ruin his average. But my instructor was already well aware of the situation and had absolutely not one single iota of sympathy for him because he admitted outright he didn't do anything for the paper because he "didn't have time and didn't know how"...so that killed it right there and he was thrown of the office after an hour of carrying on and blubbering and getting nowhere.
This person then stupidly proceeded to tell another group member this morning that I better be careful, what comes around goes around, I better watch my every step. He said he wasn't going to let me get away with it and basically inferred that one way or another his name would be on the paper.
Today this group member who he was talking to told me he was extremely worried for my safety because this guy was so extraordinarily angry, and told me to please please call my husband to come sit in class with me and walk me to the car when it was over. So I did, while my hubby was on his way we did the presentation and it was done with and no turning back now.
After the presentation in which the guy was not allowed to take part, my instructor saw I had moved my seat to a far corner next to an exit to the lab supply room, and he quickly figured out I was afraid and that I was sitting there for my safety. He came over while the next group was setting up their presentation and whispered to me to tell him what happened. I quickly told him about the threats, and that I had called my husband and could he sit in class with me? Well to my total surprise he up and exploded in anger and promptly, in front of everyone, announced he would not tolerate the behavior, called it "crap" and yelled at and kicked the guy out of class and threatened to call the campus police to escort him off campus. He first wouldn't leave but he did after arguing for a minute.
OH...MY...GOD...I was totally mortified and even more afraid than before, and the whole class was completely shocked and appalled at the outburst, needless to say. They had no idea what was going on at the time and were really freaked about it.
During the next break, I walk out of class and guess what, this guy is now back on campus, outside the class, and talking to my now-present husband, begging and pleading and doing exactly what he had done to me for three days. My husband was very calm but told him he had absolutely no sympathy and that it was over.
Well before I could say a word my instructor also walked out of class and saw the guy, and a huge verbal tussle erupted in which everyone watched my instructor yelling at him to leave or get arrested, at which the guy then admitted he had threatened me but that he was only upset at the time and didn't mean it...and he actually started to cry and beg some more. He wouldn't leave and when he saw he wasn't getting anywhere with his arguing he began apologizing to me a million times, and told my husband too how sorry he was, but in the end my instructor forced him to leave while he was still in tears. He was still calling out apologies until we couldn't hear or see him anymore. The whole class was just stunned, as was I.
My husband sat with me through the rest of class, well guess what about an hour later this guy shows up again and storms in to get something he had left behind, and the look he was giving me while he did this absolutely chilled me to the bone. Even my classmates felt the same way and this look chilled them too, some of them told me later. They all begged me to be careful and watch my back.
In the end my instructor filed a report with the campus disciplinarian, and now he's going to get suspended or expelled, and I just can't believe the situation got out of control like it did. For god's sake, it started because he was lazy, and now look...he's got a horrible mark on his record for saying a few careless things. I think my instructor, while faithfully supportive and believe me you do NOT mess with him, probably made the situation worse because he is so hot-headed and made it into such a public spectacle...but my gratitude to him for his actions still is unwavering.
I am afraid to go back to school next week. My husband got permission to come and sit with me through my classes so it will be weird but I don't know what else to do.
Please, if you're still with me and still reading this, say a little prayer for me tonight.
God bless and thanks for listening.
FutureArmyNurse
65 Posts
Dear Buddhakan,
You replied that you "find it hard to believe...that you didn't play some small part in this." Did you even read the post? I played a BIG part in it! I stood up for what was right and ethical, but afterwards I was determined to let the subject drop. He made the unfortunate choice to begin threatening me - my own classmates were following me around during the breaks to protect me, my instructor saw what was going on and the whole thing just got magnified out of all proportion to reality. It was his doing, and I didn't let him get away with it. So you are right, I did play a part. So may I respectfully ask, what is your point?
Also, I agree with you that I needed to chill out. At the time I wrote this I was very upset and emotional (notice at the very beginning I warned that I was venting) but you know what, writing this post totally got all the anger out of my system and now I am chillin' like a villian. Writing is awesome therapy.
Thanks to everyone else for your supportive posts! I am not looking forward to the thought of seeing this fellow again on Monday. I have pepper spray and my classmates and hubby are there for me too all the way.
Thanks again for the prayers...